- Night Clerk: Well, what about on Jupiter?
- Bellboy: At the time of his death, if he were on Jupiter, Elvis would've weighed six-hundred and forty-eight pounds.
- Night Clerk: Six-hundred and forty-eight. Damn.
- Night Clerk: [after hearing the bellboy complain about his uniform] Well, you should do like I do, shit, go over and buy your own damn clothes over at Lansky's, somewhere like that; I mean, you know it's like they say: the clothes make the man. I mean look at that damn hat on your head, you look like a damn mosquito-legged chimpanzee, I mean-
- [he abruptly breaks up]
- Mitzuko: Hi! Good night!
- Night Clerk: Good night. How may I help you?
- Mitzuko: Umm... We would like most cheap room please do you have?
- Night Clerk: All our rooms for two people are the same rate.
- Mitzuko: Oh.
- Jun: (speaking in Japanese) What'd he say?
- Mitzuko: (speaking in Japanese) I'm not exactly sure. (In English) I'm sorry, that is too expensive.
- Johnny: [sees a painting of Elvis] Why is he fucking everywhere? It's a black hotel, a black neighborhood. Black dudes workin' on the desk. You know, why don't they have a portrait of Otis Redding or Martin Luther King? Huh?
- Will Robinson (segment "Lost in Space"): That's 'cause this a white *owned* hotel. They just got the brothers workin' here.
- Johnny: Yeah, I see what you mean.
- Will Robinson (segment "Lost in Space"): Don't worry. Next time, Johnny, we gonna ask for the Malcolm X suite.
- Sun Studio Guide (segment "Far from Yokohama"): The Sun Record Company in Memphis, Tennessee, was first opened by radio announcer and record engineer Sam Phillips in the year 1952. His first objective was to record some of the *race* music that had come up from the Delta, but was being recorded up north. Sam thought - and I quote - "Well, why should they have to go up north to record it when I can record it right here?" Well, it was right here in this very room where Mr. Phillips recorded the likes of Howlin' Wolf, Rufus Thomas, Charlie Feathers, the Prisonaires, James Cotton, Johnny Cash, Billy Lee Riley, Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison, and Jerry Lee Lewis, and, of course, the king of rock and roll himself - Elvis Presley. In June 1953, this young man just graduated from Humes High School and he found his way on over to Sun Studio and recorded a song that he said was for his mom's birthday, but his mom's birthday was months away, so - anyway, Sam finally found a song he liked and he said - and I quote - "That's what I like. That's what I'm lookin' for. That's more like it. Y'all keep playin'." End quote. Well, they were excited. They got a song that was soon played on the radio by deejay Dewey Phillips in the year 1954, probably July 9 or 10. And he would have to play that song somewhere between 7 and 11 times that night. Well, the switchboard stayed lit up there. People wanted to know if he was black, if he was white. White callers would call. Black callers would call. The bottom line was the song was gonna be a hit.
- Liquor Store Clerk (segment "Lost in Space"): Hey, fella. You wanna buy that, or you gonna play with it all night?
- [to Johnny]
- Liquor Store Clerk (segment "Lost in Space"): N******, man. You gotta watch 'em every second.
- Newsvendor: Well, hello, doll. What can I do you for?
- Luisa: I would like to buy this newspaper.
- Newsvendor: Well now, you should buy this one here as well. The Tri-State Defender.
- Luisa: No, thank you. I think I need only this one.
- Newsvendor: Well, you know, you only need one leg to get around on if that's all you got. But it sure helps having two, now, doesn't it?
- Luisa: Oh, well, uh, yes. This one too.
- Newsvendor: How about some magazines?
- Night Clerk: [both stare at a plum on the counter, neither saying a thing] I don't think you should eat that thing.
- Bellboy: Yeah, you're probably right.
- Night Clerk: You gonna eat it?
- Bellboy: No, I'm not gonna eat that thing.
- [at this, the night clerk casually reaches over and eats the plum in one bite]
- Bellboy: Hey...you ate my plum!
- Night Clerk: [hearing a radio ad for seafood, disgusted at what he is hearing] "Jiffy Squid"? Turn that damn thing off! "Jiffy Squid"
- [grimaces in dislike and shakes his head]
- Jun: [after making love] Mitzuko... do women always worry about their hairstyle?
- Mitzuko: [angrily] What are you talking about? In all the times we've made love - and this is number 11 - I've never once thought about my hairstyle!
- Jun: Eleven?
- Mitzuko: And if that's what you're thinking, try shaving first next time.
- Jun: [touching his face] But I just shaved two days ago.
- Johnny aka Elvis: One bottle or two?
- Charlie the Barber: Just get one, man. I mean, you're drunk already, and I'm not gonna have any.
- Johnny aka Elvis: Right.
- Johnny aka Elvis: [to the liquor store clerk] How you doin'? Two bottles of Butcher's.
- Newsvendor: Send a letter to the congressmen. Get a petition goin' around. Get on the phone and try to get some real men in this government of ours.
- Lester (segment "A Ghost"): Mickey Mantle. Tim McCarver, President.
- Newsvendor: Sure. Now you're talkin'. Now you're talkin'. You can do it, Lester. You could organize this thing. You got some spare time, you can change history!
- Lester (segment "A Ghost"): You really think I could? Think I could get it done?
- Newsvendor: Sure is.
- Lester (segment "A Ghost"): Why don't I get it on and get out and write some letters, telegrams.
- Ed (segment "Lost in Space"): Far as your old lady leaving you - I don't know what to tell you. Why don't you go back to England or wherever the hell you come from? Ain't they got enough women over there?
- Radio DJ: Well, yes, sir, that's another classic from Mr. Roy Orbison, along with the Roses - previously known as the Teen Kings for you trivia fans - with "Domino" here. You're on the air until dawn. It's 2:17 right here in Memphis, Tennessee. Right now, here's another one recorded at Sun Studios, this time by the King himself. That's right. Mr. Elvis Presley with one of my personal early, early morning favorites, "Blue Moon. "
- Bellboy: Danger! Danger! Will Robinson! Will Robinson! - Danger! Danger!
- Will Robinson (segment "Lost in Space"): Shut the fuck up.
- Radio DJ: Oh, it's 2: 20 in the a.m. right here in Memphis. Say, do you like seafood? Well, guess what? There's a brand-new fast-food seafood restaurant right here in Memphis. You probably heard the name already. That's right - Jiffy Squid. Fresh, juicy squid.
- Charlie the Barber: Why'd you have to kill him?
- Johnny: Shut up, Charlie. I only winged him.
- Will Robinson (segment "Lost in Space"): Goddamn it, Johnny!
- Charlie the Barber: You're stupid, Johnny. And what if you did kill that guy? We all go to prison.
- Johnny: I didn't kill the guy.
- Charlie the Barber: Jeannie's gonna kill me. What are you laughin' at, huh?
- Charlie the Barber: Hey, Will. You know, until that - that bellboy was teasing you, it never occurred to me. You're Will Robinson! You know, just like that kid on the "Lost in Space" show.
- Will Robinson (segment "Lost in Space"): No shit, Einstein.
- Will Robinson (segment "Lost in Space"): That's how I feel in this place, with you two fuckin' snowflakes, hidin' in this place. Lost in space! Shit.
- Johnny: You gonna start that racist shit again? It ain't our fault. We didn't choose to be white. Right, Charlie?
- Charlie the Barber: Yeah. I mean, no.
- Johnny: What's the Lost in Space show?
- Charlie the Barber: Oh, man, it was this - they had - you didn't have that on television in England? Great show.
- Will Robinson (segment "Lost in Space"): It was a really stupid show! With these dumb white people marooned on another planet, with this robot that kept sayin', "Danger, Will Robinson!" And this fruity professor or somebody.
- Charlie the Barber: Dr. Smith.
- Will Robinson (segment "Lost in Space"): Yeah. Dr. Smith. And June Lockhart was on it. You know. Lassie's mother. Anyway, it was this family - the Robinsons. Get it? Like Robinson Crusoe?
- Charlie the Barber: Hey, Will, what's this chain for?
- Will Robinson (segment "Lost in Space"): That's 'cause, you in the kinky sex room, Charlie.
- Charlie the Barber: Really?