Action Jackson (1988)
Roger Aaron Brown: Officer Lack
Photos
Quotes
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Officer Kornblau : It was a regular fuck-o-rama at my place last night.
Officer Lack : Can the shit, Kornblau. There ain't been any pussy at your pad since your mother helped you move in. They oughta call your place the House of Whacks.
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Officer Kornblau : So what's your name?
Albert : A-Albert. A-Albert Smith.
Officer Lack : Albert, your mother and father weren't by any chance brother and sister, were they?
Albert : Hey man, what's gon' happen to me?
Officer Kornblau : Oh, nothing. Uh, wel-nothing much, uh... you might have to endure a little session with, uh, Action Jackson.
Albert : Wh-who's Axon...?
Officer Lack : *Action*, Albert. *Action Jackson*.
Officer Kornblau : Yeah, some say he didn't even have a mother. That some researchers at NASA created him to be the first man to walk on the moon without a space suit.
Officer Lack : Mm-hmm.
Officer Kornblau : Others say his mother was molested by Bigfoot and, uh, Jackson is their mutant offspring.
Officer Lack : They bring in Jackson when they want to re-educate some young ne'er-do-well such as yourself, Albert.
Officer Kornblau : Yeah, I remember one kid got re-educated so bad, his testicles climbed back up into his belly. Wouldn't come out.
Officer Lack : They called it a medical miracle.
Officer Kornblau : Yeah. Another kid, handcuffed to a chair; gnawed his own hand off like a trapped skunk, or wolverine, or somethin'.
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Officer Lack : Have you ever had your head forcibly rammed up your ass?
Officer Kornblau : uh, no
Officer Lack : Well mark your calendar...that day's coming!