Osmosis Jones (2001)
Chris Elliott: Bob
Photos
Quotes
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Bob : Listen. Why don't you sit her down and tell her that if anything ever happens to you, I will take care of her. Okay? I will raise her, I will nurture her, I will love her, and then when she's sixteen, I'll boot her out the door.
Frank : Sixteen?
Bob : Well, yeah. I not going to mommy her forever, okay? I mean, sixteen, sure.
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Drix : [Deleted scene, Drix and Ozzy are in an ocean of mucus] Well, this is a fine mess you've gotten us into.
Osmosis : Me? What are you talking about? You've got a lot of nerve.
Drix : Oh, don't act so innocent. When I first entered this body,
Osmosis : Uh, Drix.
Drix : I knew things would be difficult but I never imagined I would have to work...
Osmosis : Uh, Drix.
Drix : Quiet, I'm not finished!
Osmosis : Hey! Look, Drix! Look behind you! We're about to be wiped under a table!
Drix : What? Ah! Jones! Jones!
Osmosis : Give me your hand!
Drix : We're going to die!
Bob : Jeez, Frank, I'm standing right here. Can you... uh... use a tissue or something?
Frank : I don't have one.
Bob : Well, use your imagination.
Frank : What's that over there?
[Frank swallows his mucus]
Frank : Better?
Bob : Much better.
Frank : I gotta go get her.
Bob : Alright.
Frank : She'll be excited. She'll probably call you.
Bob : Good.
Drix : If it wasn't for you, none of this would have ever happened. Now, if you'll excuse me, I
[Drix is coughing]
Drix : have a nose to dry.
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Bob : Jeez, Frank, I'm standing right here. Can you use a tissue?
Frank : I don't have one.
Bob : Well, use your imagination.
Frank : What's that over there?
[Frank swallows his mucus]
Frank : Better?
Bob : Much better.
Frank : I gotta go get her.
Bob : Alright.
Frank : She'll be excited. She'll probably call you.
Bob : Good.
Drix : If it wasn't for you, none of this would have ever happened. Now, if you'll excuse me, I
[Drix is coughing]
Drix : have a nose to dry.
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Dispatcher : [Deleted scene] Suspect is headed towards the uvula. Repeat: headed towards the uvula.
Osmosis : What the hell is a uvula?
Drix : It's that little dangly hing that hangs down in Frank's...
Osmosis : Boxer shorts! Okay, here we go!
Drix : Not that little dangly thing! The one in his throat!
Osmosis : I knew that. I know that.
[the car drives off in the wrong way and towards the uvula before it felt the heartburn]
Osmosis : I know that rumble! Come on, I know a shortcut.
Drix : I don't like the sound of that. Heartburn? That sign said Heartburn!
Osmosis : Yeah, I saw what it said. I could read.
[the car went inside the throat]
Drix : That's pure stomach acid! Are you mad? We'll be killed!
Osmosis : You got a better way?
Frank : What's the opposite of... inbound?
Bob : Outbound?
[Frank belches, making Ozzy and Drix close to the uvula]
Bob : Boy. Thanks for the warning, there, Prince Charles. Frank? Are you with me? Hello? Hey.
