- Chazz Coleman: If you have feelings for me, have the decency to lie to me. That's what people do to protect each other. They lie. Alright? That's why I lied every time you asked me where I was. The truth would've crushed you.
- Brian Callahan: In your 20s, you think you know everything, in your 30s you realize you don't know shit.
- Brian Callahan: I'm not going Kurt Cobain, but Smells like teen spirit, it's got nothing on The Great Gatsby.
- Brian Callahan: [breaking up with Bernadette] You've gotta great job waiting for you in Seattle... and I don't wanna leave New York... and I don't think that you should let me stand in your way.
- Chazz Coleman: Some guys use magazines, other guys go online, I don't see what the fucking problem is.
- Patti Petalson: I guess the fucking problem is that you got caught.