Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Debbie Harry: Betty (segment "The Wraparound Story")

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Final scene: The timer dings and Betty is, at long last, ready to kill and prepare Timmy] 

  Betty : My goodness, you really did keep the best one for last, didn't you?

  Timmy : No, no. I've saved the really, really best story for now.

  Betty : Well, you should've told me the really, really best story before, 'cause now it's too late.

  [Betty rolls the preparation cart towards Timmy's cell] 

  Timmy : But it's the really best one of all because there's a happy ending, a really happy ending.

  [Timmy drops the book] 

  Betty : No other stories in that book have a happy ending.

  Timmy : But you gotta hear this story. It's about this kid, and his name is Timmy.

  Betty : That's nice, dear.

  Timmy : And you see, Timmy's older brother, he had this stupid paper route. And one day, Timmy's older brother got sick. Timmy had to go on collecting, and Timmy went to this one house. And this lady who answered the door, she said, "Come on in," so when he went inside, she tricked him and threw him into a pantry. She made him eat cookies all day long, 'cause she wanted him to get fat, 'cause she was gonna kill him, and cook him, and eat him!

  Betty : This is YOUR story, and you can stop telling it now because we both know how it comes out.

  Timmy : But you don't, 'cause something really weird happens.

  Betty : Oh, really?

  Timmy : Yeah.

  Timmy : [pulling out a handful of marbles from his pocket]  Uh, you see, Timmy had these marbles in his pocket. They were shiny and slippery, and when he threw them on the floor...

  Timmy : [tossing the marbles on the floor]  ... she didn't see where they went and she slipped.

  [Betty slips on the marbles and falls backside on the skewers, stabbing herself in the back; Betty screams in pain as she drops the keys whilst on the rolling prep table , rolling toward the oven] 

  Timmy : Timmy saw his chance to escape...

  [Betty, with the skewers in her back, arises from the table in pain] 

  Timmy : ...if he could just reach the keys!

  [Timmy grabs the keys, frees himself, then shoves Betty onto the huge pan and sends her into her own oven to roast alive] 

  Betty : [screaming]  Aaaaahhh! AAAAAHHH!

  [Timmy helps himself to a Shoprite Chips-A-Lot cookie] 

  Timmy : [breaks the fourth wall]  Don't you just love happy endings?

• Betty : I NEVER could do long division. Let's see, how many times does twelve go into seventy-five.

  Timmy : Oh, six times, three left over. Why?

  Betty : Well, at twelve minutes a pound, that means you have to be in the oven by no later than 1:30. Oh, but evisceration takes at least an hour.

• Betty : Of course, I'm going through a lot of trouble for a dinner party. I always go through a lot of trouble for a dinner party.

• Betty : Okay. This'll be the last story - and you have to make it quick.