- Eddie Anderson: I want you to sell that house. And sell that place in the desert. Sell the cars, the paintings, that Bulgarian statue in the garden. Sell the books, the records, deep freezer, everything! Look, I'm the head of the house, that's an order: sell it!
- Florence Anderson: Yes, but Eddie, be sensible. Where would we *go*?
- Eddie Anderson: What do we really need? We'll get a small apartment here, and start from scratch.
- Florence Anderson: Eddie, you've worked hard all your life. You deserve a comfortable living.
- Eddie Anderson: [Blurts out laughing] I wasn't *comfortable*! I kept trying to kill myself!
- Gwen: I'm hired by Mr. Finnegan...
- Eddie Anderson: I know why you're hired by Mr. Finnegan.
- Gwen: He doesn't pay me for that.
- Florence Anderson: Remember how he used to be? Well, ever since he broke up with her, he - well, I told you. He's lost all interest in it. Not only with me, but as far as I can tell, with anyone. Well, "It's better than if he were off with some - tramp," I tell myself. "More to marriage than sex," I tell myself. By the way, I have your check.
- Gwen: OK, yes, I know, I'm nothing, I never was, but you! You could have been...
- Eddie Anderson: What? What?!
- Gwen: ...What you could have been. ...What happened to you, Eddie? Must kill you to think what you might have been.
- Florence Anderson: If he can get along without it, I can.
- Dr. Leibman: And it's highly unlikely that he'll ever leave you, is that it? Because he'll never find anyone who'll put up with what you had to.
- Florence Anderson: That's the way I am. I waited that bitch out and I'm going to wait this out!
- Dr. Leibman: I'm raising the question, is this what's best for you?
- Florence Anderson: That's the way I am!
- Dr. Leibman: You're really convinced there was nothing more to that relationship?
- Florence Anderson: A sex thing! Pure and simple. She was the office tramp. That happens. I understand that. Now, I must admit, there are nights when I feel ready to go through the roof.
- Florence Anderson: Then it was just a sex thing.
- Eddie Anderson: Yeah, that's all it was. Just a sex thing.
- Chet Collier: What are you, Syrian?
- Eddie Anderson: No.
- Chet Collier: Well, you're some kind of wog.
- Eddie Anderson: I'm a Greek.
- Florence Anderson: Eddie, remember the time you took a leave from the office - went east to research your profile on Chet Collier?
- Eddie Anderson: That son of a bitch.
- Florence Anderson: I always suspected that you...
- Eddie Anderson: You suspected right. I took her east with me. My research girl.
- Florence Anderson: Oh, God. I wish just once, just once, you'd said to me: "Let's go. Come with me and be my research girl." How did she talk you into that? I don't want to know. Good night. That bitch!
- Eddie Anderson: I'm gonna tell you the truth. The - the physical part, that wasn't it really. Somehow, by insulting me - got me mad - she made me look at myself in a way I hadn't done for years. That's why I held onto it the way I did.
- Gwen: I used to think it was just in the office, but you do the same way everywhere. And you'll never change. You're a liar. Like most people. But you lie to yourself. That's killing you.
- Eddie Anderson: Bullshit. You know what we're gonna put on the tip of everybody's tongue. Mustn't say the dirty word here, but it's not the "clean" one.
- Arthur Houghton: It's been my experience that when women, particularly women who feel this way...
- Eddie Anderson: I kept 200.
- Arthur Houghton: That money, its transfer, has a soothing effect.
- Florence Anderson: I'll just hold you. Oh, Eddie, I know it's going to be good again. Like it was in the beginning. I have faith in that. Yes. You sleep. Sleep, baby. Sleep. Sleep.
- Eddie Anderson: I think a lot of you, Florence, you know that.
- Florence Anderson: I know you do, baby.
- Eddie Anderson: We'll do the best we can.
- Florence Anderson: Oh, we'll do better than that.
- Eddie Anderson: Can a 44-year-old man who doesn't like himself go back and start again? That's the plot of our true romance, my faithful reader.
- Sam Arness: How much money you made this year?
- Eddie Anderson: Oh, I paid taxes on about 80 thou. Eighty thou.
- Sam Arness: [laughs] "Oh, I pay taxes on 80 thou. " Oh, but how much you make? Right? Smart. Smart. Don't tell me. Your money, your business. I know you got plenty.
- Sam Arness: I want to go Empire State Building. Is there my bank. We sit down Mr. Meyer. Jewish, but very fine man. Knows me 35 years. We make loan.
- Gloria Anderson: There are plenty of perfectly nice nursing homes where if your father does doo-doo in his draws, your mother doesn't have to clean.
- Gwen: He's very arrogant. He doesn't like it when he can't have his way on everything. He knows that turns me on.
- Gwen: I need someone like him, someone who's there. And I need someone else from time to time. The way a man does. A girl isn't supposed to think that way, I know. And I'd like to find it all in one person. There's no such animal!
- Gwen: The fact is, there's something about a bastard. Like they say, it's always the trombone player. The one who turns you on is the one who does you in.
- Gwen: After I'm married, we could see each other. Get a place, fix it up and I'd take care of you there. That's all you want of me anyway, the night stuff, everything perfect. And - that's all I want of you. And you say you want the truth. That'd be it. But, isn't that what you've always wanted?
- Florence Anderson: Brought him some cigars.
- Gloria Anderson: Cigars? What he needs is a good swift kick in the ass.
- Eddie Anderson: Florence, aren't you a long ways from home?
- Florence Anderson: If you insist on putting a match to all I've built for more than 20 years, I'm damn well gonna be here too.
- Gwen: I don't hear a sound out of you for a year and a half. Now you come on with that marriage salami. What the hell do you think I am?
- Gwen: I called up Jack Schnee.
- Eddie Anderson: The poster man?
- Gwen: That's right. You got it.
- Eddie Anderson: What was his attraction?
- Gwen: I remembered you didn't like him. That was his attraction and that's the way I went.
- Gwen: People aren't that way! They pretend, lie, like you do, because they can't take it the way they really are: faithless. You can't take it the way you really are, faithless. And the way I really am.
- Gwen: I'll tell you the best of all. An Italian. A movie producer: fat, pig rich, arrogant. An old man with a nothing body. But he'd look at me and he'd smile that soft Italian smile - and he'd hold me with those soft Italian hands. Like the hands of one of those old saints. No poetry about love - but such affection. The purest, the most honest, the most believable thing.
- Eddie Anderson: I worked my way through college. You did everything you could to stop me. If it wasn't for Mother...
- Sam Arness: Where do you think she got money? From my pockets! Send good-for-nothing, hopeless-case son Shakespeare-and-so-forth college. But then you found out what life is and you make big shot success because you got merchant blood here, here, here.
- Eddie Anderson: Don't give me that merchant-blood shit! You're selfish. Mean.
- Sam Arness: You have my blood, my brains.
- Eddie Anderson: I have my blood, my brains!
- Sam Arness: Miss, I find my life, all conversation change when subject money. You find same thing? Evening before, everything "Sweetheart, honey, lollipop" plenty chop-chop monkey business. Next morning, cold behind, right?
- Gwen: That's life.
- Eddie Anderson: Now, what is it, your mother's fault, your father's fault? What's that, Freud? You are you, kid.
- Charles: Mr. Anderson? Mr. Anderson.
- Eddie Anderson: Don't worry, Charles, I'm going away.
- Charles: Where?
- Eddie Anderson: Into myself.
- Florence Anderson: The night after you left, I was at a party. And I went home with another man. And when he touched me - I went dry.
- Florence Anderson: Eddie, can I ask you again? Is all this - about her?
- Eddie Anderson: Not really, no.
- Florence Anderson: I'm prettier than she is.
- Eddie Anderson: Yes. You are.
- Arthur Houghton: Edward, you look terrible. What are you doing to yourself? This is not you. Something has taken possession of you, Edward. Come on now, snap out of it. What? I can't hear you.
- Eddie Anderson: This is me.
- Arthur Houghton: Applesauce!
- Florence Anderson: What is it about?
- Eddie Anderson: My self-respect.
- Florence Anderson: That's all?
- Eddie Anderson: That's all.
- Dr. Leibman: Well, I'm going back on the six o'clock plane.
- Eddie Anderson: Well, I got a date with a manicurist downstairs. I can fix it up for you too. Well, she's a little hairy, here and there, but...
- Eddie Anderson: You had the perfect arrangement. Fat job, beautiful house, understanding wife. All the side nooky you could handle. You had it all. You did.
- Florence Anderson: What are you going to do?
- Eddie Anderson: Just be.
- Florence Anderson: Well, what will you be?
- Eddie Anderson: Nothing. Be.
- Florence Anderson: But be what? Be nothing?
- Eddie Anderson: Yes.
- Florence Anderson: Well,, you're a talented man, you can...
- Eddie Anderson: Yes. Nothing. Just be myself. Sounds silly.
- Florence Anderson: No, no, not at all.
- Eddie Anderson: You know, walk places. You know. Sit down, think. Maybe.
- Florence Anderson: Like Tolstoy?
- Eddie Anderson: No, like me.