Die, Mommie, Die! (2003)
Natasha Lyonne: Edith Sussman
Photos
Quotes
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Edith Sussman : What kind of a crazy world is this? My father's dead and my mother's gigolo shows up ready for some hot action!
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Edith Sussman : I always knew Mother was nothing more than a cheap, hopped-up nymphomaniac.
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Tony Parker : Why do you hate your mother so?
Edith Sussman : I hate her because she's a money-grubbing selfish bitch who ruined my father's life, and a promiscuous slut who spends all my father's hard-earned money on trash like you!
Tony Parker : That's not good enough.
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Tony Parker : [Tony and Edith are now in the pool. Tony hugs Edith tightly] Edie - lovely, smooth, sweet Edie. I want to know everything about you: your favorite color, your favorite movie star... do you think your mother killed your father?
Edith Sussman : Canary yellow, Carole Lynley, and yes, I know she did it but I can't prove a thing... Oh! Tony, I think you just broke my hymen...
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Angela Arden : Sweetie? Sweetie, these angels need to be walked.
Edith Sussman : Translation: Get the hell out of here so I could be shrew to your father in private.
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Edith Sussman : You seem so sad and tired since you got back from Spain. What's wrong, daddy? You can tell me. We're soul mates.
Sol Sussman : Well, then I'll confide in you. It's just this God-awful constipation. Before I go to sleep I'm supposed to take a suppository. Well, nobody ever said it was gonna' be easy being an old Jew.
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Sol Sussman : Never forget that you're half Sussman. And the other half, that strange, Canadian goyish of flotsam... that, you can dismiss.
Edith Sussman : It's your blood that I'm proud of.
Sol Sussman : You are my daughter, my immortality. What is our motto?
Edith Sussman : Make it big... give it Class... and leave 'em with a message!
Sol Sussman : Yeah!
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Angela Arden : You know, I Magnin is having a sale on go-go boots. We could make a day of it.
Edith Sussman : Go-go boots? They're about as ancient as a hoop skirt.
Angela Arden : Then I could use your able assistance as a fashion consultant.
Edith Sussman : Well, my first bit of advice, mother, would be to cancel your next face lift, and start acting your age.
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Edith Sussman : [Edith is sitting at the poolside, mourning the passing of her father. Tony Parker shows up] How dare you show your face in this house less than 24 hours after my father's death?
Tony Parker : Sorry you feel that way, Edie. But perhaps... I can be of some comfort to your mother.
Edith Sussman : Well I'm afraid you can't. Mother's out with my brother Lance. He's helping her adjust to her new widowhood.
[Scene briefly changes to show Lance on his motorcycle, Angela on the back, whooping and laughing it up]
Edith Sussman : - What kind of a crazy world is this? My father's dead, and my mother's gigolo shows up, ready for some hot action?
Tony Parker : I suppose I deserved that. Would you believe, the last thing I wanted to do was betray your father?
Edith Sussman : [Sarcastically] Oh... like REALLY!
Tony Parker : I don't ask your forgiveness... it's almost as if I didn't have a choice. Your mother is a sorceress. She casts a hypnotic spell over a man. You possess that same magic, Edie.
Edith Sussman : I do?
[Tony looks at her and nods]
Edith Sussman : No... you're not to be trusted!
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Tony Parker : I heard your father died of a massive heart attack.
Edith Sussman : So they said. But there's something not right about it.
Tony Parker : Being a man of the world, I have friends in interesting places. Mind if I... do a little leg work?
Edith Sussman : Yeah, sure... But I thought you were under mother's spell?
Tony Parker : Haven't you heard? There's a new witch in town.
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Angela Arden : [Back at the house: Angela has just kicked Tony Parker out. Lance and Edith sit nearby] And that goes for all of you. I'm clearin' out the dead wood.
Angela Arden : [She pauses to pour herself a large tumbler of bourbon] This is as good a time as any to announce that I'm selling the house to the first bidder.
Edith Sussman : You wouldn't!
Angela Arden : Edith, I don't want to hear a word about it. I am sick and tired of living my life for others. This is a time for Angela Arden. This time it's for me, for Me, for ME!
Lance Sussman : But mother...
Angela Arden : [Ignoring Edith's and Lance's protests] I hate this house, I hate these walls, I hate that sofa... The only part of this dump that doesn't make me puke is that door, because that's the way I'm gettin' out.
Edith Sussman : You can't sell this house.
Angela Arden : I'm bringing down these walls around us. To quote the kids in the ghetto, "Burn, baby, burn!"
[She tosses her tumbler of bourbon into the fire: a large plume of fire flashes up]
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Lance Sussman : [With Edith at a table in a diner] Edie, aren't you gonna' eat your cole slaw?
Edith Sussman : It's time you faced the truth: our mother murdered our father.
Lance Sussman : Hold the coleslaw...
Edith Sussman : She poisoned him.
Lance Sussman : He died of a heart attack.
Edith Sussman : Oh, many rich old men that die of heart attacks are really the victims of arsenic poisoning. Tony told me so.
Lance Sussman : When did he tell you that?
Edith Sussman : It doesn't matter.
Lance Sussman : Well, Bootsie told me she was with the coroner when he performed the autopsy. There was no trace of arsenic in his stomach.
Edith Sussman : What if mother was clever and found another way to slip him the arsenic? A method devised to bypass the digestive track?
Lance Sussman : I'm confused...
Edith Sussman : The night daddy died he was complaining of constipation. The doctor prescribed a powerful suppository. Suppose mother found a way of tampering with the laxative?
Edith Sussman : I don't believe it.
Edith Sussman : You are Sol Sussman's only son. It's up to you to avenge his death!
Lance Sussman : What do you want me to do?
Edith Sussman : Kill mother!
Lance Sussman : No!
[Lance jumps up and runs out]
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Edith Sussman : [In a public bathroom: Lance has taken cover in one of the stalls, while Edith is in the outer part of the bathroom, trying to find him and talk to him] Lance, why can't you accept the fact that mother is a murderess and a whore?
Edith Sussman : [Apparently Edith has been talking to the wrong stall: an unknown man comes out, causing Edith to walk further down the row, looking underneath each stall for a sign of Lance] Lance... it's no use hiding from me OR the truth. Lance!
Lance Sussman : Leave me alone! I'm not listening to you.
Edith Sussman : You will listen!
Lance Sussman : Leave me alone. My head... it's pounding, pounding.
Edith Sussman : Yes, it's pounding. Sometimes it feels like there's an atom bomb inside your head that's waitin' to go "pow!"
Lance Sussman : Get OUT of here!
Edith Sussman : It's time you heard the truth. Daddy said it was the drugs. The pill-popping that mother did during the pregnancy that made you the way you are.
Lance Sussman : Leave me alone.
Edith Sussman : [Lance and Edith are now over at the sink area, where Lance splashes his face with water] There was something wrong with your brain. Made you a little "slow." Made it hard for you to understand things.
Lance Sussman : [Confused] What?
Edith Sussman : Don't you see? It's not your fault, it's HERS... because mom was so selfish and evil that she wouldn't give up her precious sleeping pills.
Edith Sussman : [Unknown man approaches sink area; Edith snarls at him] Fuck off!
Edith Sussman : Lance, she destroyed you. She turned your brains into mush. Into creamed spinach.
Lance Sussman : She didn't... It's not true! YOU'RE the bitch! YOU'RE the one I'd like to kill!
[Lance runs from the restroom]