Team America: World Police (2004)

Fred Tatasciore: Samuel L. Jackson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gary Johnston : Wait! Hold on! Spottswoode, I think we just found the entrance to the theater! Have Sarah and Joe lock on to...

  Gary Johnston : [he's kicked in the face and falls away backwards]  Oof!

  Tim Robbins : [drops down from the ceiling]  GRRRRR!

  Chris : Gary!

  [Martin Sheen knocks him out with a wrench] 

  Tim Robbins : [shouts]  Actors Ho!

  Helen Hunt : Helen Hunt!

  Samuel L. Jackson : Samuel Jackson!

  Matt Damon : Matt Damon!

  [a bit slurred, like a speech impediment. Gary gets up, only to be kicked in the face by Samuel Jackson] 

  Samuel L. Jackson : Motherfucker!

  [Helen Hunt kicks Chris in the face] 

  Spottswoode : Gary, Chris, come in!

  [no response] 

• [Chris is fighting Samuel L. Jackson] 

  Samuel L. Jackson : Stop tryin' to hit me and hit me!

• Helen Hunt : I'm... Helen Hunt!

  Samuel L. Jackson : Samuel L. Jackson!

  Matt Damon : [stupidly]  Mmmaaattt Dammmmmooonnnn!

• Samuel L. Jackson : Motha Fucka!

• [Backstage. Alec Baldwin paces the floor] 

  A Page : Five minutes, Mr. Baldwin!

  Alec Baldwin : Thank you.

  [Tim Robbins and Martin Sheen rush in] 

  Martin Sheen : Alec! We have a problem!

  Tim Robbins : Team America escaped!

  Alec Baldwin : WHAT? You FOOLS! They'll ruin everything!

  Helen Hunt : We'd better warn everyone; they'll be headed here!

  Alec Baldwin : No! We can't look weak and powerless! If violence is all those bastards understand, then violence they'll get! EVERY ACTOR GRAB A GUN AND KEEP TEAM AMERICA FROM REACHING THIS CEREMONY AT ALL COSTS!

  Sean Penn : K'PLA!

  Janeane Garofolo , Liv Tyler , Samuel L. Jackson , George Clooney : K'PLA!

  Tim Robbins : [slowly, with determination]  I swear, they won't reach this stage!