Whoops Apocalypse (1982)
John Barron: The Deacon
Photos
Quotes
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The Deacon : If the Lord had meant us not to panic, he wouldn't have given us clean trousers!
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President Johnny Cyclops : I don't like the sounds of this.
The Deacon : Sir, if the Lord had meant us to like everything we heard, he wouldn't have given us commercial radio.
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The Deacon : If the Lord had meant us to rely on geriatrics; he wouldn't have given us the supreme court.
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Nurse : The president shouldn't be disturbed.
The Deacon : Well, this one is.
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The Deacon : If the Lord had meant us to be sensible, he wouldn't have given us credit cards.
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Man in shadows : He is a little strange, but effective. By the way, do I tell him who he's working for?
[we cut and see he is talking to The Deacon]
The Deacon : Under no circumstance.
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[Cyclops has been shot]
President Johnny Cyclops : Oh, God. I have sinned. I have sinned!
The Deacon : Hush. He may hear you.
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President Johnny Cyclops : You had me shot just to get public sympathy?
The Deacon : Sir, this will blow your popularity through the roof. Henesy and his Democrat rats won't know what hit them.
[cut to a news broadcast]
Jay Garrick : Waves of letters of sympathy have been set after one of the most shocking and horrific acts in recent memory. Presidential candidate Jimmy Hennessy was run over by a speeding ambulance outside his home and had both his legs crushed. The ambulance contained President Johnny Cyclops, who was said to have only received flesh wounds after being shot at a TV taping this afternoon.
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The Deacon : Everything went well, sir, the lobotomy wasn't necessary.
President Johnny Cyclops : Well, I should think not. Anyone who tries to give me a lobotomy will get a piece of my mind!
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The Deacon : A lie for a lie, a truth for a truth.
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President Johnny Cyclops : Hell, Shah Rassim, this is president Johnny Cyclops. You may have noticed I am communicating with you by means of a parrot. This is because what I am about to tell you is of a highly confidential and secretive - are you sure he's getting all this, Deacon? The Quark Bomb has not been stolen by a terrorist. We stole it, and gave it to a terrorist; it's being smuggled to help you regain your rightful perch- throne! And we hope to get you off of that ferry very soon.
The Deacon : And the rest, Mr. President?
President Johnny Cyclops : P.S. Would you please, eat me?