- Henchman #2: [after Batman and Robin walk up out of the chimney] Hey, boss, they're gone!
- The Joker: I know that!
- Henchman #2: But how did they get out?
- The Joker: They took the elevator! What do you think?
- Girl Clerk: Good afternoon, may I help you?
- Bruce Wayne: Thank you. We thought we might find some amusing favors for a small diner party this young man is giving.
- Girl Clerk: To be sure. How about these?
- [hands over some fake glasses]
- [last lines]
- Bruce Wayne: [answering Batphone] Yes, Commissioner?
- Commissioner Gordon: Uh, shocking news, Batman.
- Bruce Wayne: What could it be?
- Commissioner Gordon: I've heard a most alarming rumor--that you've been asked to go to California and run for Governor
- Bruce Wayne: [chuckles] Calm your fears, Commissioner. The rumor is unfounded. As long as there's a criminal at large in Gotham City, wild horses couldn't drag me away.
- Commissioner Gordon: Oh, thank heavens, Batman!
- Chief O'Hara: Saints be praised!
- Bruce Wayne: Goodbye, Commissioner.
- [hangs up Batphone]
- Dick Grayson: Holy Golden Gate!
- The Joker: [after his cover is blown and his Maharaja costume destroyed] Egads! I'm deflated!
- Batman: A fitting end for you, Joker. Like the rest of your criminal ilk, you were never anything but a threatening bag of hot air. Chief O'Hara, call your men. Cart this human trash away.
- Chief O'Hara: Right.
- Commissioner Gordon: [on phone] I warn you Joker, if the Maharajah is harmed, we'll hunt you down, if it takes a hundred years.
- The Joker: [on other line] By that time my jokes will be stale, wouldn't they, Commisioner?
- [laughs]