Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963)
Tony Dow: Wally Cleaver
Photos
Quotes
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June Cleaver : Wally, where are you going?
Wally Cleaver : I'm going over to slug Eddie.
June Cleaver : That's no way to talk, this is Sunday.
Wally Cleaver : You're right, I'll wait 'til tomorrow and slug him in the cafeteria.
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Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : How come Eddie's such a creepy guy?
Wally Cleaver : He works at it.
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Eddie Haskell : Not me! Your father doesn't like me.
Wally Cleaver : Why would you say that?
Eddie Haskell : On account of the way he looks at me when he opens the door. Sometimes I think he'd be happier to see Khrushchev standing there.
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Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Do you really like me, Wally?
Wally Cleaver : I guess so.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Do you like me a whole lot?
Wally Cleaver : Look, don't get sloppy on me. I might just slug you one.
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Wally Cleaver : Did Dad hit ya?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : No.
Wally Cleaver : Did he yell at ya?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : No.
Wally Cleaver : Then why ya cryin'?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Sometimes things get so messed up, crying is the only thing you can do.
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Eddie Haskell : Look Sam, if you can make the other guy feel like a goon first, then you don't feel like so much of a goon.
Wally Cleaver : I don't get that.
Eddie Haskell : Of course you don't. That's because you never went to kindergarten with a home permanent.
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June Cleaver : Eddie seems to know a lot about the law.
Wally Cleaver : Yeah, he told his father, in three years he's going over the wall.
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Wally Cleaver : [Ward has told the boys how he used to walk to school as a kid]
[to Beaver]
Wally Cleaver : Yeah, every year the distance gets longer and the snow gets deeper.
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Wally Cleaver : Beaver... you got crumbs in the butter again. Boy, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's crumbs in the butter.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Sorry Wally. That must have happened when it fell on the floor.
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Wally Cleaver : Are you being a wise guy?
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[Wally is cutting the Beaver's hair after he "losted" his haircut money]
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Are ya' finished yet, Wally?
Wally Cleaver : Well, I don't know if I'm finished, but I think I better stop.
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Wally Cleaver : Boy, Beaver, wait'll the guys find out you were hanging around with a girl. They'll really give you the business.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : But gee, Wally, you hang around with girls and the guys don't give you the business.
Wally Cleaver : Well, that's because I'm in high school. You can do a lot of stuff in high school without getting the business.
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Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : I could use my own money, the twenty-five dollars I got in the bank.
Wally Cleaver : I thought you were saving that to go to college.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Larry says he never heard of a college you could go to for twenty-five dollars.
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Wally Cleaver : Are you giving me the business?
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Wally Cleaver : Where'd you hear all that jazz?
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Wally Cleaver : Dry up, Beaver.
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Eddie Haskell : [Beaver thinks he isn't going to graduate from 8th grade] Hey, that's tough, kid. Let me think. Maybe I can help you figure a way out of this.
Wally Cleaver : Listen, Beav. At this point, I don't think you want to be taking advice from Eddie.
Eddie Haskell : Are you kidding? I've been in an out of every kind of trouble there is in school.
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[Ward has arrived home from work and is reading the mail in the living room, unbeknownst to June and Wally who have just come down the stairs]
June Cleaver : Now Wally, I want you to go in the living room and pick up those orange peels that you left on the coffee table. If your father comes home and sees them he'll be in a terrible mood all through dinner.
Wally Cleaver : Yeah, I don't want him hollerin' at me again.
[June sees Ward in the living room, who has overheard their exchange]
June Cleaver : [sheepishly] Hello Dear. I was upstairs, I didn't know you were home.
Ward Cleaver : Oh yes, the monster has returned to his cave.
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Wally Cleaver : Hi Dad. I didn't do anything.
Ward Cleaver : Why do you say that?
Wally Cleaver : Well, I don't know, but, uh, you have that look on your face like somebody did something.
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Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Hey Wally, how come Dad's taking us out to dinner and a show?
Wally Cleaver : I don't know; I think it's on account of togetherness; like you read about in the magazines. You know, it's supposed to make us a happy family and all that kind of junk.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Couldn't we be a happy family just eatin' in the kitchen?
Wally Cleaver : Na, that's no good. Ya' gotta' go out and show people you're a happy family.
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Wally Cleaver : Gee Dad, how come you know so much about buying cars?
Ward Cleaver : Well, Wally, as unbelievable as it may seem they did have cars in my younger days.
Wally Cleaver : Used cars?
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[Wally's in love]
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : What's the matter with you, Wally?
Wally Cleaver : Whatta' you mean what's the matter with me?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : You look like that time you ate all those rotten eclairs you found in the trash behind the supermarket.
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[Wally and the Beaver are having a talk about girls]
Wally Cleaver : I guess girls stop makin' ya' sick just about the same time baths stop makin' ya' sick.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : How will I know when it happens to me?
Wally Cleaver : Well, one of these days when you're checkin' your own ears for dirt, girls will start lookin' good to ya'.
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Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : Boy, I sure wish there was somebody in the family for me to yell at.
Wally Cleaver : That's your tough luck.
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[to Beaver]
Wally Cleaver : What a dumb thing to do. I bet you wouldn't have done anything like this if Mom and Dad were here.
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Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver : [Ward wants to see Beaver in the den] Is Dad mad?
Wally Cleaver : Yeah, but Mom's in there.
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Wally Cleaver : Just watch what your sayin' Beaver or I'm liable to clop you one.
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[repeated line]
Wally Cleaver : Boy, Beaver, you're goofy!
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[repeated line, usually when trying to explain his typical teenage behavior]
Wally Cleaver : You know how it is.
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[repeated line, used as the 'hip' 1950s equivalent of I don't know]
Wally Cleaver : Search me.