- Jethro Bodine: I couldn't find no wretchweed or dogbane either. Couldn't find no lizard eggs nor dried beetles.
- Daisy Moses: How can you be a doctor in Beverly Hills without the proper medicine?
- Daisy Moses: [Granny is facing the dog, believing it is Jed] Save your strength. You're wrinklin' fast.
- Elly May Clampett: Granny, your specs is all steamed up. That's Duke!
- Milburn Drysdale: [Dr. Clyburn is using a tongue depressor on Mr. Drysdale] Ahhhh
- Jed Clampett: Say doctor, I bet ya he could talk a heap better if you took that stick outta his mouth.