Female Trouble (1974)

Edith Massey: Aunt Ida

Photos 

Quotes 

• Aunt Ida : [to Gater]  I worry that you'll work in an office, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life.

• Gator : I'm straight, I mean I like a lot of queers but I don't dig their equipment, you know. I like women.

  Aunt Ida : But you could change. Queers are just better. I'd be so proud if you was a fag and had a nice beautician boyfriend. I'd never have to worry.

  Gator : You have nothing to worry about.

• Aunt Ida : And remember my offer. It still stands. If you get tired of being a Harry Krishner, you come live with me and be a lesbian!

• Aunt Ida : Fucker! Pig fucker! Hetero! Filthy hetero stink-shit!

• Aunt Ida : Ya little bitch! Get me out of this goddamn bird cage!

  Taffy Davenport : Little bitch? Is that all the thanks I get? I gave you a hook, didn't I? Mother will kill me as it is!

  Aunt Ida : Who cares about your stinkin' mother? She stole my Gator away. But she ain't gonna get me! And I'll thank you for for this fuckin' hook after I rip her eyes out with it. Give me some grub.

  Taffy Davenport : There's no food here! Mother doesn't buy food for me! Do you want an egg? There might be some old eggs in the kitchen.

  Aunt Ida : No I don't want no GODDAMN EGGS! I want MEAT and POTATOES!

• Aunt Ida : Let me out of this cage little Taffy, and I'll give ya a cookie!

• Aunt Ida : Oh, Ernie! Have another pretzel for Chrissakes! Wait 'til you meet my little Gater. You two are gonna fall right in love.

  Ernie : My dear, I hope so. Are you sure he's gay?

  Aunt Ida : Well I just use common sense. I mean, if they're smart they're queer, and if they're stupid they're straight, right Ernie? Are you sure you won't have another pretzel?

  Ernie : I'm sure, Miss Thing, I'm sure. Pretzels give you plaque.

• Aunt Ida : Aahhh! Ahhhh! Dawn, ya son of a bitch! You're the one who did it! YOU! You drove Gater away!

  [as Ida enters the room] 

  Donald Dasher : Oh my God!

  Donna Dasher : Incredible!

  Dawn Davenport : Ida Nelson, you get out of my house!

  Aunt Ida : You made Gater leave! I got somethin for your face, motherfucker!

  [Ida hurls acid into Dawn's face] 

• Gator : Hello, Aunt Ida.

  Aunt Ida : Gater, what a coincidence! There's somebody here dying to meet you! Ernie, this is Gater; Gater, this is Ernie!

  Ernie : Hi, stud!

  Gator : Get him outta here!

  Aunt Ida : Gater Nelson, you be polite to Ernie! He wants a date with you!

  Gator : Well, I don't want a date with him. I came to say goodbye, Aunt Ida. I'm moving to Detroit.

  Aunt Ida : WHAT?

  Gator : I want to be near the auto in-duss-try. I'm sick of hairdressing, and besides, Dawn had me fired.

  Ernie : I can get you a job at the baths, Mary!

  Gator : Look, fucker, take a walk!

  Ernie : Well!

  Gator : Look, you better beat it before I punch your fuckin' face out that window.

  Ernie : No gay knocks for me, Ida! At best, all you've got here is trade.

  Aunt Ida : Oh, Gater! Ernie's your type! Move back in with me, and we'll get you a job as a female impersonator!

  Ernie : His hands are too big, dahling. Bye, Gater. It was... fab meeting you!

  Gator : Fuck you! You're worse than my wife!

• Aunt Ida : Oh, Gator, I'm sorry about Ernie. I thought you'd be cute together. Anybody's better than Dawn Slovenport.

• Aunt Ida : You let me outta here, Dawn Pigport!