- Michael 'The Suit' Minelli: Now... where is the Blankman?
- [he pours hot coffee onto Mr. Stone, who sits in a wheelchair]
- Mr. Stone: Hey, Einstein. In case you haven't noticed, this isn't a boil on my ass. I'm paralyzed from the waist down. I can't feel a thing.
- [Minelli slaps him in the face]
- Mr. Stone: I felt that.
- [after "Blankman" and "Other Guy" have broken into his lair]
- Michael 'The Suit' Minelli: Ah, Blankman. I see you've finally found someone to work with who dresses worse than you do.
- Darryl Walker: [discussing Blankman] Kevin, this is my calling. I have to make the world a safer place for my children.
- Kevin Walker: Your children? You've got to be with a *woman* first! You've got to knock some boots, man! You're a virgin.
- Darryl Walker: No, I'm a gentleman.
- Kevin Walker: Obviously this is what you need to do to work through Grandma's death. *But*... we're gonna do it my way.
- Darryl Walker: Okay, Karate Man!
- Kevin Walker: What?
- Darryl Walker: That's your crimefighter name.
- Kimberly Jonz: Is that a purse snatcher? That's a job for Blankman.
- Darryl Walker: You mean you knew?