- The Prospector: Stranger! Howdy stranger. We need your help, Mad Dog McCree's gang have taken over the town. The Mayor and his daughter have been taken hostage up at Mad Dog's hideout and the Sheriff's been locked up in jail, we're gonna have to get him out to help with the gang. Can you help? Good.
- Undertaker: You better work on your sharp shooting, stranger. You've only got two lives left.
- Undertaker: Some people were born lucky. You better get lucky, or you'll be dead. You've only got one live left.
- Undertaker: [after you lose all your lives] Looks like the good old boy has seen his last gun fight. Time to take him to boot hill.
- The Prospector: Think you're in the middle of a hurricane now? It's time for a showdown.
- [to his donkey]
- The Prospector: Ain't it?
- Undertaker: That was a good man you shot. Population 64.
- The Prospector: That's good shooting stranger. As I was saying, you gotta get the Sheriff out of jail. The keys are with One-Eyed Jack and he's at the saloon drinking. Now go get him
- The Prospector: You've just jumped from the frying pan into the fire. You dusted Crazy Sam's brother! The crazy varment's looking for you over yonder!
- The Prospector: It's in the air. It's in the old wind that bodes no good. Mad Dog McCree and his band of cut throats riding into town. Folks here are plumb scared to death. Town's deserted. Even a tumbleweed doesn't dare blow across the streets today.
- The Prospector: These hombres are mean, vicious and quick with guns. Sure we've got a Sheriff; but what we need's a gun slinger. You headin' yourself pilgrim? You'll spray a little lead in harm's way? That'd be tricky, but we'd be forever beholing to ya. We're simple folk. But the mayor's daughter, you lay your eyes on her, you'll see what I mean. She'd be worth taking the chance for.
- [Mad Dog has the Prospector tied to a barrel of dynamite]
- The Prospector: No, no!
- Mad Dog McCree: Quiet old man!
- [He lights the fuse and leaves]
- The Prospector: MAD DOG! Shoot the fuse, shoot the fuse! Please, please shoot the fuse!
- Undertaker: That was an innocent woman you shot. Emphasis on was.
- Undertaker: I'd rather be lucky then good. You took a bad hit, but it looks like you're gonna pull through.
- Undertaker: You can't keep shooting innocent people, or there won't be any left to safe!
- Sheriff: Mad Dog! You don't stand a chance!
- The Prospector: It's showdown time stranger. We're gonna see how fast you are. You better be good, or, well that's why we've got Boothill.
- Gunman: You looking for trouble stranger?
- One-Eyed Jack: You looking at my keys, stranger? You wouldn't be trying to get the Sheriff out of jail would you? Jocko!
- Jocko: Huh?
- One-Eyed Jack: Shiw him how we do it in Tumbleweed.
- Barman: Thanks stranger, I'll be forever beholding to ya. I know you're looking for Mad-Dog. There's one thing you must remember, he wears a bullet-proof vest. Here's the keys.
- Mayor's Daughter: Oh papa!
- The Mayor: It's alright. The stranger saved us. Thank you stranger.
- Mayor's Daughter: Thank you!
- Mayor's Daughter: Hi. You're new around these parts. You headin' into my daddy's town? He's the mayor. Well, if you are, you better take some target practice first. There's a mean bunch that's showed up, and I'm scared. Well, you'd best take in the sights. I'll see you back in town.