- The Penguin: Now lets toss the costumes corpses over the pier. To the sharks with them.
- [walks around the shooting stand to find Batman & Robin gone]
- The Penguin: Great blubbering whale oil! They've evaporated!
- Aunt Harriet Cooper: Batman and Robin dead? What in the world is going to become of us?
- Alfred Pennyworth: Perhaps that's a better question than you realize, madam.
- Aunt Harriet Cooper: How I wish Bruce and Dick were here. Maybe they could console me.
- Alfred Pennyworth: I doubt that very much, Mrs Cooper. I doubt it very much.
- [pulls out a hankerchief to dry his eyes]
- Chief O'Hara: On the ammunition used in the shootout with Batman and Robin; 297 rounds of ammunition, including Tommy guns and pistols. It's strange, isn't it, Commissioner?
- Commissioner Gordon: Isn't what strange, Chief O'Hara?
- Chief O'Hara: 297 rounds of blanks, they cost more than the real thing.
- Chief O'Hara: You greedy bird! Have you no conscience?
- Commissioner Gordon: Great Scot, Penguin, this woman loves you, she's still willing to marry you.
- The Penguin: Who, me? The Penguin married and kept in a bathtub?
- Sophia Starr: I do love you, Pengy, I'd try so hard to reform you.
- The Penguin: Great quivering icebergs! Take me to prison!
- [waddles out]
- Commissioner Gordon: [the police have gunned down Batman and Robin] Don't feel too badly about it, men, you did what you had to do. It's always tragic to see a crime fighter turn bad.