The Stupids (1996)
Alex McKenna: Petunia Stupid
Photos
Quotes
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Buster Stupid : What if we formed our own army?
Petunia Stupid : Then we'd have to form our own country.
Joan Stupid : We could call it Stupidia.
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Stanley Stupid : I'm stuck, I'm caught, I'm trapped! Somebody help me out here!
Petunia Stupid : I'm cornered!
Stanley Stupid : That's it, I'm cornered! That's the word I'm looking for.
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Glamorous Actress : Some people think it's easy being a celebrity, but when they canceled my series "Malibu Beach Detective", I was just absolutely devastated.
[the "Applause" sign comes on and the audience applauds]
Late Night Show Host : Well, I'm sure everyone is very sympathetic for you. You've put so much work into such a fine series to have it taken off the air.
Glamorous Actress : As an artist, I was truly crushed.
[the "Applause" sign comes on again and the audience applauds]
Glamorous Actress : It was the most awful, shocking, heartbreaking thing that's ever happened to me!
[backstage, Petunia is unkowingly flipping the switch that turns the "Applause" sign on and off]
Petunia Stupid : Mom, I can't get this light switch to work.
Joan Stupid : Just a moment dear.
[she writes "Give it to the fat guy" on a blank cue card]
Joan Stupid : Now, let's take a look.
[she fiddles with the switch and the sign comes on, with audience applauding]
Glamorous Actress : Well, maybe you'd all be happier if there was no primetime television.
[Joan fiddles with the switch some more; the audience keeps applauding]
TV Director : What's going on?
Glamorous Actress : You could spend every night reading books together.
[Joan flips the switch; the audience applauds; the Glamourous Actress leaves]
Late Night Show Host : Well, my next guest is a world-class French chef, so stay tuned, everyone, and let's...
[reads from cue card which is actually a reminder note from Joan Stupid]
Late Night Show Host : Give it to the fat guy!
French Chef : Fat? Fat? Moi, fat?
[yells in French]
French Chef : [he starts shaking the host around while Joan flips the switch one last time and the audience applauds]
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[repeated line]
Petunia Stupid : Let's move.