- [a dead body has been impaled by a Québec-Ontario border sign. There is a dispute concerning jurisdiction]
- Martin Ward: His heart is in Québec.
- David Bouchard: But his ass belongs to you.
- David Bouchard: [reffering to Martin Ward] I know he looks like a gay accountant, but don't trust appearances, he's not an accountant.
- Martin Ward: His heart is in Québec.
- David Bouchard: Ya l'Ontario dans l'cul aussi!
- Martin Ward: What ?
- David Bouchard: But his ass belongs to you.
- David Bouchard: [surprised] You speak French?
- Martin Ward: No, not really. I had a small gadget installed in my brain and I see subtitles under people when they speak.
- [Luc, wearing the mascot costume, tries to walk down stairs but his feet are too big]
- Luc Therrien: Oh for fuck's sake...
- Harry Buttman: [Buttman is bound and lying in a car trunk] Don't you know who I am? We'll sue your asses. You can't put me in the trunk of a car.
- Martin Ward: Yes we can. It's Quebec tradition.
- [Ward closes the car trunk]
- Iris Ward: What are you doing here?
- Johnathan Ward: I just saved my dad.
- David Bouchard: From what? Heart attack by watching curling on TV?
- Tattoo Killer: [Tattoo Killer is running, and a beep sound like a bomb is heard] You've got to be fucking kidding me
- [he explodes]
- [Luc, wearing the mascot costume, realizes his hands are too big to press the elevator button]
- Luc Therrien: Goddammit...
- [the car explodes with Therrien supposedly inside]
- Martin Ward: The suspect!
- David Bouchard: Mon char!
- Martin Ward: How are we going to explain this?
- David Bouchard: [French] For the moment, we say nothing.
- Martin Ward: Quoi? Are you crazy? The suspect just died in your car - we have to report this!
- David Bouchard: [French] You're the nut case! What do you think your bosses will say when they find out this happened as a result of your negligence?
- Martin Ward: My negligence? I told you that we should bring him to headquarters, but you couldn't stand the thought of not being able to sit around showing off in front of your pals!
- David Bouchard: [French] Well, if your fucking procedures were so important, how come *you* didn't stay with the car instead of coming inside and sucking up for a free meal, and flirting with my ex-wife in front of our child?
- Martin Ward: That's it - you're crazy! I'm going to write my report detailing exactly what happened, and I don't care what you do but I'm not letting you drag me down in this shit with you!
- David Bouchard: [French] It's too late, because you're already in shit! If you want to keep your job and be able to feed our kids, then the only way we can get through this is by shutting up and finding the sick that did this!
- [English]
- David Bouchard: That's the only way out!
- Martin Ward: Shit de merde de shit de fuck de TABARNAC!
- David Bouchard: [French] 24 hours. Give me 24 hours. If we can't find anything, I'll explain what happened.
- Martin Ward: Not one hour more!
- David Bouchard: [French] Well, the investigation is moving forward.
- [nods to the car]
- David Bouchard: At least we know it wasn't him.
- Luc Therrien: [in front of a mirror wearing mascot costume] Are you talkin' to me? Huh? Are you talkin' to me?
- [Luc tries to leave the bathroom but runs head on into a wall]
- David Bouchard: [in English] You could lose your job for this.
- Martin Ward: [in French] I don't give a damn!
- David Bouchard: [in French] Chief, it's okay - I understand English.
- Capt. Le Boeuf: [French] Ah, shit.
- [to MacDuff, in English]
- Capt. Le Boeuf: It's okay. David... can English.
- Brian MacDuff: [doesn't understand]
- Capt. Le Boeuf: He can English. He can...
- Brian MacDuff: [gets it] Oh! Okay!
- Capt. Le Boeuf: [continues in broken English] So, uh - we thought it would be good, uh - hopititit... it was a good...
- Brian MacDuff: Opportunity.
- Capt. Le Boeuf: It was a good... hopportunity to...
- Martin Ward: [in French] You may speak French, Captain.
- Capt. Le Boeuf: [French] Ah, for fuck's sake...