Superhero Movie (2008)

Miles Fisher: Tom Cruise

Quotes 

• Tom Cruise : [clapping with each syllable to emphasize his point]  Old MacDonald had a farm and Bingo was his name - o.

• Tom Cruise : [extended, deleted Tom Cruise scene]  Y'know, uh, this "hero", this, uh, this "Dragonfly"... he's not the answer, okay? I'm the answer. I got, uh, I'm just... whew. Y'know, and, uh... heh. I'm... I'm the way to, to happiness. Okay? I'm the way to, I'm the way to peace. I can, I can, uh, I can unite cultures. I can eat... planets. I mean, I can just, um,

  [snaps fingers; laughs] 

  Tom Cruise : Dragonfly's not a superhero, okay?

  [laughs] 

  Tom Cruise : I am.

  [laughs; claps] 

  Tom Cruise : Guy can't even fly, you kiddin'?

  [laughs; abruptly stops] 

  Tom Cruise : I can fly, okay? I can fly. He sees an accident, he's just gonna run by. I'm gonna STOP, 'cause I'm a hero. Now today, there aren't a lot of accidents, so you gotta make accidents. I like to throw... little nails in the street, and an accident happens. And I'm the ONLY one who can run up there and stop it. Ooh! BAM!

  [laughs; claps] 

  Tom Cruise : [off-screen interviewer: "I just wanted to ask you-"]  Stop. Just shut up. Shut up. Hey!

  ["There's a rumor about-"] 

  Tom Cruise : Hey-

  ["That you wanted to-"] 

  Tom Cruise : Stop.

  ["You did claim, however-"] 

  Tom Cruise : Stop.

  ["Okay, but you did say, you agreed to be here, and you said that you would talk about this-"] 

  Tom Cruise : Shut. Up.

  [facing backwards] 

  Tom Cruise : What is this place? Seriously... why are there no clocks in here?

  [suddenly asleep] 

  Tom Cruise : [off-screen interviewer asks, "Tom? Tom?"] 

  [suddenly awake] 

  Tom Cruise : There was a farm who had a dog, and Bingo was his name-O! YEAH!

  [laughs] 

  Tom Cruise : I'm, uh, I'm okay.