- Angel: You know, this really is just a place to live.
- Cordelia: No, It's more. It's beautiful - and if it goes away it's like...
- Angel: Like what?
- Cordelia: Like I'm still getting punished.
- Angel: Punished?
- [Cordy nods]
- Angel: For what?
- Cordelia: I don't know. For what I was? For everything I said in High School just because I could get away with it? And then it all ended, and I had to pay. Oh, but this apartment - I could be me again. Punishment over Welcome back to your life! Like - like, I couldn't be that awful if I get to have a place like that? It's just like you!
- Angel: Working for redemption.
- Cordelia: I meant because you used to have that mansion.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, you high school diploma is all burned.
- Cordelia: Yeah, it was a rough ceremony.
- Angel: I think she's one of Cordelia's group. People called them the Cordettes. A bunch of girls from wealthy families. They ruled the high school; decided what was in, who was popular. It was like the Soviet Secret Police if they cared a lot about shoes.
- Cordelia: Your cousin called with one of those names from your part of England.
- Allen Francis Doyle: My part of *England*?
- Cordelia: I'm not a sniveling, whiny, little cry-Buffy. I'm the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history. I take crap from no one.
- Cordelia: [On the phone in her new apartment] God, Aura. I can't believe I missed your calls! It's that incompetent girl at work. But things are going great. - Well, my new apartment for one thing. Celebrities are practically on top of me. Oh, Steve Paymer, - that's Dave Paymer's brother lives right down the hall. Oh, you'd know him if you saw him. And my view, it's amazing! - Yeah, I have a room mate, but it's cool. I never see him.
- [Her can of diet root beer slides away from her on the sofa table and she puts her hand over the receiver]
- Cordelia: Hey, hey - Phantom Dennis, put that back.
- [Can slides back. To Aura]
- Cordelia: All in all, its working out great.
- [the TV turns on and Cordy covers up the receiver again]
- Cordelia: Dennis, when I'm on the phone, that's quiet time.
- [TV turns off]
- Cordelia: Thanks.
- Detective Kate Lockley: Well, see, the thing about detectives is they have résumés and business licenses and last names. Pop stars and Popes, those are the one-name guys.
- Angel: You got me. I'm a Pope.
- Cordelia: Back off, Polygrip! You think you're bad? All mean and haunty? Picking on poor, pathetic Cordy? Well, get ready to haul your wrinkly, translucent ass out of this place, 'cause lady, the bitch is back.
- Cordelia: [after discovering a poltergeist in her apartment] I just knew this was to good to be true. I just knew it! I'm from Sunnydale, you're not scaring me, you know. No. You're not scaring me. You're not scaring me. Not one bit.
- Allen Francis Doyle: [the ghost is writing in blood on Cordelia's wall] Cordy, it says 'die'!
- Cordelia: Hey, maybe it's not done. Maybe it's 'diet'. That's friendly. A little judgmental, sure.
- Cordelia: First thing, I hire someone to take out that wall.
- Allen Francis Doyle: I thought you said it was perfect?
- Cordelia: Yes. And part of it being perfect is there being one *tiny* flaw for me to fix.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Ah, must be why you find me so fascinating.
- Young Man: [Showing Cordy an apartment] It's like a community, you know? We share all the upkeep and chores.
- Cordelia: My urination just hasn't been public enough lately.
- Young Man: Oh, we don't believe in barriers. It's the first rule of the great leader.
- [Cordy and Doyle share a look]
- Young Man: Ah, you can come to the meetings if you want. Every morning at 5:00.
- Cordelia: Okay, that's just a touch too early for me.
- Young Man: Oh, you'll be up. The Chanting starts at 4:00.
- Allen Francis Doyle: If you ever wanna, you know, spend one night away from the place, maybe give me a call.
- Cordelia: Well, stranger things have happened. No, wait... they really haven't.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Come on, you know I was crazy about her, and I was wearin' her down, too. But no, handsome, brooding, vampire guy has to swoop in, all sensitive mouth and overhangin' forehead. How 'bout leaving some scraps for the homely-looking fellas who don't turn evil when they get some?
- Allen Francis Doyle: It's all about money! What about friendship and family and all those things that are priceless like they say in that credit card commercial?
- Angel: You're makin' me wanna fight some more. You get lucky, you might last ten minutes; really lucky, and you're unconscious for the last five.
- Allen Francis Doyle: [trying to do a spell] Aww, man. Latin! One of those dead languages you always mean to learn.
- Cordelia: [about Angel] The man doesn't even have a mirror. Like it would kill him to not see himself?
- Cordelia: I've had it with these cheap trash bags! They leak and break and end up costing us more!
- [Drops bag in front of Doyle]
- Allen Francis Doyle: I believe it.
- Cordelia: Yeah, It was a great audition! I was all about things leaking. How could they not pick me?
- Allen Francis Doyle: They don't know what they missed.
- Cordelia: They gave it to a blonde that showed up in a skintight leather cat suit. She is supposed to be a housewife! She looked ridiculous. She looked like cat-woman taking out the cat-trash.
- Cordelia: I'll leave. I'm sorry your son killed you. You can have the apartment. Just let me go.
- Maude Pearson: It's too late for that.
- Cordelia: No.
- Maude Pearson: You know what happens next. Your friends are dirty. They ruined my nice home. I knew you were trouble right from the start.
- [Cordy drops to the floor and sobs]
- Maude Pearson: I'm surprised that my son didn't smell the stench of poverty and failure on you. - I can.
- Cordelia: I'm sorry.
- Maude Pearson: You better be sorry you stupid little bitch.
- Cordelia: [stops crying and being upset] I am a bitch.
- Cordelia: This is easy. Little Old Lady ghost, probably hanging around 'cause she thinks she left the iron on.
- Cordelia: [looking at her new place] Oh, my gosh. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?
- Allen Francis Doyle: [looking at her] No, never.
- Allen Francis Doyle: [about his life story] Quite a tale it is, too. Full of ribald adventures and beautiful damsels with loose morals...
- Cordelia: Who ever you think you're talking to, it's not me. My name is Cordelia.
- Maude Pearson: Oh, that's the name of a cheap small-town tramp trying to sound better than she is. You're not good enough for my boy. This will never be your home.
- Cordelia: This is my home. My friends will come here.
- Maude Pearson: You don't have any friends. Why would anybody care about you? Nobody really cares. You don't deserve to live here. You don't deserve *anything*.
- Maude Pearson: Oh, come on. If anyone really cared about you, would you be here? People let you end up here because they were happy to see you fail.
- Allen Francis Doyle: [about Cordelia] She's really something, isn't she? It's like wrestlin' a tiger just to get to know her.
- Angel: It's not an easy spell. I mean, hawthorn berries, and lungwort, and-and bile. We need bile. I-I don't know if we can get everything.
- Maude Pearson: [now invisible, playing "You Always Hurt The Ones You Love" by The Mills Brothers and the dressers move on their own] What do you think you're doing here? You never should have come.
- Cordelia: [At Angel's office, the phone rings] Angel investigations, we help the hopeless, if that's you, leave a message.
- Maude Pearson: [on the phone in Angel's voice] Cordelia, are you there? Look, I think we can end this whole thing.
- Cordelia: [Cordy picks up the phone] I'm here. About time you called. You got something?
- Maude Pearson: [in Angel's voice, on the phone] Meet me at the apartment and we'll figure out what to do.
- Cordelia: Okay.
- [hangs up the phone and leaves as she unlocks the door to her apartment. She looks around the dark and empty apartment]
- Maude Pearson: [in Angel's voice] Cordelia, I'm in the bedroom.
- Cordelia: Angel?
- Maude Pearson: [in Angel's voice] You have my call.
- [Cordelia runs out of the bedroom. The apartment door won't open. She flies backwards through the air. As she picks herself up Maude is standing there]
- Maude Pearson: Poor thing. You just don't fit in around here, do you? Too bad you wouldn't leave my son alone.
- Cordelia: Your-your son?
- Angel: Damn it. Do you know what it means? The ghost is in contact with you. She's given you that.
- Maude Pearson: [whispering to Cordy] They don't care about you. They want to you to fail. They know you're a tarted up little whore.
- [last lines]
- Cordelia: [on the phone] Sorry. So, where were we? Tell me who's wearing what in Sunnydale... No! Well, she never did have any taste. She is so nasty.