Sweet Charity (1969)

John McMartin: Oscar

Photos 

Quotes 

• Oscar Lindquist : The odds against us are at least a hundred to one.

  Charity Hope Valentine : Those are the best odds I ever had.

• Oscar Lindquist : Suppose you want a policy...

  Charity Hope Valentine : Yes, I want a policy. Go on.

  Oscar Lindquist : It's my job to study your particular situation... and then figure out the odds on your meeting with an unfortunate accident... like... like suffo... suff... suff... suffocating in an elevator.

  [He faints] 

• Oscar Lindquist : [stuck in an elevator]  Listen, I have an idea. What do you think of this? Climbing out the top of the elevator, shimmying up the cable, and then forcing the door open on the floor above.

  Charity Hope Valentine : Well, it might work, but gee, I do think it sounds a little dangerous.

  Oscar Lindquist : Then don't try it. Stay here with me.

• Charity Hope Valentine : [stuck in an elevator]  Hey, you're shaking!

  Oscar Lindquist : All over.

  Charity Hope Valentine : Let me rub your wrist.

  Oscar Lindquist : You know what I feel like doing now? I mean, you know what my impulse is? To take off all my clothes.

  Charity Hope Valentine : [stops rubbing Oscar's wrist, steps back]  I don't think that would do very much good.

• Oscar Lindquist : [stuck in an elevator]  It's stuffy in here. Stuffy, stuffy.

  Charity Hope Valentine : No, no, no, let's keep our clothes on, Oscar.

• Oscar Lindquist : I'm a very calm, organized person. I want you to know that if-if-if-if if-if-if-if if-if-if-if it really comes down to it, you can depend on me. You understand that?

  Charity Hope Valentine : Yeah, I understand.

  Oscar Lindquist : Yeah. I just hope it doesn't come down to it.

• Oscar Lindquist : May I see you tomorrow? Maybe we could go to a movie.

  Charity Hope Valentine : Okay, but one with a happy ending. I'm nuts about happy endings.

• Oscar Lindquist : You know, working in a bank can be very dangerous, you know? In the greater New York area the odds are 1 in 75 that you will be held up at least once in any 12-month period.

  Charity Hope Valentine : Listen, just livin' is dangerous, right?

• Oscar Lindquist : You're a lovely girl, Charity. Sweet Charity.

• Oscar Lindquist : Charity, I'd just about given up ever finding anybody like you. I mean, the world's gone crazy. Every - everything's all mixed up. I mean, the old standards of decency and - and morality, they don't seem to mean anything anymore. When I see the way the girls at the office are passed around, and - the jokes they tell about them are - well, I get sick, Charity. Most people would laugh if I told 'em that.

  Charity Hope Valentine : I'm not laughing, Oscar.

• Oscar Lindquist : [singing]  Here was a man, With no dream and no plan, Then one lonely night, I found Sweet Charity, You make life fun for me...

• Oscar Lindquist : Charity, I was asleep when you called. I'm still in my pajamas. Look.

• Oscar Lindquist : Don't you understand? I would destroy you.

  Charity Hope Valentine : But that's okay. I'm not doing much now, anyway.

• Charity Hope Valentine : Oscar, I got so much to give. Please, let me give it to you.

  Oscar Lindquist : Charity, I'm saving you. I'm saving you from me.

• Oscar Lindquist : I can't help it. Did you hear that? I know it's wrong, and I can't help it.