Cheers (TV Series)

Death Takes a Holiday on Ice (1989)

Rhea Perlman: Carla Tortelli

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gloria LeBec : I want to talk to you.

  Carla LeBec : Yeah? I want to scratch you bald, paint your butt blue and mail you to Guam.

  Gloria LeBec : I'd like to see you try.

  Norm Peterson : Yeah, I'd like to see that too actually.

• Carla LeBec : I bet the only reason he married you was because he knocked you up.

  Gloria LeBec : How do you know that?

  Carla LeBec : Babe's intuition.

  Gloria LeBec : Yeah? Well, maybe that's the same reason he married you.

  Carla LeBec : Yeah, but with me, it wasn't a cheap thrill. It was a very tender moment in the back of a Datsun hatchback.

  Gloria LeBec : [raises her hand]  Toyota Corolla. Front seat.

  Cliff Clavin : All right ladies, ladies, let's stop right now, huh? Uh, all this talk about conceiving your children in these cars. This makes me sick. Doesn't anybody buy American anymore?

• Gloria LeBec : [about the photo of Eddie with Carla's sons]  I guess this belongs to you too.

  Carla LeBec : Thanks.

  Gloria LeBec : I hope the one on the left's nose isn't still running.

  Carla LeBec : Oh, no, he just does that for pictures.

  Gloria LeBec : So do my boys.

  Carla LeBec : You know, maybe it was hereditary, because Eddie's nose was always running.

• Gloria LeBec : This was his favorite picture and he wanted me to have it, him and his nephews. They look very happy.

  Carla LeBec : Let me see that. Those aren't his nephews, those are my kids. They're smiling because this picture was taken the day they found out they weren't being tried as adults.

• Sam Malone : [Carla's cross after a phone call from the ice show]  So I guess Eddie's not gonna make it to graduation.

  Carla LeBec : No, he's not.

  Norm Peterson : What was his excuse?

  Carla LeBec : He's dead.

  Woody Boyd : [chuckles]  That old excuse.

  Sam Malone : What's the problem?

  Carla LeBec : [quietly]  Eddie's *dead*.