- Professor Banks: You've learned something I can't teach them. You've learned what it feels like to be black.
- Mark: No sir.
- Professor Banks: Beg your pardon?
- Mark: I don't really know what it feels like sir. If I didn't like it, I could always get out. It's not the same sir.
- Professor Banks: You've learned a great deal more than I thought.
- Professor Banks: Mr. Watson, I am not a humorless man, but if you insist on taking up my class time making jokes, please see to it that they are funny.
- Professor Banks: I understand you are allowed one phone call from jail?
- Mark Watson: Yes.
- Professor Banks: Next time you get arrested, use it to call me. I'll bring you your books. You can study in jail.
- Mark Watson: What's happening, brother? Get down, get down. Looking good, mamma, looking good. Well, I gots to be going now!
- Mark Watson: She told me they have support for people whose parents are poor, but not for those whose parents are assholes.
- Professor Banks: Some of you may have had easy lives up until now. Some of you may not. Life this semester won't be *easy* for any of you. Your grades in your first year of law school can determine your entire future in the law.
- Mark Watson: I got the money, Brad.
- Brad Small: Oh? How?
- Mark Watson: Where there's a will, there's a way...
- Brad Small: Yeah? And what's your way?
- Mark Watson: It's a SECRET way.
- Gordon Bloomfeld: A secret way...
- Brad Small: Well thats great Mark-o, but just in case your "secret way" falls through, feel free to look me up! Thanks for the cocktail Gordon...
- Mark Watson: You didn't believe me, do ya? You don't believe me! Well the joke's on you sucker, because I'm going to Harvard and DON'T CALL ME A LIAR! That asshole thinks I'm lying!
- Gordon Bloomfeld: Mark! You ARE lying...
- Mark Watson: With all due respect, sir, I just spent 18 hours locked in a jail cell, on no formal charges, getting pulverized by drunken bigots!
- Professor Banks: If you've had some sort of accident, Mr Watson, perhaps you should have taken the entire day off.
- Mark: Oh. I'm fine. I just got in sort of a fight. I mean, it wasn't my fault! You see they threw me in this cell with these real ass - - some extremely unsportsman-like fellows.
- Gordon Bloomfeld: Objection!
- Professor Banks: To what?
- Gordon Bloomfeld: Quite frankly, to your tone of voice.
- Gordon Bloomfeld: A black Negro? He never told me he was a black Negro. Thank you. Boy, just when you think you get to know somebody. I'm gonna go confront him with this information right now. Wow... Mark... a black Negro!
- Whitney Dunbar: That was incredible, Mark! I mean... it was like... I could really feel 400 years of oppression and anger in every pelvic thrust! I hope you don't mind if I use bits of this interlude in a short story I'm working on.
- Mark: Well...
- Whitney Dunbar: Wait! It's called "Shades of Gray", because, you know, I really don't feel like there's any black or white; only shades of gray. Well, like the stereotypes about black men. Some of them are true, like the breast thing, and, well, you really are dynamic sexually. But, then of course, some of the stereotypes are completely untrue.
- Mark: Yeah? Like what?
- Whitney Dunbar: Well, like the one about penis size.