- Senior: Is that you or my suit talking? I had hopes that you'd grow up to fill my shoes, not my pants.
- Leslie Collier: Aunt Julie, I'm very nervous about tonight. No man ever took me home to meet his children before. I don't know what attack to use. Should I be simple and sweet?
- Aunt Julie: Well, I never got anywhere being sweet.
- Leslie Collier: [Leslie pinches Aunt Julie's chin] You never got anywhere period.
- Junior: Uh, where are you going on your honeymoon?
- Leslie Collier: I'd like to take a trip through the Rockies... with a pack and mules and...
- Enid: The Rockies would be bad for Father's blood pressure.
- Leslie Collier: Well then, we could go to New Orleans for the Mardi Gras, and beat each other over the head with magnolia blossoms.
- [chuckles]
- Junior: Well, that would be bad for Father's hay fever.
- Senior: How would you children like it if we took a nice trip to some clinic. Then we could sail down my bloodstream and take some lovely x-ray pictures of our honeymoon.
- [Leslie giggles]
- Junior: [to Senior as Senior tightens his girdle belt] You pull that any tighter your hat won't fit.
- Junior: I thought you wanted to avoid publicity.
- Senior: Well, when you marry a woman like Leslie Collier, you've got to expect *some* publicity.
- Junior: If you let her get the upper hand you're a dead duck. Take me, for instance. I trained Enid from the very beginning.
- Senior: Yes, and now you've got her- *just* where she wants you.
- Junior: Yes- I mean, no.
- [Senior chuckles]
- Enid: [referring to Carlos Bardez] He did sing beautifully, didn't he.
- Aunt Julie: Yes, but he doesn't need that voice. When you have a face like that, *all* you need is a face like that.
- Junior: [to Senior, the morning after Senior has had a fight with Leslie] You must remember that the first time you were married I wasn't there to advise you. But times have changed since then. Men can't talk to their wives the way they used to. The best thing you can do is to apologize.
- Junior: [after Senior sees Carlos being driven in Senior's car] Yes, it's Carlos, he's coming out to stay with us. Now, all you have to do is go home and say you're sorry and make Leslie believe it.
- Senior: [to the chauffeur] George! Stop by my florist!
- [to Junior]
- Senior: My son,
- [slapping Junior's knee]
- Senior: you're the best father a father ever had!
- [laughs]
- Junior: [to Enid, referring to Carlos staying with them] I'm sick of having this place overrun with piano tuners and throat doctors and sprays! I want my chauffeur at the station, my valet pressing my tails, not his. He smokes my cigars! He drinks my oldest wines! He wears my clothes! Why, I can't even take a shower without hearing that platinum canary coughing up cadenzas!
- [sighs deeply and leaves the room]
- Aunt Julie: Boy, that Carlos is a killer diller!
- Enid: Believe me, Leslie, I only wanted to help. I had no romantic ideas about him.
- Leslie Collier: Neither did I.
- Aunt Julie: Hm! I did, but you wouldn't let me get my hands on him.