Columbo (TV Series)

An Exercise in Fatality (1974)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Columbo : I'll tell you how you did it if you're interested.

• Columbo : [rummaging through his bag for evidence]  Just, uh, bear with me, sir.

  [he pulls out a saran-wrapped lump of something] 

  Columbo : Uh, that's my lunch. That doesn't mean nothing.

• Columbo : [on the phone with his wife]  I'm gonna hang up. You can keep talkin' but I'm gonna hang up.

• Columbo : [on the phone]  Hello? What're you doing up? You know what time it is? It's... um...

  Columbo : [calls out]  DOES ANYBODY HAVE THE TIME?

  Voice from other room : It's 6:30

  Columbo : [into the phone]  It's 6:30. I'm not yelling.

• Milo : You know something, Columbo? You're a devious man.

  Columbo : That's what they tell me.

• Columbo : I stopped by your place. Your housekeeper told me you were down here swimming.

  Milo : Twenty minutes a day. You ought to try it, Columbo.

  Columbo : No, I'm afraid not, sir. I can't swim. I don't even like a deep tub.

• Columbo : Oh, Mr. Janus, just one more thing, please.

• [last lines] 

  Columbo : It could only be you. By your own admission, it had to be you. Mr. Stafford was last seen around 7:30, wearing his business clothes. Now, he's alone in the building, the building is locked, and the next morning, he's found dead in his gym clothes and at 9:00 the previous evening, nine hours before the body was found, you, and you alone, knew that he was in his gym clothes. You said so. You swore to it in front of five witnesses. How did you know he was in his gym clothes, if you didn't change the clothes? You try to contrive a perfect alibi, sir, and it's your perfect alibi that's gonna hang you.

• Milo : What the hell gives you the right, Columbo?

  Columbo : This, sir. This is a warrant. This gives me the right.

• Columbo : [early in the morning after arriving at the crime scene with a thermos full of coffee]  You know, before coffee, I'm up, I'm walking around, but I'm not awake.

  [grunts] 

• Milo : One more thing, Lieutenant. Those cigars you smoke... they're gonna kill you.

  Columbo : [out of breath from jogging behind Milo]  Uh, yes sir, that's about how I feel right now.

• Jessica Conroy : [Columbo has just rung the doorbell to Milo Janus' mansion and is clearly distracted when the bikini-clad Jessica opens the door]  Yes?

  Columbo : I'm looking for um... uh... uhh Mi-lo Janus.

  Jessica Conroy : Are you sure?

  Columbo : Am I sure what, ma'am?

  Jessica Conroy : You sounded as if you weren't sure who you were looking for.

  Columbo : Milo Janus. Sure! Oh yeah!

  Jessica Conroy : Well, this is his house.

  Columbo : No, I was just think' about somethin' else... uh...

• Columbo : Can I ask you a personal question? You don't have to answer.

• Columbo : [to his wife, over the telephone, smiling]  You can keep talking but I'm gonna hang up...

• Columbo : Anybody here have brown soles or brown heels?

• Columbo : Thank you very much, ma'am. You've been very helpful.

• Columbo : Let me have my coffee first.

• Columbo : I'm out of shape. There's no question.