- Rebecca Howe: Guess what I kept on seeing when I was driving into work just now?
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: The middle finger of every driver in Boston?
- Cliff Clavin: I didn't tell you guys 'cause I didn't want you to think any less of me.
- Norm Peterson: I don't think that's possible, Cliff.
- [Andy Schroeder, the murderer who once dated Diane, comes into the bar with dynamite strapped to his body]
- Rebecca Howe: [gasps in fright as she sees Andy] Oh my God.
- Norm Peterson: Hey, it's Andy Andy.
- Rebecca Howe: What, you know this person?
- Cliff Clavin: [matter of factly] Yeah. Former major felon. Once killed a waitress.
- Andy Schroeder: [yells] Where's Diane? I demand to see Diane!
- Woody Boyd: Well, Miss Chambers hasn't worked here in five or six years.
- Andy Schroeder: [surprised] Oh, really? Well... okay.
- [Andy walks out of the bar as plainly as he came in]
- [Frasier walks out of the men's room, where he was helping Cliff]
- Sam Malone: [about Cliff] Oh, how's he doing there, Frasier?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, better, I think. Carla volunteered to bathe his face with cold water and he was doing fine until the seat came down on his head.
- Sy Flembeck: Alright. The Cheers theme by Sy Flembeck. Beer and pretzels that's our game, C-H-E-R-S. If you don't come here that's a shame, C-H-E-R-S. With a C-C here and a C-C there...
- Rebecca Howe: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait! What are you doing that's all wrong! First of all, "Cheers" is spelled with 2 Es. Second, I paid you a lot of money to come up with an original tune.
- Sy Flembeck: You don't need an original tune, you want something that will bore a hole through the public's little pea-brains.
- Rebecca Howe: You are all hype and no substance. I was mesmerized by your show-business savvy. You couldn't write a jingle to save your life.
- Sy Flembeck: Hey babe, come on, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, what is it? Huh, what, what, what? The "Old MacDonald" melody? Hey I can change that! Sy Flembeck is nothing if he's not versatile. Alright just a second. OK, OK, OK, I got it. Beer and pretzels, that's our game, that's our game, that's our game, beer and pretzels, that's our game, C-H-E-R-S. E-E, E-E!
- Rebecca Howe: Out.
- Sy Flembeck: What's the matter, babe? Can't work with a man you're attracted to?
- Rebecca Howe: Oh God, out!
- Sy Flembeck: I'll be home all night, the payphone's just down the hall from my room.