Howard the Duck (1986)
Lea Thompson: Beverly Switzler
Photos
Quotes
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[Together in bed, Beverly seducing Howard]
Howard T. Duck : [flustered] I've got a headache...
Beverly : And I've got the aspirin!
Howard T. Duck : Be gentle.
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Howard T. Duck : I've given up trying to assimilate. I've got to get back to my own kind!
[notices Beverly's behind as he watches her crawl across the top of her bed in her underwear]
Howard T. Duck : Althoooooough... I HAVE developed a greater appreciation for the female version of the human anatomy... ARROOOOO!
Beverly : Howard, you really are the worst!
Howard T. Duck : He-he!
Beverly : Come on, let's watch David Letterman. Come on!
[Pats the bed]
Howard T. Duck : Okie-dookie.
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Beverly : I was worried about you. I missed you.
Howard T. Duck : Well, sex appeal. Some guys got it - and some guys don't.
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Dr. Jenning : It feels like something inside me, gnawing at my guts... what's wrong with me?
Beverly : Well... what did you have for lunch?
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Howard T. Duck : Bev, I am not a real sentimental guy.
Beverly : No. I bet you were born from a very hard-boiled egg, Duckie.
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[last lines]
Howard T. Duck : Not bad for a duck from outer space.
Beverly : You were great, Duckie!
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Beverly : You got some place to go?
Howard T. Duck : Hey, if I had some place to go I certainly wouldn't be in 'Cleve-Land'.
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Beverly : I don't know where you are now, but I hope you're happier there. This world didn't treat you very good, but you saved it, didn't you?
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Beverly : I'm sorry I'm so nervous. It's just that I've never been around a... Um, I mean, I've never even had any pets or anything, you know. They seem like such a hassle - you know, feeding 'em, cleaning up their little poo-poos, and...
Howard T. Duck : I'll try to be careful.
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Beverly : Hiya, Duckie.
Howard T. Duck : Hi, Tootse.
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Howard T. Duck : What is this place?
Beverly : Uh... Cleveland?
Howard T. Duck : Cleve-Land? U-huh. That's a perfect weird name for this planet.
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Dr. Jenning : [at the diner, as the Dark Overlord] I have disguised my true form, which would be considered... hideous and revolting, here.
Beverly : Lucky for the people eating.
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Beverly : Make yourself at home.
Howard T. Duck : Make myself at home? I wish.
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Beverly : Excuse me, are you in charge here?
Lieutenant Welker : Yeah, why?
Beverly : Well, I want to know why they're harassing Howard.
Lieutenant Welker : Who's Howard?
Beverly : He had nothing to do with it. Howard, Howard is just an innocent, um...
Lieutenant Welker : "Thing"?
Beverly : No. Duck.
Lieutenant Welker : Just an innocent duck?
[Beverly nods]
Lieutenant Welker : [to Officer Hanson] No wonder why I'm asking for early retirement.
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Dr. Jenning : I told you, bird-brain, I am not Jenning anymore! I am now one of the Dark Overlords of the Universe.
Beverly : Hmm, Dark Overlord of the Universe?
Howard T. Duck : That must be quite a responsibility.
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Beverly : What am I gonna do with you, Duckie?
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Beverly : I just can't seem to find the right man.
Howard T. Duck : Maybe it's not a man you should be looking for.
Beverly : Ah, you think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, Duckie?
Howard T. Duck : Like they say, Doll, love's strange. We could always give it a try.
Beverly : Okay, let's go for it Mr. Macho.
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Beverly : [to Howard as they lie in bed together] I just can't resist your intense animal magnetism.
[the feathers on the top of Howard's head stick straight up]
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Beverly : [Picks up a handful of feathers] What's this in my bed?
Howard T. Duck : Ah, souvenirs?
Beverly : I'm gonna miss you a lot, Duckie.
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Beverly : Put him down! Howard may be a duck, but you people are animals! He's my boyfriend!
3rd Trucker : That's disgusting!
Beverly : You don't make me proud to be a human!
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Beverly : Listen, would you like something to eat or drink? Milk? I could put it in a bowl?
Howard T. Duck : Doll, I don't drink out of bowls. Do you gotta beer?
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Beverly : If that's the way you want it! Then, so long, Duckie!
Howard T. Duck : Don't shed any tears over me, Tootse!
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Beverly : You play pretty good.
Howard T. Duck : I had a group in high school: Howard and the Heartbreakers.
Beverly : Oh, heavy, Howard. Very heavy. Maybe you should be our manager. Wait a second. Maybe you're just the kind of bizarro influence we need!
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Beverly : Book 'em, duck-o.
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Beverly : Okay. Alright. Turn me into a dark overlord. I'll still spit in your wormy face!
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Beverly : He's my favorite duck.
Dr. Jenning : You hardly know him.
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Howard T. Duck : Aren't you going to see me off?
Beverly : Sure I am. I just hope they let you take a carry-on bag. Look, I'm gonna put in these polaroids that we took at the club.
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Phil Blumburtt : I've already got a theory.
Beverly : What theory?
Phil Blumburtt : Well, this is, of course, the evolutionary ladder showing how man progressed from monkey to me, for instance.
Howard T. Duck : You consider that progress? Jeez, you're all hairless apes? That's really disgusting.
Phil Blumburtt : Now, I want you both to imagine, somewhere in the universe, is Howard's world. Picture it, in your mind, a world almost exactly like ours except the progenitor of the dominant species was not a monkey - but, a duck!
Howard T. Duck : Sound theory. Every school duck knows this stuff!
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Phil Blumburtt : [With Beverly in tow, a depressed Howard exits the museum where Phil works] ... Beverly! Howard, wait! Come on, don't flutter off in a huff. Listen, I've got some important matters to clean up here...
Dr. Chapin : [from back in the museum] Blumburtt! Did you hear what I said?
Phil Blumburtt : ...I'll call you tonight.
Dr. Chapin : Blumburtt, I want you back in here! Now!
Phil Blumburtt : I'll figure out a way to help Howard, I swear. Just don't show him to anybody else...
Howard T. Duck : I understand, Phil; it's the thought that counts...
[notices a young couple on the street]
Howard T. Duck : ... They look hungry; get 'em a banana.
Phil Blumburtt : Hide him, Beverly! Take him to a movie or something!
Howard T. Duck : That sounds like an idea. What's playing?
Beverly : Look, Howard, I didn't know where else to go for help.
Howard T. Duck : Your hand still beats mine; I'm not sure where to go, period.
Dr. Chapin : BLUMBURTT! WHERE ARE YOU? INSIDE!
Phil Blumburtt : Coming, coming!
Beverly : Howard, are you sure you're okay?
Howard T. Duck : Of course; why shouldn't I be? I only got blasted jillions of miles through space, ended up on another planet, and was just given an IQ test by a janitor. Hasn't everybody had at least one day like that?
Beverly : Look, you may be trapped in a world you never made; but, to put it philosophically, who isn't? Heck, *I* didn't make this world either. If I had, my whole career wouldn't be falling apart.
Howard T. Duck : ...Touche, Bev. How's this for a deal: I fix your career, you fix my life. Sound fair?
[several children laughingly rush Howard, with their Teacher in tow]
Teacher : Look at this wonderful exhibit!
Howard T. Duck : EXHIBIT? Nice. For a minute, I thought you were gonna call me a freak or an outcast... like in *The Elephant Duck*! Now THERE was a downer.
Teacher : It's so lifelike and realistic.
Howard T. Duck : I cannot begin to tell you how right-at-home that makes me feel.
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Beverly : You're gonna just sit there?
Dr. Jenning : She took my eggs.