Victory Vehicles (1943)

Fred Shields: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : [reading newspaper headline]  "Pumping Politician Polls Precinct in Public Primaries - Pumps as He Stumps." Eh, this popular public personality predicts...

  Politician : It is a pleasure and a privilege to personally point the pride and praise the perfect performance of this pump perambulator.

• Narrator : While a defense worker on the "swing" shift came up with this "swinging" chariot.

• Narrator : A mailman who doesn't care about walking on his day off claims, "With this handy-dandy walker-cycle, I do my walkin' sittin' down."

• Narrator : Necessity being the mother of invention, this ingenious hard carrier says,

  [Irish accent] 

  Narrator : "Win that ol' quittin' whistle blows, I give meself a lift home in me ol' wheelbarrow."

• Narrator : An air raid warden who's been staying up late nights was struck with this thought, "Nyeh. Inventin' things is kind of a hobby with me, see? So I put on these skates an' my official equipment, see? An' I gets me a good strong magnet, see? And, by golly, the darn thing works! Like this, see?"

• Narrator : And here's one by a traveling salesman in Sitting Bull, Montana. Who spent most of his time in hotel lobbies.

• Narrator : [as golfer]  "Well, tires or no tires, I'm not giving up *my* golf game!"

  [normal voice] 

  Narrator : This golf enthusiast combines business with pleasure as he actually "drives" to work on his "Model Tee". Four putts and he's parked. You'd be surprised how few golf balls he loses.

• Narrator : Here's an idea submitted by an animal lover of Great Neck, Long Island, who says, quote, "There ain't no priorities on tomcats!", unquote.

• Narrator : A Hollywood drugstore cowboy deprived of his station wagon improvised this system on the spur of the moment: Woo-ha! Doggone, fer a while, I thought I'd have to learn to ride a horse!

• Narrator : [as office worker]  I used to suffer from arthritis,

  [wheeze] 

  Narrator : 'cause all I ever done was sit on my, uh... chair at the office.

  [wheeze] 

  Narrator : Now I gets all my exercise

  [wheeze] 

  Narrator : and keeps healt'y wid dis patent applied for a exer-cycle.

  [wheeze]