Twice Upon a Time (1983)
James Cranna: Rod Rescueman, Scuzzbopper, Frivoli Foreman, Rusher of Din - Street Preacher
Quotes
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Flora : Uncle Greenie, where are you?
Greensleeves : Under the door, ya twit!
Rod Rescueman : That's a pretty stupid place to be when people are knocking doors down!
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Rod Rescueman : [Flying in with fanfare] Hello.
The Fairy Godmother : Yes, who are you?
Rod Rescueman : My name is Rod Rescueman.
The Fairy Godmother : And what do I learn from that?
Rod Rescueman : My name.
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Rod Rescueman : I'm a super hero!
Fairy Godmother : You're kidding
Rod Rescueman : I'm actually not a full fledged one, I'm on my learner's permit but that's almost as good.
Fairy Godmother : You have a resume, perhaps I could check something out?
Rod Rescueman : Yeah I do, right here. It's a blank piece of paper but it is notarized and it's legal signed.
Fairy Godmother : You've made my day! If only I could give you a little test you could show me that you're capable of doing...
Rod Rescueman : I've got an idea!
Fairy Godmother : Yes?
Rod Rescueman : Why don't you give me a test?
Fairy Godmother : There's an idea!
Rod Rescueman : Thank you!
Fairy Godmother : Let me think of something... Here we go, I though of it so very quickly, let's pretend that I'm a damsel in distress.
Rod Rescueman : You'll be the damsel in distress.
Fairy Godmother : Better me than you.
Rod Rescueman : Well I couldn't rescue myself, that doesn't count.
Fairy Godmother : It really doesn't.
[flies up onto her desk]
Fairy Godmother : OK, to make it a little more interesting I will be a damsel in distress currently on fire.
Rod Rescueman : At this moment, on fire.
Fairy Godmother : Here we go.
[lights a ring of fire around her]
Fairy Godmother : Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire! Oh, help!
Rod Rescueman : This is the test where I show you...
Fairy Godmother : This is where you jump in and do something!
Rod Rescueman : Alright, you're on fire...
Fairy Godmother : Currently!
Rod Rescueman : Excuse me ma'am! Superheros are very polite!
Fairy Godmother : [fire stops blazing] Skip polite, go right back!
[fire starts blazing again]
Fairy Godmother : I now feel molecules charing internally!
Rod Rescueman : Gotchya!
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Fairy Godmother : Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire!
Rod Rescueman : Would you like to be rescued?
Fairy Godmother : [fire stop blazing] More than life itself!
[fire begins to blaze again]
Rod Rescueman : Let me just suck those flames up then!
[sucks flames into his mouth]
Fairy Godmother : My hero!
Rod Rescueman : Thank you!
[blows out flames all over the fairy godmother turning her black and crispy with the top of her wand eventually falling off]
Fairy Godmother : Oh, jeez! This is pain!
Rod Rescueman : Do I get the job, or should we move right onto the shark infested waters test?
Fairy Godmother : I'll give you the job, you'll get out of here!
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Flora : Uncle Greenie, is it really you?
Greensleeves : Basically it is, yeah.
Flora : You're short and bent!
Greensleeves : I'm short and bent.
Flora : What happened to my Uncle Greenie, the handsome dashing hero?
Greensleeves : He got short and bent. But he's glad to see you nonetheless... come here darling, let me give you a kiss you sweet love!
[sound of kissing]
Rod Rescueman : [enviously] *I* should get short and bent!
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Scuzzbopper : I'm through with nightmare scripts! I'm starting work on The Great Amurkian Novel! Pulitzer Prize, here I come!
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Flora : I am bruis-ed! I am ruin-ed!
Rod Rescueman : You were rescu-ed!