- Jackie: They're not gonna think we're lesbians, Holly! A school teacher and a model? Those are lesbians?
- Jackie: Don't you know there's something more beautiful in this world than that thing between your legs?
- Jackie: [to Holly] Who told you to bring me that plant? I need that plant? I already got a shrub in there!
- Jackie: I was reading the obituary column today and there was this woman - you won't believe this, but... She left all of her money to a dog! Now what is her dog gonna do with all that money? We could use that.
- Jackie: What are you itching about?
- Johnny Minute: To fuck.
- Jackie: You're itching... you're itching to fuck?
- Jackie: I was gonna set you up in North Beach with an electric typewriter so it would never be hard on you again! I felt sorry for this bitch! Limping every day down Madison Avenue, they used to yell, "There goes Clubfoot Annie!"
- Jackie: I need that beer, the doctor prescribed it to calm down my nerves! Baby, stop freaking out! Calm down! Shut up!