The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)
The Boarder (1964)
Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett
Photos
Quotes
-
Jed Clampett : [Elly May calls her chimp 'Cousin Bessie'] You hadn't ought to call that critter 'cousin', Elly.
Elly May Clampett : But why not?
Jed Clampett : Well, you see, Jethro's your cousin and that puts Jethro and her in the same... well, never mind. I reckon I just gotta get used to bein' a monkey's uncle.
-
Mr. Pinckney : You are never to address me as Arthur, only as Mr. Pinckney, sir.
Daisy Moses : I ain't no sir!
Jed Clampett : I wouldn't fault him for that. Maybe he don't see so good, he's lost half his glasses.
-
Jed Clampett : Mr. Pinckney, we want you to think of yourself as one of the family.
Mr. Pinckney : What a nauseating suggestion.
-
Daisy Moses : [looking at the signs Jethro made for the boarding house] Did you make a sign about my lye soap?
Jethro Bodine : [showing her the sign] Oh yeah Granny. Free lye soap.
Daisy Moses : Oh that will draw them in like flies.
Jed Clampett : You got to throw in a little extra with those stiff rates you're charging.
Daisy Moses : Well Jed I'm giving every boarder a private room and all he can eat.
Jed Clampett : Yeah but a dollar a night?
Daisy Moses : Well I figure that will keep out the riff-raff.
-
Mr. Pinckney : You're setting a fine example for young Master Jethro.
Jed Clampett : Come on, young Mosster Jethro.
-
Mr. Pinckney : I will dress you, sir.
Jed Clampett : You'll what?
Mr. Pinckney : Dress you, sir.
Jed Clampett : I wouldn't bet on that.
Mr. Pinckney : But you need my help, sir.
Jed Clampett : I been dressin' myself for a lotta years and I aim to keep right on doin' it.
Mr. Pinckney : I insist, sir.
Jed Clampett : You wanna dress me, you got to shoot me and skin me first.