Die Another Day (2002)

John Cleese: Q

Photos 

Quotes 

• James Bond : You must be joking.

  Q : As I learned from my predecessor, Bond, I never joke about my work.

• [Q and Bond enter Q's office as Bond looks around at the vast array of devices left over from previous cases] 

  James Bond : So, this is where they keep the old relics, then, eh?

  Q : I'll have you know our TOP cutting-edge technology is designed here.

  James Bond : [releasing the knife from the briefcase used in the From Russia With Love affair and fingering a blade]  Point taken...

  Q : Must you touch everything?

  James Bond : [seeing his Thunderball jet pack]  Hey, does this still work?

  [James activates the jet pack, and Q struggles to subdue it] 

  Q : Now look...

  James Bond : [holding up the knife-studded shoe worn by Rosa Klebb years ago]  So where is this cutting-edge stuff?

  Q : I'm trying to get to it.

• Miss Moneypenny : [Moneypenny is typing a disinformative newspaper report in her office, when 007 walks in]  James!

  James Bond : Moneypenny.

  [Bond and Moneypenny embrace and kiss. Bond lays Moneypenny out on her desk] 

  Miss Moneypenny : Oh, James...

  [Continue kissing, when all of a sudden...] 

  Q : [walking in]  Moneypenny?

  [Moneypenny sits up abruptly and removes a pair of virtual reality simulation centre glasses] 

  Miss Moneypenny : Um... I was... um... just testing it out.

  [She blushes and buttons her blouse] 

  Q : Oh, it's rather hard, isn't it?

  Miss Moneypenny : Yes... very...

• James Bond : Check the tape. You'll find he's dead and she only has a flesh wound.

  Q : There's always an excuse, isn't there, Double-O-Zero?

• James Bond : You know, you're cleverer than you look.

  Q : Still, better than looking cleverer than you are.

• Q : [Explaining the Aston Martin]  ... Your new transportation

  [nothing visible on the platform] 

  James Bond : I think you've been down here too long...

• Q : Now, a new watch. This should be your 20th, I believe.

  James Bond : How time flies.

  Q : Yes, well 007, why don't you establish a record by actually returning this one.

• James Bond : Give me the old fashioned target range, Quartermaster.

  Q : Yes, well, it's called the future, so get used to it.

• Q : I wish I could make you vanish.

• Q : [Explaining to Bond his new "adaptive camouflage" Aston Martin]  To the casual eye, it's as good as invisible. Plus all the usual refinements: eject seat torpedoes, target seeking shotguns to shoot down mobile objects.

• Q : [after a virtual reality shootout exercise]  Forgive my mentioning 007 but a perfect marksman isn't really supposed to shoot his own boss.

  James Bond : Check the replay. You'll find he's dead and she's only got a flesh wound.

  Q : There's always an excuse, isn't there, 00-zero.