John Kassir: The Crypt Keeper
Quotes
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Crypt Keeper : [Disfigured corpse is about to murder woman in bath] Cuuut! cutcutcutcut cut. What the hell are you doing? You call that hack-ting?
Slasher : [Disfigured corpse turns out to be an actor, and it becomes apparent that scenery is really just a movie set] Well... Yes, as a matter of fact I do call it ACTING.
Crypt Keeper : Well let me tell you something pal, you're no Gory Cooper, you aren't even a Robert Deadford. Another take like that and it'll be back to bit parts for you, and I won't say what 'bits' I'm talking about.
[stressed sigh]
Crypt Keeper : okay everyone, reset!
Slasher : Directors; where'd they dig this guy up?
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Crypt Keeper : Fasten your drool cups, and ready your vomit bags! We're going to the movies! Frights, camera, action!
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Crypt Keeper : [Ending Lines at the premiere] Ahh, the whole fang club is here! Hello, Baby-Bobby-Bubby!
[the Crypt Keeper then sees two producers with a guillotine]
Crypt Keeper : Uh, oh! I think my producers are trying to tell me something.
[Now, Crypty is locked in the guillotine]
Crypt Keeper : Well, whaddayaknow? I ask for final cut, and I got it!
[His head is cut off and rolls in the basket]
Crypt Keeper : Now, that's INTERRORTAINMENT!
[laughs manaiacally]
