A profoundly unsatisfying experience - and that doesn't consider the derivative nature of the plot and a lackluster performance by the lead actor.
40
Variety
Variety
The Vampire's Assistant is too busy making impossible claims about just how spectacular its sequels will be to serve up a self-contained story with a satisfying finale.
40
Village Voice
Village Voice
Directed by Paul Weitz (American Pie), the movie suffers from the same tonal schizophrenia of that other recent goth wannabe, "Jennifer's Body": Is it meant to be scary or funny? Oops, it's neither.
Vampirism is the new monstrosity du jour, and with Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant, tweener boys get their own testosterone-infused variant of Twilight.
40
The Hollywood ReporterKirk Honeycutt
The Hollywood ReporterKirk Honeycutt
Making a vampire movie without any bite is like removing guns from a Western.
38
Chicago Sun-TimesRoger Ebert
Chicago Sun-TimesRoger Ebert
The movie has good special effects and suitably gruesome characters, but it's bloodless.
33
Entertainment WeeklyLisa Schwarzbaum
Entertainment WeeklyLisa Schwarzbaum
Subplots go nowhere, and characters -- many played by well-known actors -- barely get screen time. Willem Dafoe, Salma Hayek, and Jane Krakowski are among those who are there and gone.