Horse Feathers (1932)
Thelma Todd: Connie Bailey
Photos
Quotes
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Professor Wagstaff : You know, this is the first time I've been out in a canoe since I saw the American Tragedy?
Connie : Oh, you're perfectly safe, Professor.
Professor Wagstaff : I don't know. I was gonna get a flat bottom, but the girl at the boat house didn't have one.
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Connie : If icky baby don't learn about the football signals, icky baby gonna cwy.
Professor Wagstaff : If icky girl keep on talking that way, big stwong man's gonna kick all of her teef wight down her fwoat.
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Connie : [Professor Wagstaff and Connie are in a canoe - a duck is swimming nearby. Connie speaks in a baby voice] Is gweat big stwong man gonna tell icky baby all about the bad football signals?
Professor Wagstaff : Was that you or the duck? 'Cause if it was you, I'm going to finish this ride with the duck.
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Connie : Oh, Professor, you're full of whimsy.
Professor Wagstaff : Can you notice it from there? I'm always that way after I eat radishes.
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Professor Wagstaff : Who was that?
Connie : The iceman.
Professor Wagstaff : Is that so? Well, you can't pull the wool over my ice.
Connie : Oh!
Professor Wagstaff : That iceman stuff leaves me cold. And if I leave you cold, I'm not the man I used to be.
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Connie : [Talking on the phone to Professor Wagstaff] But Professor, I don't understand.
Professor Wagstaff : You don't, eh. Well, I want to see you. Come right over to my office. You can't? You're in bed? Well, in that case, I'll come over to your office.
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Professor Wagstaff : Listen, madame, you've gotta give my son up.
Connie : Give him up?
Professor Wagstaff : You can't take him from me. He's all I've got in the world except a picture of George Washington crossing the Delaware.
Connie : But, Professor, I...
Professor Wagstaff : Whatever you say is a lie. He's only a shell of his former self, which nobody can deny. Whoopee!
Connie : Oh!
Professor Wagstaff : I tell you, you're ruining that boy. You're ruining him. Why can't you do as much for me?
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Professor Wagstaff : Did my son tell you - you had beautiful eyes?
Connie : Why, yes.
Professor Wagstaff : He told me that too. He tells that to everyone he meets.
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Professor Wagstaff : Let's see. Where were we? Oh, yes, I was on your lap - and doing pretty well as I recall it.
[Knock at the door]
Connie : Quick! Hurry! Get out! Hurry! And remember, stay under cover.
Professor Wagstaff : You've got more students than the college.
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Baravelli : Oh, Professor, I no see you. What are you doing here?
Professor Wagstaff : Nothing, right now. But, I was doing alright until you came in.
Connie : Oh, so you know the Professor.
Baravelli : Sure. He put me in business. He got me on the football team.
Professor Wagstaff : Now all's I gotta do is get him off the couch!
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Preacher : Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?
Connie : I do.
Preacher : Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?
Professor Wagstaff , Baravelli , Pinky : We do!