The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

The Clampetts in London (1967)

Alan Napier: Chemist

Quotes 

• Chemist : Let me see if I can remember the formula from Macbeth. Eye of newt, and toe of frog. Wool of bat, and tongue of dog. Adder's fork...

  Daisy Moses : Now there's a druggist!

  Chemist : I do rather pride myself on my Shakespeare.

  Daisy Moses : I never tried that, but if you recommend it, I'll take some.

  Chemist : Take some Shakespeare?

  Daisy Moses : How do you sell it over here? By the bag or by the bottle?

  Chemist : Well I should say that we sell Shakespeare by the volume, by the play, by the sonnet.

  Daisy Moses : Well gimme half a sonnet.

• Chemist : If I could write the beauty of your eyes, And in fresh numbers number all of your graces, The age to come would say 'This poet lies; Such heavenly touches ne'er touched earthly faces.'

  Daisy Moses : What do you make of that, Jed?

  Jed Clampett : Guess he kinda took a shine to you.

• Daisy Moses : Let's get back to my Shakespeare.

  Chemist : Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date.

  Daisy Moses : He just can't keep his mind on business.

  Jed Clampett : I told you, Granny, that rascal's took with you.

• Daisy Moses : Tell you what. I'll take a whole sonnet of that Shakespeare.

  Chemist : May I suggest some 'Venus and Adonis'?

  Daisy Moses : If it's good stuff.

  Chemist : Touch but my lips with those fair lips of thine, - Though mine be not so fair, yet are they red - The kiss shall be thine own as well as mine.

  Daisy Moses : Why don't you take a walk, Jed?

  Jed Clampett : What about your duty to Marcus?

  Daisy Moses : Who?

  Jed Clampett : Cousin Marcus, layin' sick in the castle, your patient.

  Daisy Moses : Patients I can git, Jed, but at my age, suitors are kinda scarce.