- Gloria LeBec: I want to talk to you.
- Carla LeBec: Yeah? I want to scratch you bald, paint your butt blue and mail you to Guam.
- Gloria LeBec: I'd like to see you try.
- Norm Peterson: Yeah, I'd like to see that too actually.
- Gloria LeBec: [to Carla] I was at a little disadvantage at the funeral. You had your friends and family around. You had fistfuls of my hair in your hands.
- Carla LeBec: I bet the only reason he married you was because he knocked you up.
- Gloria LeBec: How do you know that?
- Carla LeBec: Babe's intuition.
- Gloria LeBec: Yeah? Well, maybe that's the same reason he married you.
- Carla LeBec: Yeah, but with me, it wasn't a cheap thrill. It was a very tender moment in the back of a Datsun hatchback.
- Gloria LeBec: [raises her hand] Toyota Corolla. Front seat.
- Cliff Clavin: All right ladies, ladies, let's stop right now, huh? Uh, all this talk about conceiving your children in these cars. This makes me sick. Doesn't anybody buy American anymore?
- Sam Malone: [reads a letter from the deceased Eddie to Carla] "Dear Carla. I hope you never have to read this because if you do, it means I'm dead. How are you, hey? I've done a terrible thing. I had to marry another woman. I didn't want to, but I made her pregnant. Oh, I guess I did two terrible things. Anyway, I just want you to know I'm sorry. You will always be the love of my life, even in death. Stay loose. Love, Eddie."
- Gloria LeBec: [about the photo of Eddie with Carla's sons] I guess this belongs to you too.
- Carla LeBec: Thanks.
- Gloria LeBec: I hope the one on the left's nose isn't still running.
- Carla LeBec: Oh, no, he just does that for pictures.
- Gloria LeBec: So do my boys.
- Carla LeBec: You know, maybe it was hereditary, because Eddie's nose was always running.
- Gloria LeBec: This was his favorite picture and he wanted me to have it, him and his nephews. They look very happy.
- Carla LeBec: Let me see that. Those aren't his nephews, those are my kids. They're smiling because this picture was taken the day they found out they weren't being tried as adults.
- Sam Malone: [Carla's cross after a phone call from the ice show] So I guess Eddie's not gonna make it to graduation.
- Carla LeBec: No, he's not.
- Norm Peterson: What was his excuse?
- Carla LeBec: He's dead.
- Woody Boyd: [chuckles] That old excuse.
- Sam Malone: What's the problem?
- Carla LeBec: [quietly] Eddie's *dead*.