- Ellen Moseby: [of a football game] Who's winning?
- Harry Moseby: Nobody. One side is just losing slower than the other.
- Arlene Iverson: Caught me in my bath.
- Harry Moseby: I'm sorry.
- Arlene Iverson: [seductively] Oh, that's all right. You could've joined me. It's a big bath.
- Harry Moseby: [with a wry grin] Maybe some other time, when I'm feeling really dirty.
- Tom Iverson: I want that kid the hell out of here. You see, I... I get pretty foolish with her, and I... Well, you've seen her. God, there ought to be a law!
- Harry Moseby: There is.
- Harry Moseby: Listen Delly, I know it doesn't make much sense when you're sixteen. Don't worry. When you get to be forty, it isn't any better.
- Harry Moseby: You told me fairy tales... About Malone... Billy Danreuther... The President getting shot... Your erect nipples!
- Marv Ellman: There's nothing like having a mother and a daughter. Gives you sort of a kind of perspective.
- Paula: How do you resist Delly?
- Harry Moseby: Oh, I just think good, clean thoughts, like Thanksgiving, George Washington's teeth.
- Paula: Where were you when Kennedy got shot?
- Harry Moseby: Which Kennedy?
- Paula: Any Kennedy.
- Harry Moseby: When the president got shot, I was on my way to San Diego. Football game. When Bobby got shot, I was sitting in a car waiting for a guy to come out of a house with his girlfriend. Working on a divorce case. One of those times I wish I was in another business.
- Arlene Iverson: Are you the kind of detective who, once you get on a case nothing can get you off it? Bribes, beatings, the allure of a woman...
- Harry Moseby: That was true in the old days. Before we had a union.
- Harry Moseby: What'd you do before this?
- Paula: [coyly] This and that...
- Paula: [pauses, gives him a look] I taught school, I... kept house. I waited tables... I did a little stripping, I did a little hooking... and I trod a lot of water.
- Harry Moseby: Sounds kind of bleak. Or is it just the way you tell it?
- Paula: [sharply] Do you ask these questions because you wanna' know the answer, or is it just something you think a detective should do?
- Harry Moseby: I just want you to know I'm here.
- Paula: Oh, that's a beauty.
- Harry Moseby: Yeah, but he didn't see it. He played something else and he lost. He must have regretted it every day of his life. I know I would have. As a matter of fact I do regret it, and I wasn't even born yet.
- Paula: That's no excuse.
- Paula: [of the uninhibited Delly] Did she offer you the key to the city?
- Harry Moseby: Well, no. It was, uh, more like a sightseeing tour.
- Joey Ziegler: Well, the world is getting smaller, the kids are getting younger and I'm getting drunk!
- Nick: [about his collection of Mexican statuary] Don't you like them, Har?
- Harry Moseby: I would, if they didn't all remind me of Alex Karras.
- Paula: Do you ask these questions because you wanna know the answer or is it just something you think a detective should do?
- Arlene Iverson: [shows Harry a picture] This is my second husband, Tom lverson, the bum. The only thing I got out of him was a new name. That's *ahfter* I quit acting. Did you ever see me in anything?
- Harry Moseby: [Harry draws a blank face, chuckles and shakes his head]
- Arlene Iverson: I was never "big," not really big. There were a lot like me. You know, studio premieres, studio romances, not much talent. But I got lucky and grabbed off one of the big guns, Irving Grastner.
- Arlene Iverson: Oh, I had lovely tits... even if I do say so myself.
- Arlene Iverson: [sighs] Ahh, they're sitting on a little bit of silicone now... but when they were up for grabs, they were really something special.
- Harry Moseby: I'm looking for Delly Grastner.
- Quentin: Delly isn't around here anymore.
- Harry Moseby: You got any idea where she could be? Is she visiting friends? Is she meditating? Did she join a commune?
- Quentin: [scoffs] Delly's idea of a "commune" is her and a guy on top of her.
- Harry Moseby: You think Delly knew that Marv and her mother were making it?
- Joey Ziegler: A blind man on a galloping horse would've known. Arlene ain't Lillian Gish.
- Nick: Where do you know Arlene from?
- Joey Ziegler: From way back.
- Nick: Oh, yeah? What's your name again? Ziegler? Joey Ziegler?
- Joey Ziegler: Joey Ziegler.
- Nick: I don't think you were one of the names.
- Joey Ziegler: What names?
- Nick: One of those she cheated on Grastner with. I got them all.
- Joey Ziegler: I'm one of a small, select group. We hold meetings in a telephone booth.
- Harry Moseby: [speculating that the missing daughter, Delly, may be in Florida with her stepfather] My guess is that I should go down there.
- Arlene Iverson: [melodramatically] You're gonna' go *all the way to Florida* on a guess?
- Harry Moseby: No. I'm gonna' *fly* all the way to Florida on *your* money, Mrs. Iverson. It's up to you.
- Arlene Iverson: [indifferently] Go ahead.
- Harry Moseby: [observing Paula, who is feeding dolphins in a special pen] What do you got 'em for?
- Paula: Well, there's a big demand for dolphins. Lots of people want 'em, you'd be surprised. People buy them for their swimming pools. They think it's chic to have a dolphin for a pet. Like that craze for baby alligators in New York years back. When they got bored with 'em, they flushed them down the john. Now they got a sewage system swarming with blind, albino, shit-eating alligators.
- Harry Moseby: [listening with a bemused look on his face] I'm not too sure I believe that.
- Paula: You're not one of those "intent on the truth" types, are you?
- Harry Moseby: Well, not religious about it, no, but I...
- Harry Moseby: How long you been on the Keys?
- Paula: Long enough.
- Harry Moseby: And you don't like it?
- Paula: I like the sun... I'm convalescing.
- Harry Moseby: What from?
- Paula: A terrible childhood. My father used to blow his nose with his fingers.
- Harry Moseby: That'll do it every time.
- Arlene Iverson: [as Harry confronts her at her poolside, after Delly's death] So I'm not grief-stricken. What does that make me?
- Arlene Iverson: [drunkenly] You know, Delly isn't the only kid who ever had it rough.
- Arlene Iverson: [sighs] When I was her age... I was down on my knees to half the men in this town.
- Arlene Iverson: [continues, as Harry looks at her contemptuously] I'm sorry the poor little bitch is dead. And when the time comes, I'll cry for her... but you won't be around to see it, Mr. Smart-Ass-Moseby. So... Out... OUT!
- [drunkenly waves him away]
- Harry Moseby: You ever see Tom lverson?
- Joey Ziegler: It's been about a year, year and a half. Last I heard, he was taking tourists down the Colorado River on rafts. He's another guy that can only do one thing, and *that* has gotta' be crazy.