American Dad! (TV Series)

Stan Knows Best (2005)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, Greg Corbin, Alan Greenspan

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Stan brings home a baby to replace Hayley when she moves out] 

  Roger the Alien : Is that a Chinese baby?

  Stanley Smith : Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.

• [Roger must play a burn victim in front of Steve's crush] 

  Roger the Alien : I even watched the latest Meg Ryan movie where she played that burn victim.

  Steve Smith : She never played a burn victim.

  [Steve walks off] 

  Roger the Alien : Oh, Meg, honey...

• [At her new stripping job, Hayley's parents stay to watch] 

  Stanley Smith : Shake it, baby! You will not break it!

  Francine Smith : It took me nine months to make it!

• Francine Smith : How's your French toast, honey?

  Stanley Smith : Smelly and ungrateful! But this "American toast" is fantastic!

• Francine Smith : How's everyone's French toast?

  Stanley Smith : Smelly and ungrateful! But this American toast is delicious.

• Stanley Smith : [holding a baby]  One of us pooped.

• [Family is playing Scrabble] 

  Steve Smith : Quivecs? That's not a word.

  Roger the Alien : It is on my planet!

  Francine Smith : Is it a proper noun?

  [beat] 

  Roger the Alien : Damn!

  [rearranges letters]