Tapeheads (1988)
John Cusack: Ivan Alexeev
Photos
Quotes
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Josh Tager : Look, Ivan... I hope you're not putting too much faith in me. I don't even know if I...
Ivan Alexeev : "IF"? Instant Failure! "FEAR" - False Evidence Appearing Real! We've talked about this!
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Ivan Alexeev : You look ravishing and I'd like to chew on your thighs.
Samantha Gregory : I thought we had a professional relationship.
Ivan Alexeev : So I'll pay.
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Ivan Alexeev : Josh, losing those jobs is the best thing that ever happened to us! We're free to pursue our destiny!
Josh Tager : What, abysmal failure?
Ivan Alexeev : Negativity festers in you, man!
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Mo Fuzz : Am I crying?
Ivan Alexeev , Josh Tager : No.
Mo Fuzz : Well I wouldn't be surprised if I was!
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Mo Fuzz : All this video is missing is production values.
Ivan Alexeev , Josh Tager : Production values?
Mo Fuzz : Yeah. Tits and ass.
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Josh Tager : How long do we stave off the inevitable?
Ivan Alexeev : Til they wrench the blood from our bloody hands.
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[Ivan & Josh explain their tardiness to their security boss]
Ivan : Anybody else who'd save Pablo Casales - perhaps the greatest cellist in the world with the possible exception of Yo-Yo Ma - from a fiery car wreck on Sunset Boulevard would be bragging about it, but not Josh. He didn't want to spoil the 11 o'clock news for you.
Norton : Don't bullshit me. I'm a big cello fan! Casales died years ago!
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[watching a music video]
Josh Tager : Stupid. Inane. Vapid. Mind-rot. Stench. Pabulum.
Ivan Alexeev : Yeah, it's all right!
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[after being "HA!"-ed]
Ivan Alexeev : I'm gonna make him eat that syllable.
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Ivan Alexeev : You know, Josh, in primitive societies, after they sever the umbilical cord, they eat the placenta in a ritualistic ceremony.
[bites into a burger]
Ivan Alexeev : Want a bite?
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Belinda Mart : Ivan, why aren't you helping Josh set up the equipment?
Ivan Alexeev : He's an artist. He's hands-on. You know what I do? I use my selling techniques to give my artist friend the personal freedom he needs. Freedom, choices, possibilities. That's what I'm about. The boring administrative stuff, you know? I envy him.
[beat]
Ivan Alexeev : Can you get me another drink?
Belinda Mart : Sure.
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Ivan Alexeev : It's product placement, man. Backbone of music videos.
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Ivan Alexeev : [to Josh] Negativity festers in you, man!