- Diane Chambers: Sam, I have to ask you a question. And promise you won't make a joke out of it, okay?
- Sam Malone: I promise. What's up?
- Diane Chambers: Do you think I'm crazy?
- Sam Malone: Yes.
- Diane Chambers: Now the joke is out of the way, will you help me? I know this is a strange question, but it's important. Do you think I'm... crazy?
- Sam Malone: Yes.
- Diane Chambers: You're incapable of a rational conversation, only flip remarks.
- Sam Malone: Wait a minute. Do you mean are you crazy, like seriously unbalanced, like losing your grasp on reality?
- Diane Chambers: Yes.
- Sam Malone: Oh, well, then... yes.
- Phil Ryan: [walks into the bar toward Coach] Hello.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Oh, hi. What can I get you?
- Phil Ryan: I'm a phone company repairman.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [sticks out his hand to shake Phil's] Oh, I'm a bartender, Ernie Pantusso.
- [they shake hands]
- Phil Ryan: Phil Ryan. I got a call to come down here.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Gee, there must be some mistake, Phil. I, I, I didn't call for any repairman.
- Carla Tortelli: I think Sam put in a call, Coach.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: He did?
- Carla Tortelli: Uh-huh.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Gee, that's strange. He didn't say anything to me about it. I better give him a call and find out what this is all about.
- [picks up the phone and starts to dial. finds out the phone isn't working]
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Bum luck, Phil. The phone's out.
- [Phil looks at Carla, confused about The Coach]
- Carla Tortelli: [to Phil about The Coach] Give him a couple of seconds.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [long pause] Say, Phil, uh, I hate to impose on you but since they got you down here on this wild goose chase, would you mind taking a look at the phone?
- Phil Ryan: Sure.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Thank you.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [to Carla quietly] Lucky thing he happened by here, huh Carla?
- Carla Tortelli: Sometimes fate takes a hand, Coach.
- Diane Chambers: I'm having dinner upstairs with Frasier and his mother. She's a seafood aficionado. I think she'll like the bouillabaisse at Melville's.
- Sam Malone: You're having dinner with Frasier's mother?
- Diane Chambers: You actually deduced I'm having dinner with Frasier and his mother when all I did was say it in your presence. No flash cards, no crib notes on your sleeve - uncanny.
- Hester Rose Crane: [about Diane] I understand you used to date that woman. I want to know how much you charge to start things up again.
- [starts writing out a cheque]
- Sam Malone: You don't have enough money.
- Hester Rose Crane: How would you know?
- Sam Malone: There isn't enough money.
- Hester Rose Crane: I know what you mean.
- [rips up the cheque]
- Sam Malone: No, I don't think you do.
- Hester Rose Crane: I think I do.
- Sam Malone: Oh, no.
- Hester Rose Crane: Oh, yes.
- Sam Malone: Oh, no...