Pete 'n' Tillie (1972)
Walter Matthau: Pete
Photos
Quotes
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Pete Seltzer : What were you saying about the gardener?
Tillie Seltzer : We're going to have to let him go.
Pete Seltzer : [incredulously] Let him go? What are you talking about? He's got six kids.
Tillie Seltzer : Apparently, those are the only seeds he can plant.
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Gertrude : You have one Jewish grandmother. You're three-fourths Lutheran. Why do you keep insisting that you're Jewish?
Pete Seltzer : Because I'm a social climber.
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Pete Seltzer : [Trying to make small talk, upon first meeting Tillie] Where were you born?
Tillie Shlain : I hail from San Jose.
Pete Seltzer : I have to be honest with you. That isn't much of a "hail". Next time you're asked, say, oooh, I don't know... Indianapolis.
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Pete Seltzer : [while on their first date, at a Greek restaurant] You see that tiny man in the aisle there? That's Mr. Grougaris. He owns the joint. You notice anything strange about him?
Tillie Shlain : [Turning around and looking at him] Just that he's obviously wearing elevator shoes. Is that it?
Pete Seltzer : Exactly. And it gives me an opportunity to say to my dates, "Beware of Greeks wearing lifts".
Tillie Shlain : I *hope* you won't say that to me.
Pete Seltzer : [sheepishly] I won't.
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Pete Seltzer : Well, love without irritation is just lust. Not that there's anything particularly wrong with lust.