- Commissioner Gordon: [about to pick up the Bat-phone] Once again we take our poor, cracked pitcher to the Caped Crusader's well.
- The Joker: [after having been tricked by Batman into following a false signal to the Batcave] I'll have it! By all the saints of wicked mirth, I'll have it! The last laugh will still be mine!
- Batman: Aha! Just as I suspected. The agile crook also managed to slip an induction receiving antenna into your left trouser leg.
- Batman: Time for us to go fishing, if you ask me.
- Chief O'Hara: Fishing?
- Commissioner Gordon: But where, Batman?
- Batman: Where the fishing is always best, Commissioner, from a shady bank.
- Narrator: Indignity of indignities! Robin printed into a comic book! Bruce Wayne his old chum's killer? For the crushing finale, tune in tomorrow! Same bat-time, same bat-channel!
- Alfred: Excusing the intrusion, sir, but might I point out an oddity in this automaton's attire?
- Batman: By all means, Alfred.
- Alfred: This sleeve, sir. Now to my practiced eye, it would appear that it has been pressed by a most uncommon pressure.
- Robin: He's right, Batman. Look, the buttons are pushed almost through the back.
- Alfred: And here, sir. I clearly detect traces of multi-colored spots which have been frequently but clumsily sponged.
- Batman: Congratulations, Alfred. Your keen sartorial sense has done it again.