- Title Card: New York, where everybody is in such a hurry that they take Saturday's bath on Friday so they can do Monday's washing on Sunday.
- Coney Island Lady: You thief! It's men like you that make women afraid to wear underwear.
- Harold "Speedy" Swift: [Dodging traffic while driving Babe to Yankee Stadium] Even when you strike out, you miss 'em close.
- Babe Ruth: I don't miss 'em half as close as you do.
- Harold "Speedy" Swift: [talking to Babe Ruth and not watching traffic] Gosh, Babe - this is the proudest moment of my life!
- Babe Ruth: If you don't look out, it'll be the last.
- Manhattan Sight Seeing Tour Guide: [Using a megaphone] Ladies an' Gents: On your right is a vehicle that has defied the rush of civilzashun - the last horse car in New York.
- Title Card: The only thing Speedy required of his employers was that their store be within phoning distance of Yankee Stadium.
- Harold "Speedy" Swift: Big men don't keep jobs like that. You never heard of Lincoln jerking soda water.
- Harold "Speedy" Swift: Aw, Jane - why worry about losing a job on Saturday, when we can go to Coney Island on Sunday?
- Traffic Cop: Say, you crazy nut - where did you learn to drive?
- Harold "Speedy" Swift: I didn't. It's a gift.
- Babe Ruth: Hey, taxi!
- Harold "Speedy" Swift: Huh? Me?
- Babe Ruth: Come over here. Drive me to Yankee Stadium - in a hurry!
- Harold "Speedy" Swift: I got a tip that there's a tough gang coming down to take Pop's car.
- Old Man Card Player 1: Boys, if anybody tries to take this car, we ought to have somethin' to say about it!
- Civil War Veteran: Us boys fought in the Civil War an' our old password was - "it smells like rain." If you get in trouble, pass the word "it smells like rain"; Jed'll blow his bugle - an' we'll all be there.
- Old Man Card Player 2: In twenty years, I ain't fought with nobody but my wife - an' I'm right on edge!
- Title Card: When a boy loses his job, buys a new suit and takes a girl to Coney Island, he's either insane or in love - - and there's not much difference.
- Steve Carter: If you don't take this offer, the chances are you'll get nothing!
- Pop Dillon - Her Grand-daddy: Well, I ain't got nothin', so if I don't get nothin' - I won't have nothin' less than I've got.
- Jane Dillon: Well, Grand-daddy, they can't keep Speedy down - he's got another new job.
- Pop Dillon - Her Grand-daddy: Speedy gets plenty of jobs - but he'll never keep one while his mind is full of baseball.
- Truck Driver: Go on home before yuh see an elephant pushin' a baby carriage!