- Narrator: With times as tough as they are we present our formula for the cheapest form of amusement: nightmares. First you eat a real lobster, not the kind they send to congress.
- Narrator: He'd better get away from the casket or he'll be coffin.
- Narrator: Why it's Dracula, the guy who invented necking.
- Narrator: Maybe his near beer was nearer than he thought.
- Narrator: He acts like Congress and always ends up where he started.
- Narrator: He can't decide which way to go. He's like a woman automobile driver.
- Narrator: Dracula was a big cheese, so he always had mice around him.