Mean Girls (2004)
Daniel Franzese: Damian
Photos
Quotes
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Crying Girl : [reading from paper] I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
[about to cry]
Damian : [shouting from back] She doesn't even go here!
Ms. Norbury : Do you even go to this school?
Crying Girl : No... I just have a lot of feelings...
Ms. Norbury : Ok go home...
[girl walks off stage]
Ms. Norbury : Next!
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Ms. Norbury : [after implying that an elderly biker is her boyfriend] I'm kidding. Sometimes older people make jokes too.
Damian : My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.
Ms. Norbury : Your grandmother and I have that in common.
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Cady : Oh, god.
Janis : You dirty little liar!
Cady : I'm sorry, I can explain.
Janis : Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party?
Damian : Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.
Cady : You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be plastic.
Janis : Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.
Damian : Curfew, 1:00 AM, it is now 1:10.
Janis : Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?
Cady : You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge!
Janis : God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! You try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!"
Cady : You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!
Janis : What?
Damian : Oh, no, she did not!
Janis : See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize.
[Damian drives away with Janis, yelling out the window]
Damian : And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!
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[Damien is in the Girl's Bathroom]
Short Girl : Hey, get out of here.
Damian : Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!
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Janis : That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.
Damian : She asked me how to spell orange.
[Cady snickers]
Janis : That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian : She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.
Janis : Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian : That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
Janis : And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.
Damian : She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.
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Joan the Secretary : And finally, the nominees for 'Spring Fling Queen'! Regina George...
[class applauds]
Joan the Secretary : Gretchen Weiners.
[class applauds and Gretchen responds breathlessly]
Joan the Secretary : Janis Ian.
[class applauds]
Regina : [confused] What is happening to the world?
Janis : Damien!
[Janis shoves Damien]
Damian : I couldn't help myself!
Joan the Secretary : And finally, Cady Heron!
[class applauds]
Cady : Damien? You put me in there, too? That's not part of the plan!
Damian : I didn't put you in there...
Cady : [surprised] You mean I'm really nominated?
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Damian : She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen.
Janis : Who cares?
Damian : I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care.
Janis : Wow, Damian, you've truely out-gayed yourself.
[Cady laughs]
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[last lines]
Cady : [voiceover] Finally, Girl World was at peace.
Damian : Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
Cady : [voiceover] And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it.
[Imagines Junior Plastics being hit by a bus]
Cady : [voiceover] Just kidding.
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Damian : She doesn't even go here!
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Damian : [escorting Cady down the hall] Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!
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Damian : You can't join Mathletes, it's social suicide!
Ms. Norbury : Thanks, Damian.
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Damian : My nanna takes her wig off when she is drunk.
Ms. Norbury : Your nanna and I have that in common.
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Damian : Good news, they didn't get run over... Bad news, they're still flat.
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Damian : She's fabulous, but she's evil.
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Aaron Samuels : [to Cady] Hey. I didn't think you'd make it.
[gives her a gift certificates]
Aaron Samuels : On behalf of the senior class, I'd like to present you with two gift certificates...
Janis : [snatches one] Thanks sucker.
Damian : Yo, peace.
Aaron Samuels : One gift certificate to the Walker Brothers Pancake House.
Cady : Thank you.
[they started dancing]
Aaron Samuels : Congratulations on winning state.
Cady : I was so nervous. They made us do limits. I thought I was gonna hurl.
Aaron Samuels : How's your stomach now?
Cady : It's fine.
Aaron Samuels : Do you feel nauseous at all?
Cady : No.
Aaron Samuels : Have you been drinking?
Cady : [chuckles] No.
Aaron Samuels : Okay. Grool.
[they kiss]
