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- Woody embarks on his new life as City Councilman. Norm embarks on his new life as civil servant as Woody pulled some strings to get him an accounting job at City Hall. And Rebecca and Sam embark on their new relationships... possibly. Don asks Rebecca to marry him. Will her regular "I've got to marry a rich man" impulse makes her say no? And after seeing her win an ACE Cable Award on television, Sam makes the decision to get in touch with Diane. Sam lies to her about how happy he is in his life, and he suspects that she too is lying about how happy her married life is. But only a visit by Diane to Boston may make both realize what they want in life, which specifically for Sam can be summed up by a comment from Norm: "You can never be unfaithful to your one true love". Cheers.
- Frasier and Lilith announce that they are moving in together and as the instigators of the relationship, they invite Sam and Diane over as their first dinner guests. Just prior to Sam and Diane's arrival, the new couple analyze their relationship and who manipulated who into doing what, which starts an evening long argument. As Sam and Diane arrive, the evening goes on a roller coaster of emotions, the major downturn initiated by a secret revealed by Diane. Thus Diane becomes the third member embroiled in the emotional battle for the evening. The dip and the apartment main floor powder room play key roles in how those emotions manifest themselves. Frasier believes that he has the ultimate answer to the evening's problems.
- Diane thinks that Frasier is masking romantic feelings for his colleague, Dr. Lilith Sternin, so she launches a plan to fan the flames of love. Meanwhile, Norm and Cliff reluctantly join Woody for a fishing trip.
- The Gaines family has recruited Sam and crew to provide liquor and bartending services at the wedding, and as we'd expect, everything goes wrong. Woody is randy for Kelly, while the rest of the gang learns Mr. Gaines would gladly have Woody killed if he learned Woody and Kelly had premarital relations; Kelly tears her dress, and it's seamstress Cliff to the rescue; and the minister has a heart attack and dies in the kitchen, leading the gang to try and keep the dead body hidden in the dumbwaiter and to recruit a last-minute replacement, a completely wasted member of the Gaines family who we learn, after the gang sobers him up, that he hates weddings, leading them to re-inebriate him. And outside the kitchen in the courtyard, the family Dobermans attack everyone who tries to walk past.
- Diane and Sam are given a bleak prognosis from a noted marriage counselor.
- Thanksgiving is approaching and no one has anything to do except Diane, who is among a select few graduate students one of her professors has asked to spend Thanksgiving with his family, celebrating in the pilgrim's tradition. Diane suggests that the rest of the gang spend Thanksgiving together in Carla's new home. Carla agrees to a potluck dinner, with Norm in charge of the humongous turkey. Woody, Cliff and Frasier are solo for the day, but Sam is to bring his date Wendy and Norm is to bring his never seen wife Vera. They all vow to make this Thanksgiving the best ever. But some invited guests end up being no shows, and one uninvited guest makes an appearance. The guest list ends up being the smallest of the problems that ultimately befall this Thanksgiving. Regardless, this Thanksgiving does end up being a memorable one for all involved and in some ways the best ever.
- Sumner Sloan, Diane's ex-fiancé and old English professor, tells her that he submitted one of her old unfinished novels to an editor at a publishing house, the editor who sees promise in it and sees the possibility of it being published. Diane hasn't yet finished it, in fact she hasn't written anything since she started working at Cheers. Sam secretly overhears their conversation, and thinks that their impending wedding may be holding Diane back in her writing career, something she's always wanted. Sam and Diane discuss her writing career in relation to their marriage, they both feel that in the immediate future only one of the two will happen. Each has his/her own feeling of what should happen, each being so steadfast in their view to an extreme. Sam's perspective is based on a daydream he has about himself and Diane in old age together, she having forgone her writing career. When push comes to shove, one of the two makes a unilateral decision for the two of them, that person who has the full realization that the decision is forever. Meanwhile, the guys at the bar make a bet on whether the wedding will actually happen.
- For Frederick's second birthday, Sam takes him, and by association Frasier and Lilith, to a Nanny G concert, she being a famous children's entertainer. Woody tags along just because he loves Nanny G. Someone else unexpected once loved Nanny G as well. At the theater, Frasier is certain that he knows her from somewhere, and he finally figures out that she is really Nanette Guzman, his first wife about who he has never told Lilith. Frasier and Nanette married and divorced when they were very young - when Frasier was still in medical school - and he hasn't seen or thought about her since then. When Nanny G wanders through the audience, she instantly recognizes him, a fact Frasier, Lilith and the rest of the audience obviously realize when Nanny G passionately kisses Frasier. Lilith is angry, but Frasier and Nanette apologize to her. As an act of good faith, Nanny G offers to perform at Frederick's private birthday party. Lilith reluctantly lets it happen despite the fact that the emotions between Frasier and Nanette were once obviously very strong, and still very well may be. Frasier has to decide if Lilith or Nanny G is more important to him. Lilith and Nanny G may decide that for themselves.
- When Sam learns that a conman has taken thousands of dollars from Coach, he turns to Harry "The Hat" to help them get the money back.
- It's the annual St. Patrick's Day battle of sales between Cheers and Gary's Olde Towne Tavern. Not only does Cheers lose the battle of the hi-jinx with an unsuspecting Woody taking the brunt of the battle, Cheers also loses the sales bet. Sam has finally had as much as he can take not only with the loss once again to Gary's but performing the most humiliating task he and the guys have had to endure due to the loss. Sam threatens Gary and decides to pull out one of the biggest guns he knows: Harry the Hat. Sam asks Harry to devise and execute the ultimate plan to beat Gary. Harry refuses. Despite Carla's assertion to take matters into her own hands, Sam finally gives up permanently to Gary. When Sam goes over to Gary's to wave the final white flag, he witnesses in horror what he believes is Carla's master plan. But what he witnesses is part of a deal Gary made with Rutherford Cunningham, who Sam knows better by another name.
- Rebecca is planning a bachelor auction at the bar to raise money for Children's Hospital. Despite Rebecca's nonchalance toward his participation, Sam ends up being one of the bachelors, as is Woody (who she actually asked). Both Sam and Woody end up regretting it because of who purchases them. Meanwhile, Lilith and Frasier are in pre-wedding mode. Frasier suggests something that is totally off the radar for Lilith, namely a pre-nuptial agreement. Lilith is shocked and hurt by Frasier's request. This act by Frasier could jeopardize the wedding, as is a resulting $2,000 act by Lilith unless Sam can come up with a plan to get the two back together again.
- Because of Woody's civic election win, Sam needs another bartender, a job he gives to Carla. To celebrate, Carla whips up a batch of one of her powerhouse drinks for the guys. The day after, everyone has a hangover. What's worse, Carla, who imbibed and got drunk herself, has a sneaking suspicion that she took someone home and slept with him, that person she believes being one of the Cheers regulars. She confides in Sam alone, and after he tells her it wasn't him, she panics and they both ponder who it could have been, with her worse nightmare having it be Cliff. When her bed-mate ultimately reveals himself, Carla and Sam have to decide how best to handle the information. Two other revelations come to light in the aftermath of the drunken spree. And Sam makes an admission of his own to Carla to make her feel better about her own further revelation.
- What is... Jeopardy! (1984)? The answer is the show that is coming to Boston for a one-time only appearance and that Cliff has made it on as a Boston-based contestant. Cliff is cocky about his chances of winning. He is even more sure of winning after he sees the Jeopardy! board topics. An incident at game itself makes Cliff question his long held fascination with the game. A subsequent personal meeting later with Alex Trebek at Cheers restores his faith in what he can do for the overall good of mankind... or at least anyone who watches Jeopardy! Meanwhile, Sam's little black book is missing. Apparently the current holder of the book is working his way alphabetically through the book, calling up women and making dates as Sam to meet them at the roller rink, with the women to wear a black leather mini-skirt and French cut panties. The mystery person is currently at the H's and so Sam enlists Rebecca's help to set a trap for the mystery man.
- Rebecca has been chosen as one of six Boston businesswomen to get a makeover for Redbook magazine. She's excited by it, but ultimately goes a little overboard with the makeover itself. Meanwhile, Sam has found out that Gary of Gary's Olde Towne Tavern has sold his bar. Sam wants to start a new rivalry with the new owner of Gary's, a guy by the name of Frank Carpaccio, especially since they won't have any history of Cheers' underdog status in the bar wars. Woody, Carla, Norm and Cliff go along with Sam on the continued rivalry. When Carpaccio's retaliatory prank seems to be more than just a prank, Sam learns that Frank Carpaccio is a mob boss, whose nickname is the Angel of Death. Because of Carpaccio's evilness, the police will not provide Sam and Cheers any protection. Sam believes that Gary is still pulling a prank, he wanting to see the Cheers gang humiliated by pandering to a supposed mob boss. So Sam, Woody, Carla, Norm and Cliff go down to Gary's to meet with Carpaccio, who ends up looking like the stereotypical Italian mob boss. Pretending to apologize to Carpaccio and ask for forgiveness, the Cheers gang instead pull the fire alarm, setting off the bar's sprinkler system. Carpaccio vows to kill them all, their families and pets. Later, the FBI, who heard about what the gang did to Carpaccio, want Sam and the gang to testify against Carpaccio. The FBI offers witness protection to the five, which means they have to take off immediately in a bus waiting outside the bar. Does this mean that they will have to leave Cheers and Boston forever? Or is Gary behind this prank as he has been all the other times? Or...?
- Sam loans out his good luck charm to a slumping Red Sox pitcher. The pitcher immediately goes on a winning streak, but Sam begins experiencing a series of accidents.
- Diane Chambers makes her home at Cheers when her fiancé leaves her.
- The Cranes are having their apartment redone and have called in renowned designer, Ivan. They've also got Norm doing the prep work and painting. However, Ivan's ideas are all form and no function. On top of that, he's snobbish and dictatorial. So they fire him. Inadvertently, Norm, by just moving a chair in their living room so that he can spackle a wall, causes Lilith and Frasier to gush about the great placement of the chair in its new location. Norm really does show his talent for what he calls color and "where to place the ottoman", and he is hired to design the Crane's apartment, which he wants kept secret from everyone at the bar. The design turns out to be exactly what Lilith and Frasier want. The Cranes recommend Norm to their yuppie friends of friends, Kim and Robert Cooperman, who also want their place redone. Norm's initial meeting with the Coopermans doesn't start off well. It's because, as Frasier tells him, the Coopermans are snobs who expect their designers, to use Frasier's term, to be "stylish" i.e. gay and flamboyantly so. To get the job, Norm pretends to be what the Cooperman's want. What will the Coopermans do if they find out Norm is just a beer guzzling straight guy, especially as they want to do a favor for their gay interior designer? Meanwhile, Rebecca is afraid that she's looking a little fat, which Sam in particular milks for all he can. And Carla and Woody discuss other uses for Cliff's brain.
- Diane is still involved with Sam's brother, but she confesses that she is in love with Sam. So she returns to the bar to give him one last chance to admit that he loves her too.
- Rebecca's estranged sister, Susan Howe, is in Boston to shoot a commercial. She's an actress specializing in horror movies. She stops by the bar in the off chance that Rebecca might want to see her. Rebecca doesn't. Sam finds out that much of the sisterly discord is from the Susan stealing Rebecca's boyfriends when they were younger. Sam uses this information in his attempt to bed both sisters. He tells Susan that Rebecca and he are an item, after which she agrees to go out with him. He tells Rebecca that Susan is interested in him, to which Rebecca replies that to get back at Susan, Sam should break off their date and Rebecca would go out with him in Susan's place. So Sam postpones his date with Susan to take out Rebecca, with his date with Susan now later in the evening. However Susan can't wait and appears at the same time Sam is supposed to go out with Rebecca. Sam has to try and manage his dates with both sisters without the other finding out.
- 1982–199330mTV-PG8.2 (422)TV EpisodeIt was Lilith that walked in on Frasier and Rebecca as they were about to make love for the first time. All three are shocked at their situation and Lilith, the most confused, runs off to Cheers to get some answers from Sam as to what's been going on with her husband. Sam and the gang at the bar are as equally shocked by Lilith's news as Lilith was to see it. However it's not quite as simple for Frasier, who refuses to take Lilith back as easily as she wants. There is still the issue of the Dear John letter she wrote him. Apparently the letter was written by Dr. Pascal in an attempt to solidify his relationship with Lilith. Dr. Pascal thinks that he will have some say in what happens between himself and Lilith and between Frasier and Lilith. And as the fourth party, Rebecca will also have a say in what happens between herself and Frasier and between Lilith and Frasier.
- Sam and Woody make a bet that they can kiss Rebecca before midnight.
- Diane gets mad at the guys when she finds out that they took Frasier on a "snipe hunt." But she also doesn't want them to tell Frasier that they played a trick on him.
- When City Councilman Kevin Fogarty comes to Cheers on his re-election campaign spouting a whole lot of political nothings that nonetheless woos the crowd, Frasier bets the gang that he can even get a trained monkey on the ballot and garner 10% of the vote. Without a trained monkey in sight, Frasier chooses Woody as a good surrogate. Frasier does indeed get enough signatures to get Woody on the ballot. Woody helps his own political cause when Holly Matheson, a local reporter covering the City Hall beat, mistakes Woody's farm talk as an analogy for the problems of City politics. In an early poll, Woody garners 8% popular support, enough for the gang to concede defeat to Frasier. However, when Fogarty is caught in a public drunkenness spree, the gang figures that Woody can actually win the election and they go full force on his campaign. Frasier takes this task on as his own personal mission, that is until he has a nightmare of Woody as a career politician in the White House inciting a nuclear war. Frasier's pleas to Woody to withdraw from the race may have an unintended effect as Kelly has news of her own.
- Cliff goes into the mail order shoe business. At only $19.99 a pop, all the guys in the bar decide to get a pair. When the shoes arrive, the guys are all amazed at how comfortable and good looking the shoes are, but... Meanwhile, Rebecca thinks that she finally has her ticket out of the bar. Daniel T. Collier, the Chairman of the Board of the corporation - which by the way is called Lillian - asks her to organize a cocktail party at his house. Against Rebecca's better judgment, she agrees to hire Sam and Woody to tend bar at the party. The party is going well until Woody empties some garbage into what he thinks is a garbage can, but is really a priceless antique vase. What's worse is that Rebecca accidentally breaks the vase while she's emptying it out. Admissions to Mr. Collier aka Pinky as to who did what to the vase has an unexpected short to medium term result, despite Woody and Sam's best efforts to be the martyrs.
- Cheers is in competition with Gary's Olde Towne Tavern once again, this time it's the annual Bloody Mary contest open to all bars in the Greater Boston area. Cheers won the competition the first two years, but Gary's, ever since it opened, has won the last four. Rebecca has at least managed to get the organizers to hold the contest at Cheers this year. Sam in particular is in Bloody Mary mode, even getting Norm to stop drinking beer and start sampling Bloody Mary's. Sam believes his secret ingredient - if he can get a hold of it - will win them the contest. Regardless, Rebecca plans on stealing some of Gary's Bloody Mary mix to have it analyzed, which they all agree - more publicly than they imagined - is the best Bloody Mary they've ever tasted. Knowing that they can't beat Gary by the quality of the Bloody Mary, the Cheers group decide other methods are in order to win. Collectively and individually, they hatch plans for Gary not to win. Will any of these plans work or will they stumble all over themselves in the process? A consequence of the scheming could be the end of a friendship between one of the Cheers regulars and everyone else at the bar.
- It's Halloween, and the Cranes are arguing about how much of the Halloween tradition, if any, to which they should expose Frederick. Another argument going on, one more traditional, is that between the gang at Cheers and the gang at Gary's Olde Towne Tavern, Halloween a day that bar wars of the prank kind happen. As Sam and the gang decide what to do to Gary and his bar - as Carla states, she wants to be on a winning side of a great scam - Gary already hits. But the pranks come to a screeching halt from Gary's side when he comes into Cheers and announces that he wants a truce as he was just diagnosed with extremely high blood pressure. Sam doesn't believe him and continues to plot. Checking how their own prank on Gary went over, the Cheers gang goes over to Gary's and finds him alone unconscious on the floor. Frasier checks: Gary isn't unconscious, but dead. Seeing Gary on the floor, Sam doesn't believe Gary's dead. After the police and coroner confirm Frasier's check, Sam doesn't believe Gary's dead. When one of Gary's bartenders gives Sam one of Gary's prized possessions, Sam doesn't believe Gary's dead. As Gary's funeral is announced, Sam doesn't believe Gary's dead. After Sam sees Gary inside the casket, Sam doesn't believe Gary's dead. As the casket is lowered into the ground, Sam doesn't believe Gary's dead. Is Gary dead? Regardless, Carla gets her wish.
- Sam and Diane agree to find blind dates dates for each other. Diane takes it seriously, but Sam doesn't--assuming that Diane's plan is to set him up with herself. Therefore, he finds a disastrous date for her at the last minute.
- Cliff meets the woman of his dreams at the bar on Halloween night but is afraid of meeting her when he's not in costume, and Sam and Diane have their first non-romantic outing together after the breakup.
- Rebecca is asked once again by one of the corporate bigwigs to organize a party. This time, Vice-President Walter Gaines wants her to organize a luncheon at his house as a European homecoming for his daughter Kelly. Rebecca drags along Sam and Woody to tend bar. Sam has a great time as he figures out the way to big tips is to use his ex-celebrity status. Woody doesn't have as good a time as he butts heads with Kelly's boyfriend Nash, the two taking an instant dislike to each other. It goes as far as them making a date for a fight at Cheers the following day. What transpires can't really be called a fight. Kelly finds out about the fight and comes to the bar, although she's too late to stop it. Sam, Carla and finally Woody think that Woody dating Kelly would be a good way to get back at Nash. He goes about it the old fashioned way by asking Mr. Gaines for his permission. Although Mr. Gaines admires Woody's old fashioned approach, he basically laughs at Woody for his presumption. But to Woody's surprise, Kelly, who's opinion is the one who really counts, decides to go out with Woody as she feels under-appreciated by Nash. Kelly and Woody end up having a nice date, the event which is for Kelly unfamiliar territory. Despite doing it just to prove a point to Nash, Kelly has to decide if Woody and her date ended up being "just a point".
- Norm convinces Sam to install a satellite dish at Cheers. Carla finds a cheap, used dish, however it does not come installed. Despite not knowing how to do it, Sam and Woody tackle the installation task. During their work, Sam and Woody have a philosophical chat as, while they think of satellites, ponder the meaning of the universe. Meanwhile, Cliff has submitted a joke to The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962) hopefully for Johnny Carson to use in his opening monologue on Doc's birthday. The joke: "Today is Doc Severinsen's birthday. You know, Doc is so old, when he was a kid, he never blew out candles on his birthday cake. They didn't have fire yet." It is obviously rejected by NBC. However Norm doctors the rejection letter to make it look like an acceptance letter, since Cliff is feeling so down. When Cliff reads the letter, he's elated, so much so, he buys three round trip tickets to Los Angeles, planning to watch Johnny's show live when his joke should be used. The three lucky, or unlucky, souls are Cliff, Ma and Norm. Cliff expects not only that his joke will be used but that Johnny will invite him on air. Although nervous about ultimately revealing the truth to Cliff, Norm has a great time in Hollywood, as does Cliff and Ma. At the show, Norm still can't tell Cliff the truth, and instead bribes the cue card guy into putting the joke into the monologue. Norm has to hope that after the certain bomb of the joke, that he won't be found out as the one who placed it in the cue cards or that Cliff won't make a fuss. Norm may be pleasantly surprised, with a little help from Ma Clavin.
- Frasier gets a Dear John letter from Lilith, who is still in the eco-pod. She wants a divorce since she and Dr. Pascal aka Googie have committed to their love. A flood of negative emotions flow out of him. Rebecca suggests to the gang that they throw Frasier a divorce party to cheer him up, complete with stripper. Frasier is touched by the gesture, but is still depressed and a bit drunk at the end of the evening, so Rebecca offers to drive him home. After he invites her in for coffee, one thing leads to another which leads to the bedroom. Before they can really get hot and heavy, the gang from the bar, one by one, come over to cheer Frasier up. As hard as he tries to get rid of them, they won't leave. After a long evening of the gang's company, Frasier finally gets rid of them and finds Rebecca in his bed asleep. Both thinking that the moment has passed between the two of them, they reiterate to each other that they still want to continue what was interrupted. Just as they start their actual lovemaking, they get another visitor who really disrupts the proceedings.
- Sam hires a waitress that Carla considers to be a perfect replacement for Diane: she's smart, talented and charming, and Sam doesn't want to sleep with her. But then her sexy daughter shows up at the bar and potentially ruins everything.
- Frasier is feeling pressured by Lilith to get married, and he doesn't like it. He wants to be the man in the relationship and make the decisions. But this relationship is the first one he's ever had where he does feel sexually desirable in an animalistic sense, and wants to know what that may feel like with another woman. Norm, Cliff, Tim and Alan convince him that Rebecca has the hots for him, and Cliff even manages to get Rebecca to inadvertently give Frasier that impression. The questions become whether Frasier will decide to pursue Rebecca, which means dumping Lilith, and if he does what both Rebecca and Lilith's reactions will be. Meanwhile, the power struggle between Sam and Rebecca at the bar continues, the biggest bone of contention being who's photograph should hang in the bar: the ex-bar owner and pseudo-celebrity Sam or the current bar manager Rebecca.
- Woody has a starring role in a television commercial for a new health drink called Veggie-Boy. Woody is excited before the commercial shoot, during the commercial shoot and after the commercial shoot. It isn't until the commercial starts to air that Woody's excitement turns to horror. In the commercial, Woody explicitly states that he likes it, referring to Veggie-Boy, but he finally tastes it afterward and hates it. This endorsement is a lie from a man who doesn't lie. Woody has no idea how to resolve this dilemma. Despite the fact that Lilith doesn't agree, Frasier suggests to Woody that he try hypnosis. Woody does try hypnosis, and it works - Woody ends up liking Veggie-Boy because of it. He's now ecstatic, but his euphoria is short-lived as his new found love of Veggie-Boy creates its own problem for Woody. Meanwhile, Cliff has a new enemy in the bar: Sam's new trivia bar napkins.
- Diane announces that she is leaving Cheers forever to go to Europe with Frasier. This marks Nicholas Colasanto's final filmed episode.
- Sam turned Robin in to the Lillian Board of Directors, and as such, Robin has been indicted for insider trading. Rebecca is standing by Robin, although she, deep in her heart, knows that Robin, in her own words, is going to fry. But at least she has the solace in knowing that Sam, her friend, was not the one who turned Robin in. When she finds out that it was Sam - she finds out when the Lillian Corporation sells the bar back to Sam for $1 (actually 85¢) - Rebecca is livid. She decides to leave Cheers forever and forget it ever existed, and to head off to wherever Robin is. Further acts by the Lillian Corporation, Sam and Robin affect Rebecca's decision concerning her future, until...
- Diane receives what she believes is a "promising" rejection letter from a literary magazine for a poem she submitted. To prove that the letter is nothing more than a form letter, Sam bets her that if he submits a poem to the same magazine, he too will receive the same letter. Much to Sam's surprise, the poem he submits gets published in the magazine. Diane, believing that Sam has plagiarized a previously published work, lives for a week solely on coffee and cigarettes as she madly rifles through every poetry book to find the poem Sam submitted. She hits the furthest deeps of despair when offhandedly Woody mentions to her that he too submitted a poem to the magazine and received the exact same rejection letter as Diane. Feeling that Diane has gone through enough anguish, Sam admits to Diane the source of what was truly his previously unpublished poem. Meanwhile, Carla, the Elvis Presley fanatic, takes a trip to Graceland on the 10th anniversary of his death.
- Things at Cheers have changed. Sam has sold the bar to a large corporation and with the proceeds of the sale, bought a boat and is sailing around the world. As employees, Woody and Carla are forced to wear corporate uniforms. The new manager, Rebecca Howe, is a beautiful but tough as nails boss who has worked her way to this position from a business school background. Norm and Cliff no longer frequent the bar, as don't many of the old regulars, except Frasier. Norm gave the "new" Cheers a shot, but as a new crowd started populating the bar, the old refrain, "Norm!" as he enters, has left their vernacular. Diane's book deal didn't work out, and is in Hollywood writing for television. And Carla and Eddie have broken up. But the one constant: Carla is again pregnant, this time with Eddie's child. Into this new world, Sam throws everybody for a loop and returns to Cheers; apparently, he sank his boat when he hit a reef in the Caribbean. He came back to the bar, not in an effort to buy it since he has no money, but rather to find a job as a bartender. However there aren't any positions available. The other bartender, Wayne, is a dour man who knows how to make every drink known to man. Sam decides that a good approach to getting a job at Cheers is to do as he's always done and that is to go through the beautiful woman, Rebecca, especially as he overhears some inside information from Rebecca's boss, Evan Drake. Rebecca however takes an instant dislike to him, but offers him a job as a relief bartender out of pity. When Sam learns the consequences of these actions, Carla hatches a plan to get what she, Woody and Sam want, which has its own unintended consequence.
- 1982–199330mTV-PG8.0 (513)TV EpisodeThe Cranes are going on a driving vacation, and Lilith admits to Sam that she doesn't know how to drive and would like him to teach her. He soon regrets saying yes as she becomes an aggressive, maniacal driving machine, with Sam taking the brunt of other drivers' wrath against her this gives Sam a bloody nose from the driver. Meanwhile, Rebecca gets her photo taken for a newspaper article. However her photo gets printed in the wrong and unfortunate section of the newspaper. And Cliff is going into the hospital for an appendectomy. He's making a big deal about the life and death nature of the surgery. While in the hospital, he gets no visitors as everyone at the bar assumed that someone else had gone to visit him. Frasier volunteers only since he has to make rounds at the hospital anyway. When he arrives at Cliff's room, he finds out that Cliff has already been discharged. Frasier makes some disparaging remarks about Cliff which Cliff overhears. Cliff is hurt that no one came to visit, Frasier leveling with him that perhaps it is because of his insensitive and obnoxious personality. Cliff thinks that some fast acting and drastic measures are required to strengthen his so-called friendships.
- Frasier tells Sam that the girlfriend of one his "clients" called out another man's name in bed, but Sam knows he's talking about Diane. Meanwhile, Cliff is afraid to tell a burly colleague that he's the fellow mailman who got him fired.
- Robin is taking a day off work to spend with Rebecca doing her spontaneous planned dream date that she's fantasized about since puberty: a walk along the beach, a picnic in the park, a paddle-boat ride, a trip to the zoo, The Phantom of the Opera, a late supper and a roll in the hay. But competitive Robin and equally competitive Sam get into a continual war of oneupmanship in bar games of darts and pool, each won by Sam. However, Robin challenges Sam to a game of intellectual cunning: chess. Robin makes the challenge irresistible for Sam with a wager of a week's salary, Sam figuring that he can use the winnings to buy back the bar. Sam accepts despite the fact that he doesn't know how to play chess. Using some transmitting equipment and Norm and Pete sitting in front of a computer chess game, Sam takes on Robin with Norm and Pete's computer help. Could this cheating get Sam his bar back, or will the computer lose, or...? Meanwhile, Rebecca does go on her dream date, her actual date who ends up having an emotional breakdown of his own.
- Diane plays a prank on the guys in the bar, but she becomes paranoid as she waits for their inevitable payback.
- The bar's jukebox is temporarily going in for repairs, and for the week while it's away, Cheers gets a karaoke machine in it's place. After an initial reluctance by the gang as to it's usefulness, they take to the machine. In particular, Norm and Cliff are hooked on the song Lollipop - especially while sung with helium filled voices - while Frasier is hooked on every other song as he monopolizes the karaoke machine's time. Meanwhile, Robin will be getting out of jail in three days, and through the delivery of a white rose and a love letter, proposes to Rebecca and wants to get married on the day of his release. She's ecstatic - at least initially. Rebecca holes up in her apartment leading up to the wedding. She's living on booze and cigarettes. In a heart to heart with Sam and to herself, she finally admits that she doesn't think she loves Robin. She'll figure out what she needs to do once she sobers up.
- Lilith goes into labor during the Cheers' 100th year anniversary celebration.
- Carla tells Diane a shocking secret about her relationship with Sam. It's an outright lie, but Carla does it just to prove that Diane can't keep a secret and will never be her real friend.
- Diane will not accept Sam's proposal over the telephone because she wants him to do it right. So he sets up the perfect romantic evening, only to have Diane reject the proposal.
- John Allen Hill, a famous Manhattan restaurateur, has bought Melville's, which Rebecca thinks is going to boost business for Cheers. Hill and Sam's relationship starts off slowly and gets worse and worse. The first spoken threat from Hill is the fact that he actually owns the property of the bar's pool room and washrooms, implying that he wants Sam to meet all his demands or else. Hill wants a floor mat at the bottom of the interior stairs and wants to use the bar as the restaurant's lounge which includes treating Cheers' staff as Melville's staff. And a consequence of Hill's ownership of Melville's is that the bar is filled with a different yuppie clientele, who most importantly don't know that Norm's bar stool is only for Norm. But the last straw for Sam is that Hill wants his parking spot back, which Sam has always used to park his beloved Corvette. Sam and Hill refuse to do business with each other, which leads to Hill bricking off the bar's hallway - the one leading to his washrooms and pool room. Hill will only take down the wall when Sam starts to pay rent. Sam is slowly descending into madness from this situation which culminates into the ultimate in insults for Sam. Meanwhile, Woody receives some somewhat suggestive pictures from Kelly in Paris. However, Carla notices a hairy large thumb in one of the photos, meaning the pictures were taken by a man. Finding out who this Lothario is becomes an all-consuming thought for Woody.
- The gang is celebrating its second anniversary of beating Gary's Olde Towne Tavern in bowling, their one and only victory in the bar wars. But they are also on a winning streak. The act of Gary stealing and breaking the bowling trophy reignites their war, of which Rebecca is unfamiliar. She refuses to participate, until the war starts to affect her. The pranks are generally mild but juvenile, but Rebecca agrees to Gary's offer of a truce. The cease fire quickly ends when Gary pulls another prank. Beyond the pranks, the gang at Cheers become paranoid about every stranger that comes into the bar, including someone who claims to be Red Sox power hitter Wade Boggs, who says he was sent by Gary to sign autographs. He looks like Wade Boggs, sounds like Wade Boggs, but does that make him Wade Boggs? The resulting end of this war is in the words of the wise "pretty weeny".
- A man in the bar becomes sick of Cliff's obnoxious know-it-all behavior and challenges him to a fight. Will Cliff shut up, accept the challenge, or run away?
- Diane dreams that "Andy Andy" has escaped form a mental institution and is coming to kill her. But when she wakes from her nightmare, "Andy Andy" shows up at the bar to ask a favor.
- Diane follows through with getting her portrait painted behind Sam's back. But the artist predicts that if she shows it to Sam, she will never see him again.
- On Thanksgiving, all the orphaned bar regulars gather for dinner at Cheers. These include recently-separated Frasier and his son Frederick; Carla and three of her kids--Lucinda, Jesse, and Elvis; a Vera-less and somewhat-confused Norm with his Barcalounger; a Ma-less Cliff; host and hostess Sam and Rebecca; and briefly and unexpectedly, John Allen Hill, whose kitchen, silverware, dishes, and candlesticks the gang are using. Woody is having dinner with the Gaineses; Mr. Gaines recently made Woody sign a power of attorney document, and Sam thinks that the Gaines family is taking advantage of naive Woody. Sam suggests that Woody stand up to Mr. Gaines--say he should be ashamed of himself and give Woody the respect he deserves. Woody does so, but not before he walks in on Mr. Gaines hooking up with his sister-in-law Katherine. When Woody busts out his speech, Mr. Gaines thinks he's blackmailing him, so he goes along with everything, including chumming around together doing Woody's favorite "lower-middle-class activities," as Mr. Gaines calls them. However, Woody saw nothing between Mr. Gaines and Katherine.
- Woody, Norm and Cliff come bounding into the bar after a drunken evening of watching The Magnificent Seven (1960), and are feeling all macho. They talk about the lack of danger in everyday life, and crave for such. Another patron in the bar, Bob Speakes, is a skydiving instructor and suggests that they give skydiving a try. The three are all talk and no action, but finally agree to do it after Carla goads them into it. The next day, the three are up in a plane ready for the jump. They all chicken out, the first men ever in Bob's history of teaching that have ever done so. However, the three make a pact that they will say to the gang at the bar that they did it, keeping the story nice and simple: they jumped, the chutes opened, they landed. The two problems are Cliff, who needs to embellish the story to pump up his own so-called extraordinary achievements, and Woody, who has never told a lie in his life. Carla doesn't believe that they did it, until Woody, who is nervous in the lie, says that they did. He manages to convince Carla in the lie. Sam is jealous of the three as he's always wanted to skydive, and talks the three of them into taking him up for a jump. They can't weasel out of it, but especially Woody feels that, given another chance, he could do it and the lies he told would no longer be lies. Back up in the plane the following day, the three chicken out once again and the truth comes out that they didn't jump before. But Sam also chickens out, and suggests they continue with the lie. Back at the bar, the guys talk up a storm, and Rebecca suggests that they do one more jump holding a banner advertising Cheers, the act filmed by a camera crew. They all talk her out of the idea until she infers that the macho bravado of the act might be enough for her to go to bed with Sam, which is enough for him to agree. Will it be third time lucky for the four?
- For the bachelor party the guys at the bar throw for Sam, Woody offhandedly asks Diane if she would be the girl who jumps out of the cake. Although she abhors such male sexual rituals, she agrees if only to stop someone else from "pleasuring" Sam. At the party, just as Diane is ready to come out of the cake, Norm makes a comment which makes Sam reexamine out loud for the first time this wedding and the fact that Diane will now be the one and only woman in his life. After jumping out of the cake mad at Sam for his comments, Diane later offers Sam a proposition: she will give him a last 24-hours of freedom to do whatever he pleases with whomever he pleases. Sam excitedly agrees until Diane throws in that she too will have her last 24-hours of freedom to do whatever she pleases with whomever she pleases. Will Sam still go along with Diane's plan and if so what will he do and what will she do?
- Sam falls off the wagon and Diane has a nervous breakdown after the breakup. But after she's cured, Diane returns to Cheers to recommend her psychiatrist--Dr. Frasier Crane--to help Sam. But she doesn't say that she's involved with him.
- Diane tells Sam that she's seeing Frasier. Then, they both confess that they no longer have feelings for each other, even though both suspect the other is lying. And since the feelings are supposedly gone, Diane takes her job back.
- Sam sets up Frasier with one of his young bimbos. The day after their first date, Frasier announces that they are getting married--today.
- Councilwoman Eldridge presses Sam for a marriage proposal, but Sam remains noncommittal. She then dumps Sam after he and Diane create a scene at her press conference. The incident leads Sam to a proposal--but to whom?
- With new video camera in hand, Cliff and assistant Norm are hired by a man named Peter to videotape his parents' 50th-wedding-anniversary celebrate to be held at Cheers. Halfway through the proceedings, the camera's battery dies and Cliff has no alternate power supply. Norm wants Cliff to tell Peter, but Cliff continues "filming" anyway. Meanwhile, Frasier has a new temporary secretary, 21-year-old Shauna, who directly, unabashedly hits on him; on Sam's urging, Frasier takes her up on her offer of Sunday dinner at her house. Frasier is nervous about what seems like a sure thing. The evening doesn't end up quite how he imagined, but forced to stay until the end, he ultimately makes the most of it.
- Coach is distressed when his sweet but insecure daughter introduces him to her boorish, obnoxious fiancé.
- Norm gets a promotion as a "corporate killer," but he's not sure that he can handle being the guy at the office who fires people.
- Rebecca, self professed as "too darn beautiful", is looking to Lilith as her new fashion role model in getting ahead in the business world. However, what works for Lilith works for Lilith. Cliff wants to go into business himself marketing his new product, the beetabaga, a cross between a rutabaga and a beet. Meanwhile, Woody is getting closer to corporate as he dates Kelly Gaines, the daughter of one of the VP's. It's Kelly's birthday and Mr. Gaines invites Woody to her party. The gang at the bar thinks Mr. Gaines' invitation is just to put Woody in a bad light in Kelly's eyes as Woody can't afford to buy Kelly an expensive gift to which she's accustomed. In fact, she does get one expensive new car after another as birthday gifts. Frasier suggests a gift from the heart, which Woody does give with all his heart and voice. As much as Kelly likes what Woody gives her, she is still wondering where her real present is. Unless Woody can convince Kelly that an ATM is not an infinite source of money, he thinks his and Kelly's relationship may be reaching its natural conclusion. In the process, Woody learns that true love is a two-way street.
- Rebecca is in a reflective mood after Woody and Kelly's wedding. Rebecca vows to change her life. Her symbol of change is stubbing out the cigarette she is smoking, the last cigarette she vows to ever smoke. After that act, she dumps the cigarette filled ashtray into the wastebasket in the bar office. The next day, Sam, called in by the fire department, arrives at the half burnt down bar. Hysterical, Sam really wants to believe this fire is just another gag by Gary, but the reality of the matter sinks in. Once he realizes that he has insurance to cover the damages, Sam settles into the mindset of rebuilding the bar, but he still wonders what caused the fire. The fire marshal tells Rebecca that the cause was a smoldering cigarette in the wastebasket in the office. Rebecca knows that she once again was the cause of this major screw-up. Others devastated by the fire are Norm, whose "home" is damaged, and Cliff, who had a bagful of undelivered mail stashed behind the bar, which is now burned to a crisp. After Rebecca lies to Sam, telling him the cause of the fire was faulty wiring (which Sam is kicking himself for not fixing, although meaning to do so for years), he finds out that his insurance deductible is $25,000, money he doesn't have. Trying to get a loan, Sam is turned down by every bank in town. He has to resort to Plan B: cashing in his baseball pension, maxing out his credit cards, moving into a cheaper rent apartment, and selling his beloved Corvette. Will Rebecca finally admit to her role in the fire, and if so, will Sam forgive her?
- After Woody's Uncle Fergie has a mugging filled trip to Boston. Woody's father thinks that Boston is too dangerous a place for his son. And he wants him to return back home to Indiana. The gang at the bar thinks that introducing Woody's friends through the making of a home movie, would settle Woody's father's concerns. The first attempt has Diane as writer, director and cinematographer. Her "cast" rebels at the unnatural, for them dialog in Diane's script. They fire her, and she then separates herself from the project. The final product of the second attempt has Woody shown individually with each of his friends. Each, against their own natural settings: Sam in his office. Carla at a backyard BBQ, with her rambunctious kids. Cliff on his postal route. Norm at the Hungry Heifer, and Frasier at his psychiatry practice's office. After watching it. They each agrees that they all come off as boobs. Except for Diane. She sees this version as the start of something great. To her, all it needs are a few Chamber's touches. Will Diane's Jean-Luc Godard inspired version, which she sent to Woody's parents, do the trick?
- Sam suffers a hernia while trying to prove that he's not getting too old.
- The guys at the bar feel guilty for constantly teasing Diane and not inviting her to their gatherings, so they try to make up by taking her to her favorite opera.
- Robin invites Rebecca to Carl Yastrzemski's $1,000 a plate tribute dinner. Robin also invites Sam along to brief him on baseball. Third wheel Sam ruins Rebecca's plans for a romantic evening with Robin. But on the way to the dinner, Robin and Rebecca decide to get hot and heavy and Robin unceremoniously dumps Sam out of the limo in the middle of nowhere. The day after, the gang learns that Rebecca and Robin did it, not only the first time for them but the first time for Rebecca in four years. Rebecca and Robin's romantic evening made it's way to Little Wally's Pup and Burger - a greasy spoon - before they did the deed. The evening included Rebecca telling Robin about her sensory romantic button, the song You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling by The Righteous Brothers. In response, Robin had the song played on his radio station all night. The next day, he brings 'Bill Medley' of The Righteous Brothers to Cheers to serenade Rebecca with a personal rendition of the song. Rebecca is in seventh heaven already, but things are brought to an even more unimaginable state for her when on their next date, Robin tells her he loves her. Rebecca, in her euphoria, wants to celebrate her happiness with her friends at the bar, and invites them all the the place where it all started, Little Wally's Pup and Burger. After the group dinner, Sam and Rebecca are the last two to leave the restaurant. Rebecca needs to step into the ladies room for a second when Sam spots Robin on a date with another woman. What is Sam to do?
- Sam's good intentions backfire on him when he doesn't place a risky $1,000 bet for Woody with his bookie, only to have Woody win his bet.
- After suffering a humiliating loss to Gary's Olde Town Tavern in softball, the gang at Cheers challenges their rivals to a bowling tournament.
- Against Sam's better judgment, Diane tries to help her former homicidal blind date Andy become an actor.
- Ludlow is Carla's son, fathered by Frasier's mentor, Dr. Bennett Ludlow. Ludlow has some of his father in him: he's an intellectual and enjoys cultural things in life, like the opera and classical music, unlike Carla's other children. Frasier and Lilith want to take Ludlow to the opera, both because they want to help Ludlow further his interest in the arts, but also to find out if they are parent material as they're thinking about having children of their own. Ludlow is enamored with the opera and Frasier and Lilith are equally as enamored with Ludlow and want to do more cultural activities with him. Carla feels like she's losing him to another social class. After a week of Frasier and Lilith doing everything with Ludlow, Carla puts her foot down when they want to take him out to the most exclusive restaurant in town, if only because she wants some time with her own son. But Carla gives in yet again. However Sam talks Frasier and Lilith into asking Carla along as well. At dinner, the Cranes ultimately see another side of Ludlow. With others in the bar, Woody is going to his first country club dinner with Kelly, and wants to drive there instead of taking the bus like he and Kelly usually do on their dates. Carless, he asks Sam if he can borrow his car. Will Sam, who lives for his 'vette, do this favor for his friend?
- Sam loans Diane $500 to buy a book autographed by Ernest Hemmingway. She later gives the book to Sam as collateral until she pays back the loan, but Sam accidentally destroys it.
- 1982–199330mTV-PG7.8 (435)TV EpisodeFrasier is trying to add a little culture to the guys' lives by reading them Dickens. When the guys initially show disinterest, Frasier has to rewrite Dickens and add a few Cheers inspired sensibilities to the stories. Meanwhile, Rebecca is in a funk in the aftermath of her and Robin breaking up. First she locks herself in the bar office for three days - still in her wedding dress - then, with the help of Woody, his clothes, his car and his credit cards, she decides to fly back to San Diego to sort out her life. Sam leaves her a telephone voice message, which, although unintended on his part, one could construe by the actual message that he is in love with her. Rebecca calls back and leaves Sam a message saying that she is returning to Boston because of his message. Sam is in a panic since he thinks Rebecca is coming back to Boston wanting to start something serious with him. Not knowing how to deal with this, Sam resorts to devising what he calls Plan Z, the most drastic of measures. Regardless of Rebecca's wants, Sam has to go through with the plan if only to prove he's not a wussy little 'fraidy cat. After getting a bloody nose, he realizes he's not a wussy little fraidy cat.
- Sam gets locked out of his apartment and is on a hunt for a place to stay.
- The bar's furnace is on the fritz, so Rebecca calls the furnace company to fix the problem. While she's got them on the phone, she has to crawl in through the vent in the wall - usually covered by a grate - to get some information. Carla uses this opportunity to put the grate back into place and leave Rebecca locked in the vent in the wall. Later, on Paul's advice, Rebecca tries to get back at Carla with a similar stunt, but... With other official bar business, Sam offers the bar employees a medical plan, for which each employee must take a blood test. Carla refuses as she's scared of needles. Frasier uses his psychiatric skills to get Carla over her fear. Meanwhile, Woody and Kelly are having their official engagement party, at which Woody will meet for the first time Grandmother Gaines, who has a reputation for being tough as nails. Equally as troublesome for Woody is that he cannot afford Kelly's engagement ring and is forced to work a second job at a graveyard to pay for it. The second job takes its toll on Woody as he's not getting any sleep and is further exhausted by selling his blood. This day is particularly bad as he further took his employee blood test at the bar, and had a tough night at the graveyard with the difficult burial of Mrs. Jane Vanderhoeven, whose casket kept on popping open. What's worse is that he forgot that the Gaines' moved the day of the party up one day to today. Woody's in no real shape to go, but he has no choice. At the party, Woody is still a little woozy, but he has to meet Grandmother Gaines. Woody is totally freaked when he meets Grandmother Gaines: he swears that she is the supposedly deceased Mrs. Jane Vanderhoeven, the woman he buried last night. Grandmother Gaines wants to have a private talk with Woody, for which he is obviously frightened. Woody's fright is taken to a new level by what Grandmother Gaines has to say to him.
- Sam is facing crises at work: his cash flow is minimal and he's having troubles with all the new technical gizmos installed by Rebecca, like the computer and fax machine. With the latter, he is wanting Rebecca back to manage the bar, but suspects she wouldn't come back. She says as much as she has a new job in public relations. So Sam hires Earl, a retired baseballer, and a whiz at bar management. Meanwhile, Rebecca really is the new Miss Miracle Buff at the car show, she who is asked to do demeaning and quite dangerous things like wipe acid and boiling tar off the cars. Sam and Woody see her at the car show, and discover that she really would like her job at the bar back. Sam decides to hire her back. The one problem however is that he's hired Earl, who everybody thinks is the perfect person, period. But being the perfect person, Earl gladly steps aside for Rebecca, but not before a firm but loving chastisement of Sam.
- Diane calls Sam to tell him that she is marrying Frasier tomorrow, and Sam flies to Italy at the last minute to stop the wedding.
- Sam gets a call from an old flame, Judy Marlowe. Sam and Judy haven't seen each other in fifteen years. Back then, Judy, a divorcée, and Sam spent much of their time together with Judy's young daughter, Laurie. Upon meeting again, Sam is relieved to see that Judy is still a knock-out. What he doesn't expect though is that Laurie is now all grown up and is equally as beautiful as her mother. Sam being Sam has the hots for both Judy and Laurie, and beyond the warnings of Frasier, tries to date both. Meanwhile, Rebecca hires Woody as a clown to entertain at a corporate children's party. At the last minute, Woody is called in for a real acting job and has to ditch the party clown job. Rebecca demands that Frasier take Woody's place as he was the one who suggested she hire Woody. What Woody forgets to tell Frasier about is the handkerchief trick - pulling out the handkerchief from the clown's lapel pocket makes his pants fall down around his ankles. What's worse for the unsuspecting Frasier is that he has been wearing a new pair of French cut underwear that Lilith bought for him.
- Betty Sternin, Lilith's mother, is coming to Boston for a visit. Frasier is dreading the thought as Betty is not the most easy going person in the world and Lilith cannot stand up to her mother. Frasier vows not to argue with Betty during her visit. Even Betty gets the best of Carla. Since Betty missed her daughter's wedding, she wants Frasier and Lilith to renew their vows. Betty takes control of the situation. Lilith, feeling steamrolled into doing something she doesn't want to do, has to get up the nerve to stand up to her mother for the first time in her life. Meanwhile, Sam finagles a trip to Atlantic City with Debbie, a dumb blonde he meets in the bar. Norm asks Sam to make a large bet for him, which comes through. Rebecca and Sam hope Norm will apply his large windfall to his ever growing bar tab. Subtle hints don't seem to be working. Less than subtle hints don't seem to be working either. But Norm has his own plans for the money.
- Sam begins dating a city Councilwoman who is running for reelection, but Diane is convinced that she is just using him and will dump him after she is reelected.
- Councilwoman Eldridge tells Sam to fire Diane because she's insecure about having one of Sam's former lovers working at the bar. However, Diane accidentally overhears the conversation and tries to beat him to the punch.
- Sam and Rebecca are preparing for the grand reopening of Cheers. One of Rebecca's last tasks is to deal with the telephone repairman, a Lothario called Bernard who mistakenly thinks he's God's gift to women. Bernard has a belief system about every woman, including Rebecca, who turns down his advances. In the intervening time, Woody has been on his honeymoon with Kelly, although honeymoon is not quite what they would call it as they fought the entire time regarding their religious differences which they see as a major obstacle in having a meaningful and successful marriage. Woody is Lutheran Church of Missouri Synod whereas Kelly is Lutheran Church of America. The Drs. Crane suggest group counseling, in which Lilith and Frasier highlight their own on the most part successful marriage despite their differing religious backgrounds. But it's Frasier's simple advice to Woody that may at least partly solve Woody's problem. Carla has been making ends meet working at a chain bar called Mr. Pubb's. She has hated every minute of her time there, a place where the people are just a little too happy for Carla's taste, a place where she too has been forced to be happy, and a place where she is required to wear a dorky uniform. She is all ready to complete her last shift before heading back to Cheers. Sam sends Norm and Cliff to retrieve Carla, just to make sure she gets back to Cheers in time. Sam later sends Paul, Tim and Alan to retrieve Norm and Cliff. At Mr. Pubb's, Norm, Cliff, Paul, Tim, Alan and Carla ultimately get sidetracked by all that Mr. Pubb's has to offer them - for Carla which includes the hefty paycheck, more than she could get waitressing anywhere else - which may threaten any of them ever returning to Cheers. A blast from the past may at least convince Carla that Mr. Pubb's is not for her.
- When Sam publicly supports an old teammate who has come out of the closet, Norm and the gang are afraid that "Cheers" will become a "gay bar."
- Rebecca is in agony. She's not sleeping because she's having erotic dreams about Sam. She's used to dreaming about the rich and powerful, like Evan Drake, Donald Trump, Ted Turner and Robin Colcord. To help her over her troubles, she asks Frasier and Lilith for some free advice. The problem with that act is not so much their advice or lack thereof, but that Sam overhears. To capitalize on this new information, Carla suggests to Sam that he make Rebecca go to sleep, and as she gets to the part in her dream where she and Sam are getting it on - and Sam should be able to tell by Rebecca's moaning and rolling around - he translate the fantasy of the dream into reality by actually being there in the flesh. He thinks it's a good idea. Rebecca reluctantly takes a nap in her office. When she's asleep, Sam sneaks into her office and places what he thinks are suggestions into her head. Sam's move doesn't have quite the effect he was hoping but he still may end up with the girl after all, unless someone else walks into the office.
- Norm gets in trouble with the law after he helps Cliff out by finishing his mail route, and Cliff hangs him out to dry. Meanwhile, Diane gets stuck underneath the bar while trying to check the heating system.
- Carla, questioning Rebecca's potential parenting skills, bets her $5 that she can't take care of an egg for three days. Despite a rocky start, Rebecca seems like she's going to win the bet. Or does Carla have other things on her mind? Meanwhile, Norm is doing another paint job for the Cranes, during which Frasier accidentally falls on top of Norm, causing a bruised disk in Norm's back. Because Vera is away and Norm is immobile, Frasier suggests that Norm stay at their house on the couch until Vera returns. Lilith reluctantly agrees. Lilith ends up being at Norm's beck and call, especially getting him one beer after another. Just as Lilith is at the end of her rope, Norm offers his gratitude to her - she can't now kick him out. But there's another problem: Norm can't go to the bar, so the bar comes to Norm. How much will Lilith be able to handle of people, especially the Cheers gang, invading her house?
- Diane convinces Sam to go to Frasier with fake depression symptoms so that Frasier can analyze him and get his confidence back as a psychiatrist. But Frasier comes back with a diagnosis that Sam's depressed because he's still in love with Diane.
- Frasier and Lilith's wedding is nearing, and their best man and maid of honor, Sam and a very surprised Rebecca, are throwing them each a bachelor/bachelorette party. However Lilith is annoyed at Frasier's increased frequency of snide remarks about marriage and sees it possibly as a sign he is having second thoughts. So she says to him directly that she will give him his freedom if he so desires, and will await a telephone call from him after the party to tell her if he still wants to get married. An unexpected guest at the bachelor party makes Frasier really contemplate into what he's about to enter. Frasier calls Rebecca's, where the bachelorette party is being held, to talk to Lilith. That call makes Frasier think even more about the wedding. Lilith has made a decision of her own, one induced by alcohol, a male stripper and a missed telephone call. By the end of the evening, Sam comes to some conclusions of his own about the joys of single life.
- 1982–199330mTV-PG7.8 (481)TV EpisodeWhile discussing exciting things in their lives, Woody tells the gang that he was just an extra on the TV show Spenser: For Hire (1985), and that he had rubbed elbows with its star, Robert Urich. Everyone is excited for Woody until they see the episode on TV, where Woody claims that the ubiquitous "white shirt" on the screen is him. After that, everyone in the bar is skeptical of his story, until... Meanwhile, Norm is painting Cliff's apartment. Norm is expecting to get paid, while Cliff is expecting it to be a freebie, especially in light of the fact that Norm painted Ma Clavin's house for free - when Norm was not a professional painter - and that Cliff regards painting as menial work that even a trained monkey could do. This disagreement causes a rift between friends. A tit for tat may either resolve the rift or make it worse. Elsewhere in the bar, Rebecca has booked the pool room to a woman's book club every Sunday night to add a little class to the establishment. The book club adds something to the bar, but class is probably not among those attributes.
- Rebecca cuts off unemployed Norm for being unable to pay his hefty bar tab. To pay off Norm's bar tab, Sam convinces Rebecca to give Norm a job at the bar, ultimately deciding on painting her "unneeded to be painted" office. Based partly on a telephone call that Rebecca receives from her boss and unrequited love Evan Drake, Norm and Rebecca begin to bond, this being the first human emotion Rebecca has shown anyone at Cheers. Based on this new bond, Rebecca asks Norm to paint her apartment. Since Norm tells Sam and Carla a bit about what happened between him and Rebecca, Sam sees this new painting job as his next "in" into Rebecca's personal life.
- Frasier is not having a good day. First his latest paper is attacked by a noted colleague, then second he comes down with an uncontrollable case of the hiccups. But his troubles are nothing compared to Rebecca's. Evan Drake, her boss and unrequited love, comes by the bar at a time when she is a physical mess from changing a tire. That and the fact that she has turned down every date from men in the company has led Mr. Drake to suspect that she is a lesbian, which Rebecca is horrified to learn. Mr. Drake invites Rebecca and whomever she chooses to be her date - perhaps a woman? - to a black-tie function. Since Rebecca has not had a date in the two years she's been lusting after Mr. Drake, she doesn't have a man upon who she call to bring. Sam volunteers, and based on circumstances, Rebecca takes him up on his offer. At the party, she, in her mind, needs to convince Mr. Drake that she is not only a heterosexual but that she is attracted to him. Her bold but unexpected actions evoke a slightly different reaction from Mr. Drake. Sam tries to smooth the resulting waters, while helping himself in the process.
- One of Diane's old college friends comes to the bar. She is vulnerable and looking for a man to give her an afternoon of unbridled passion, and Sam predictably jumps at the opportunity.
- Evan Drake wants to speak to Rebecca about something important. She thinks it is finally to tell her that he loves her. In her mind, all the signs are there: since his divorce, he has had many of his business meals at Melville's so that he can be close to her, and he is currently in her office using her phone with his mouth inches away from where her own mouth is so often. He however tells her that he has accepted a job to take over the corporation's Japanese division and is off to Japan for good that evening. She is devastated. Sam feels that she needs to tell Drake how she feels before he takes off, or else she'll be in romantic limbo for the rest of her life. Sam even plans a party for Drake to give her such an opportunity. Opportunity after opportunity fails that evening for Rebecca to tell him what she wants, but as she finagles her way to drive him to the airport... What Rebecca does end up saying places a kibosh on Sam's own plans with Rebecca.
- The gang thinks that since it's St. Patrick's Day - one of the busiest bar days of the year - Gary of Gary's Olde Towne Tavern is about ready to strike on Cheers despite Rebecca and Gary having previously drawn an agreement to stop the pranks against each other. But Tecumseh, the Indian statue standing at the entrance of the bar, is missing, and the gang think that it's Gary who stole it. After Sam, Norm and Cliff close down Gary's bar with padlocks, toxic warning signs and police tape, they find out that Rebecca sent Tecumseh out solely to be varnished. Thus, the gang await the wrath of Gary. When the fire marshal arrives for the bar's six month inspection, the gang thinks he is Gary's revenge, which he isn't. Their collective nerves are so frayed waiting for Gary to hit, that Cliff suggests they, as an act of peace and good faith to Gary, sabotage themselves before Gary can. They finally learn what Gary's St. Patrick's Day plan is, which they believe is the worse thing he's ever done to them. Another outcome of the plan is that everyone in the bar ends up targeting one of their own.
- Sam makes plans for a romantic getaway with a local journalist. But Diane overhears parts of his conversations and jumps to the incorrect conclusion that he is making plans to spend the weekend with her.
- Sam couldn't stop the wedding, but Frasier tells him that Diane left him at the altar and is now working at a convent. So Sam visits Diane to ask her to come back to Cheers. Meanwhile, Woody comes to Boston to look for a job and becomes Cheers's new bartender after his pen pal Coach died.
- The Cranes have received some devastating news: their one-year old son, Frederick, is intellectually average, the manifestation of which is that he has yet to utter his first word. Lilith thinks that it's because they as parents don't spend enough time with him. Lilith decides that she will be a stay at home Mom. When Lilith uncovers her domestic inabilities, Frasier takes over. But Frasier's idea of care-taking his son is to take him to Cheers and hang out with the guys, of which Lilith is unaware. Lilith is depressed that she sees Frasier as a better parent than her, that is until she finds that he has spent the day with Frederick at the bar. Nonetheless, Frederick's stay at Cheers has an unexpected but in Lilith's mind successful outcome. Meanwhile, Rebecca receives a dirty love letter from Robin, which is making her pine for some physical contact with him. Unfortunately for her, he is not allowed conjugal visits. Carla thinks Rebecca should make her next visit with Robin a conjugal one anyway, Rebecca thinking the usually deserted prison garden the perfect place. Will Robin go along with the idea, which, if caught, means his upcoming parole is in jeopardy? Frederick also speaks his first word.
- It's the Christmas season. Frasier is in a anti-Christmas bah-humbug mood much to Lilith's chagrin. Norm has a part-time job he fails to mention. And Cliff is collecting food for the needy all in an effort to win a trip to Disney World. Rebecca has Carla, Woody and Sam all working Christmas Eve as will she. Carla doesn't mind the extra money. Woody isn't going back to Hanover so he doesn't mind. But Sam hates working what he considers the holiday. When it's close to closing time on Christmas Eve, Carla, Woody and Sam decide to exchange their gifts with each other. That's when Sam learns that everyone seems to have a present for Rebecca - which he doesn't - and in turn Rebecca has a gift for everyone. In a panic, Sam rushes out trying to find somewhere - anywhere - that is still open so he can get a gift for her. The second problem may be to find something appropriate, which strikes that perfect balance of being not too expensive but still saying "I want to sleep with you". He may get his wish with the latter.
- Diane rejects Cliff's request to be his date for the postman's ball, so he asks Carla, who will go with him--for a price. But what will he do when Diane reconsiders and decides to go with him?
- Diane uses Sam as a case study for a paper in her Human Sexuality class, but she paints an unflattering picture of him. Meanwhile, Woody challenges Carla to a sports trivia contest, and Cliff grows a unique squash.
- Sam and Diane have a harrowing near-death experience as passengers on a plane flown by one of Diane's ex-lovers.
- Spurred by Frasier's desire to find his inner "hairy man", Frasier, Sam, Norm and Cliff embark on a spontaneous one-week road trip across America. They need to take Cliff's car since it is the one that will comfortably fit the four and their gear. One dark evening out on a deserted back road in the desert, Sam falls asleep at the wheel and crashes the car. The guys are physically all right, but the car needs repairs. Their emotions start to fray when all attempts to fix the car - many of the problems due to the booby traps Cliff has placed on the car in the name of theft security - fail, they're locked out of the car, Frasier's cell phone dies and ultimately pragmatist Frasier states that they may be in real trouble. Perhaps things will look better in the morning. They do look better for Norm. Back at the bar, Carla hires extra help since Woody is currently away. She hires her naive, but handsome tight jeans and shirt wearing nephew, Frankie. All the women at the bar can't stop ogling his tight butt. Usually one to ogle a tight butt herself, Carla has to take action to protect her naive nephew.
- Everyone isn't loving Norm, but rather trying to gross him out. They're trying to see what gross things they can think of that would be so off-putting as to make him stop drinking beer. It ends up being a near impossible task, until... Paul isn't feeling the love from the guys. He feels left out of Norm and Cliff's outings. Norm and Cliff try to make it up to him, but Norm and Cliff being Norm and Cliff... Sam isn't feeling the love from Rebecca. After six months of trying to conceive a baby, so far unsuccessfully, Rebecca thinks they should go to a fertility clinic to check themselves out. Sam is squeamish about doing so. Once Rebecca finds out that there is nothing wrong with her, she assumes that Sam is infertile. Still squeamish, Sam finally does end up going to the clinic for tests. But Sam is still so anxious about the results and is bothering Carla so much about it, Carla unilaterally decides to put Sam out of his misery, which ultimately affects Lilith. And Frasier isn't feeling the love from Lilith. They are preparing their wills. Frasier, squeamish about talking about his mortality, feels Lilith is being too clinical about the life and death of the supposed love of her life.
- Evan Drake is in Europe and has hired Norm to paint his house, Norm tells Rebecca that she can come over and look around the bedroom, which is what he is up to. While Rebecca is up there Mr. Drake comes home early and so Rebecca has to hide. Mr. Drake, a very light sleeper is tired as hell and just wants to sleep. Norm can't think of anything and so has to leave her there, after telling the gang at the bar he is sent back there to bail her out. After many failed attempts Norm finally succeeds in two things one getting Rebecca out, and two convincing Mr. Drake that he(Norm) is crazy. Fraiser tells the gang about a patient he saw that morning who is REALLY hot for dancers or anything having to do with dancing, after Fraiser leaves a beautiful girl comes to the bar looking for Fraiser because she had a session with him that morning and left a package in his office Sam likes her and decides to dance his way into her pants. Sam is dancing his brains out and nothing so he asks Fraiser about the beautiful girl he counseled in the morning, Frasier tells him he saw two beautiful girls in the morning one dance-loving and the other fire-loving(pyromaniac), Sam is trying to figure out pyromania when he hears sirens and runs out of the bar.
- The guys decide to have a poker game in the back room. Sam is a bit hesitant to play as he doesn't want to leave Rebecca alone in charge of the bar. Rebecca is offended by this notion, so Sam does join the poker game and leaves Rebecca in charge. Rebecca is invigorated by this challenge. One of her first challenges is that a letter comes back with insufficient postage. It is the renewal for the bar's liquor license, which has now expired because of the undelivered letter. Rebecca was supposed to send it in two weeks ago. Rebecca doesn't want Sam to know about this blunder. As Carla finds out that they can get the renewal done in person tomorrow, Rebecca does whatever she can to manage and run the bar without the license for the day. A wrench may be thrown into the proceedings by a disgruntled neighbor. By the end of the day, Rebecca's reputation as not only a competent business person, but a competent person, period, is on the line. If she's not, things could come crashing down around her.
- Woody has developed a disease: Home-Shopping-Channel-itis. He has just discovered the channel's existence, and can't stop buying stuff from it. He realizes the stuff he is buying is crap, but just can't help himself. Although it doesn't cure his desire, his credit card company helps him out as he is over his credit limit, forcing him to go cold turkey. Meanwhile, Norm and his accomplice Cliff have decided to be puppet masters by putting people in situations they know will cause a conflict. They first start with Rebecca and Carla with a work situation. Their next target is Sam and Frasier. Frasier and Lilith are in the bar for drinks with some work colleagues and Frasier is going to pay with his gold credit card. Norm and Cliff manage to get the credit card number and report the card stolen to the credit card company just before Sam is about to call for authorization for Frasier's purchases at the bar. When Sam calls, the company informs Sam that he can't accept the card because it's been reported stolen. Frasier finds this incredulous since obviously he still has the card. Still, Sam cannot accept payment with such and offers to help Frasier out by having the drinks on the house, starting a bar tab for him or even giving him his own credit cards as replacements. Frasier finds these suggestions by Sam insulting. The one thing Sam cannot do is give Frasier his card back as Sam is required to cut up the card and send it back to the credit card company. Sam snips the card in half in front of Frasier's eyes, to which Frasier gasps in horror. Because he sees this act from his so-called friend as being intentionally hurtful and humiliating, Frasier vows to leave Cheers and never come back. For Norm and Cliff, this prank has gone a little farther than they anticipated or wanted. Sam ultimately has his revenge with a little help from a withdrawal laden Woody.
- Two unlikely customers enter the bar: One is an 80+ year old who is the only arrival for his WWI squad's reunion, and the other is an awkward virgin looking for a night of drinking and fun before he becomes a monk.
- Sam and Diane's new relationship together gets off to a shaky start, which comes as no surprise to anyone at the bar.
- Rebecca is on a healthy eating kick and is trying to convince others in the bar to join her. The guys do join her in enjoying rice cakes, which they use for other purposes. Meanwhile, Lilith is in mourning as her favorite lab rat, Whitey, has died. Frasier offers sympathy, that is until he finds out that she is carrying the dead rat in her purse. Frasier throws Whitey in the garbage, and when Lilith finds out, she does the same to Frasier - throw him in the garbage, that is. Lilith has banished Frasier from the house, and thus he's forced to sleep on the bar's couch in his suit. Unfortunately, this tiff coincides with an important meeting they have to get Frederick into an exclusive preschool. They need to hold off their anger toward each other long enough to make it through the interview, but some item association at the interview makes them come to an important realization. Sam is also in mourning, but is mourning the loss of a beautiful woman, who he never really had since she is rebuking him. But Sam finds out what he believes to be the incredulous reason for her rebuke.
- Cliff is downing prescription pills to relieve a work stress-related skin condition. He is, however, taking more than the prescribed dosage. Cliff finds out a side effect of massive dosage, a fact the gang at the bar won't let him forget. Meanwhile, Lilith has written a new book, Good Girls/Bad Boys, the book's premise being that women are initially attracted to what she deems bad boys. However, as women get over that need, they will seek out stable good boys. Lilith is promoting the book on a local women's afternoon talk show. Frasier, not wanting to be the only man in the audience, talks Sam into going with him. At the show, Lilith wants the discussion to be on the scientific merits of her research, whereas Brenda Balzac, the host, is more interested in the salacious aspects of the book's title. In the audience, she sees both Frasier and Sam, who she deems to be the typical good boy and bad boy as portrayed in Lilith's book. An outcome of the show is that Frasier wants to become a bad boy. He especially doesn't like the analogy of good boys being like comfortable old shoes or, worse yet, ratty old slippers, not to be seen outside the house. So Frasier decides to don leather and he ends up hooking up with Ellen aka Viper, a motorcyclist. Viper makes Frasier wake up to the reality of what a bad boy life is all about.
- Sam's brother, whom he feels inferior to, shows up at the bar and sweeps Diane off her feet. Sam doesn't want her to go off with him because he wants her for himself, but he doesn't have the guts to admit it.
- Rebecca and the company are forcing Woody to take a vacation, something he has not done since he's started working at Cheers. The company is sending him to Italy, and he's not happy about it. But he goes. He ends up having a great vacation, but... Meanwhile, Lilith is well into her pregnancy and is becoming the stereotypical Earth Mother. Frasier is embarrassed by the way she's acting. However he changes his tune when he listens to the baby's heartbeat for the first time. He then becomes Earth Father. As part of this revelation, the Cranes relinquish the materialism of their lives and decide to live solely off the land out in the wilderness in a cabin Frasier intends to build. Realizing that they are true urbanites, Sam convinces them to try it for a week in a friend's cabin first before making up their minds for good. This pilot project shows them where geographically their hearts truly lie.
- Frasier is still wallowing in Lilith's announcement that she is leaving him for her colleague, Dr. Louis Pascal. What's worse, she has decided to let Frasier have sole custody of Frederick - or in Frasier's mind, abandoning her only child - and live in an underground bubble in the desert, an "eco-pod" with Dr. Pascal. The eco-pod is Dr. Pascal's primary scientific experiment. She wants a trial separation for the time she's gone to live in the eco-pod. She's sees her act as the first and only time she's let loose in her life. Frasier's response is to get on the ledge of a third floor window above the bar threatening to jump. Lilith comes to the scene to try and talk him off the ledge, telling him in all sincerity that she will go back to him if he doesn't kill himself. With that announcement, Frasier, still in love with Lilith, has some words for Dr. Pascal as he commits his final act in the matter.
- Don Santry walks into the bar and into Rebecca's life. He's the repairman called in to fix the bar tap. Although Don is not Rebecca's usual type, Frasier talks her into taking a chance when she states that someone like a Don is what she should be going after. Quickly, she falls head over heals, but Sam thinks she's settling for second best. He wants Rebecca to be his fall-back if in a couple of years he has not found "Mrs. Malone". Rebecca shoots back that he is an aging Lothario way past his prime. Frasier suggests to Sam, who is hurt by Rebecca's comments, that perhaps there is some truth to Rebecca's assertion about him and that he would benefit by group therapy for sexual compulsives. Sam does go to the meeting, and after a rough start, he does admit that perhaps he is no longer happy with his life.
- Sam catches Rebecca smoking in the office, a no-no considering that's how the bar burnt down. Sam thinks Rebecca needs professional help and finds the harshest stop smoking program for her. The stop smoking doctor, Dr. Kluger, and Rebecca, have a war of wills. Dr. Kluger may have met his match. Meanwhile, Sam hires Henrí on a temporary basis as a bartender while Woody is on his honeymoon. On his first shift, ladies-man Henrí bets Sam that he can get more women's telephone numbers than Sam by midnight. Although initially reluctant to partake in the bet despite pressure from the gang, Sam eventually does take the bet based on the patriotic battle between the US and France. Both Sam and Henrí pull out all the stops and resort to whatever tactic will work to get numbers. However, with the score tied with a couple of minutes left, Sam lets one go due to her vulnerable state, which may cost Sam the bet. However it may be more important ultimately to win the battle.
- Norm is swamped with painting work, so Rebecca and Woody suggest he hire some painters to work under him. Norm is reluctant as he wouldn't know how to act as the boss. He does end up hiring three guys - Rudy, John and Scott - who end up being more buddies than employees. Their work ethic is lax. When Norm thinks out loud that he needs to hire another tough guy to be the boss, Frasier suggests that all he needs to do is develop an alter ego. The alter ego Norm develops is named Anton Kreitzer, who is akin to a Nazi dictator. To further the masquerade, Norm rents office space for him and Kreitzer, and hires a meek secretary named Doris, who obviously has never met Kreitzer despite sitting outside his office every day. Rudy, John and Scott want to confront Kreitzer for his rough treatment not only of them but of Norm as well. Will Rudy and the guy's figure out Norm's ruse? Meanwhile, Sam is trying to save money to buy back the bar, but things are going slowly. Rebecca suggests he sell his beloved Corvette to raise the money. After deliberating, he decides to do so, but he makes the process difficult for anyone to buy the car. After selling it and getting a cheaper replacement vehicle, he has seller's remorse. Can he get his beloved car back?
- After Frasier suggests that she change her hair style, Lilith does get a new hairdo. Can it get any worse than her tight as a wound bun? Meanwhile, it's Norm's birthday and among his gifts is a Boston Celtics jacket personally delivered by Kevin McHale. Before Kevin leaves the bar, he gets caught up in the typical trivia talk of Norm and Cliff, namely how many bolts there are in the Boston Garden basketball court. Carla warns Kevin of the obsessive power of bar trivia, but she's too late. Kevin is obsessed with knowing the number of bolts, which no one can tell him conclusively. He's up in the middle of the night wondering, but what's worse, his basketball skills plummet as he's busy counting the bolts rather than paying attention to the game. Sam, Norm, Cliff and Woody decide to go to the Garden to count the bolts so that Kevin can get back on track. Will they be able to find out conclusively the number of bolts to save the Celtics? Or will they make the situation even worse by their antics at the Garden?
- Diane and her date, Jordan Brundidge, have managed to secure reservations at the latest "it" restaurant in Boston called The Cafe. Sam thinks that perhaps he should take his latest conquest, Darlene, there as well. Diane laughs in his face as The Cafe is not the type of place one can call up on the spur of the moment and expect a table. Sam thinks that he can seeing to his local celebrity status. He calls and Diane seems to be right. Even Frasier can't manage to call in a favor from an old colleague, Dr. Julian Weinstein, a world famous transplant surgeon and gourmet, who would be able to get a last minute reservation there. Sam does whatever it takes to show his superiority over Diane in this matter, even if it takes a little false advertising. His false advertising leads to an uncomfortable night both for himself and Diane. Meanwhile, Woody is determined to concoct a new bar drink that doesn't taste like sewer water.
- Sam and Diane are tired of Coach being a third wheel and interrupting their alone time, so they set him up on a date.
- Sam has to find a woman named Jacqueline Bisset and marry her so that he can win a bet he made when he was off the wagon and keep the bar.
- Sam agrees to be Carla's date for her ex-husband Nick's wedding. And Sam's appearance makes Nick jealous, and causes him to ask Carla to take him back.
- It's time for the 53rd annual Miss Boston Barmaid contest, and this year it's being held at Cheers again, but Sam's not happy. The contest organizers have changed the format where beauty, chest size and overall bimbo-ness account for nothing. Rather, it's now a contest of true waitressing skills. Despite this, Carla is not interested in entering - she knows she can be the best waitress in the world if she wants to be (self-admittedly, her "friendliness" quotient is a bit lacking) and doesn't need anyone to tell her so - until she learns that first prize is a new Mazda Miata convertible. She will do anything to win that car. On the day of the contest, she obtains a confidential document naming the three judges, one of whom is none other than Cheers' own Cliff. Norm convinces Carla that to win the contest, Carla has to be nice to Cliff, not exactly the easiest thing in the world to do for Carla. Carla has to decide if the Miata or being nasty to Cliff is of greater priority. By contest time, Carla will learn if she made the right decision. At the end of it all, at least Sam's faith in the world is restored.
- Coach wants to ask out an attractive younger woman, but he doesn't have the guts. Sam sets his sights on her too, but he keeps getting shot down--badly.
- After Carla meets Darryl Mead, a Red Sox player who she has been lusting after and who has a mutual attraction for her, she mourns the fact that she is married. With Eddie constantly away with the ice show, she has all the disadvantages of marriage and none of the benefits. Her mourning turns into that of another kind when she receives news that Eddie has been killed suddenly saving an ice show performer - another penguin - from being run over by a Zamboni. Things turn worse when she finds out at the funeral service that there is another Mrs. Eddie LeBec, a woman by the name of Gloria who also claims to be Eddie's widow. Gloria even claims to have had twins with him. Carla is angry and confused, and would really like to know what was in Eddie's mind for marrying another woman and what was truly in his heart toward her. Finding out this information may be the only way Carla will be able to grieve Eddie's death properly.
- Because Gary's Olde Towne Tavern is advertising heavily, Sam and Rebecca decide to hire an ad company to write a jingle for the bar. As Rebecca has only $200 to spend on such, the ad company foists Sy Flembeck, their resident hack writer, onto the Cheers account. Sy is not very creative or original. All his jingles are placed to the tune of Old MacDonald Had a Farm, and spell out the establishment's name in place of "E-I-E-I-O", even if there are more or less than five letters. But Sy's approach to jingles may actually have the desired if unintended effect of good advertisement. Meanwhile, Maggie O'Keefe has come back to Boston and wants to see Cliff. Once Cliff sees Maggie, he faints: she's very pregnant, supposedly with his child. However, Cliff doesn't believe that he is the father because... Cliff decides to marry Maggie anyway. Before Maggie decides what to do about Cliff's proposal, she has some additional news for Cliff about their past relationship.
- Sam is dating a young woman named Erin. Sam meets Erin on the pretense that he is totally into athletics - tennis, hiking, cycling, running to name a few activities - since she implies that's what she's into, and will only date men like that. After a few dates, he becomes so tired that he feels he needs to call it off with her, but will he be truthful about the reason? A little less active are Norm and Rebecca. Norm hasn't had a painting job in months. Rebecca just had another interview at corporate for a marketing executive job, but seems to be is getting nowhere in the company. So she suggests to Norm that she use her considerable marketing skills to help him market his painting company. Norm is reluctant to do so, until Rebecca threatens him with something called his bar tab. Rebecca has an expensive marketing plan up her sleeve. In Rebecca's mind, Norm's company is her new career when they get their first new client based on the marketing. When she finds out that she lost the corporate job to someone less qualified and after Norm gets his first lucrative painting job, she decides to go down to corporate to tell off the CEO, Mr. Anawalt. After she leaves, Norm finds out they lost their one and only client. Will Norm catch her before she tells off Anawalt, or will she lose three jobs - the corporate executive job, the job with Norm, and her job at Cheers - in one day?
- Despite being a self-professed womanizer himself, Sam can no longer support Robin's cheating on Rebecca since she is his friend. Sam managed to get Rebecca out of Little Wally's with an exaggerated lie without her spotting Robin with his other date, but he is now regretting doing so, that is until Robin bribes Sam's silence by promising to buy Cheers back for him. Sam ultimately decides to decline the bribe and tell Rebecca the truth. When he does, she doesn't believe him. She thinks he's just jealous. But Rebecca learns the truth when she hides in Robin's limousine to surprise him, when in turn he surprises her when his other date, ballerina Christine Davi, bounds into the limousine. Christine has some morals and dumps Robin right then and there. Perhaps Rebecca has some morals as well, but it's going to take a little while for herself to figure that out. With Christine out of the way, Robin's affections are down to two: Rebecca and a chargé d'affaires at the French consulate. Rebecca has to decide between how best to get Robin or do what is right. Maybe both will result in the same end goal.
- Rebecca is still smarting from Evan Drake's departure to Japan. So instead of men, she focuses her energies on furthering her career - she figures that Evan Drake took all the key players from the company to Japan with him, and thus all those that knew she is a "washout" are now all gone - and buying a Mercedes. But realistically, her defenses are weakened, so when Sam asks her out again, she accepts, albeit without much enthusiasm. Just as Rebecca and Sam are about to go on their first date, Rebecca's new boss, Greg Stone, comes to the bar. Rebecca, having a boss fixation, drops Sam at the sight of Mr. Stone. For her, it is love at first sight all over again. He bursts her bubble though. He figures the bar did better under Sam's direction, so he appoints Sam as the new manager and fires Rebecca. This news sends Rebecca into a deep shock, but also makes Sam miserable as he hates managing a bar in a corporate style. Sam tries to get Rebecca her job back all the while hoping that Rebecca will be so grateful as to succumb fully to his advances.
- It Frasier's birthday, and since he's never had a birthday party, the gang at the bar go all out and throw him one. However they make him do all the work for it. Lilith is trying to figure out what to get, and has decided on professional photographs of herself done for him. Hiring Woody's nemesis Henrí as photographer, Lilith initially doesn't quite know what kind of photos to take - composed and formal or seductive - and ends up doing her own kind of seductive. It's definitely not Norm's birthday as Vera has lost her job. What's worse, Rebecca gets Vera a job as a hat check girl at Melville's. As such, Vera has in Norm's opinion invaded his sanctuary. He's a nervous wreck knowing that "she" is up there. A work related incident shows everyone how Norm really feels about his wife, especially when she's not in the vicinity of Cheers.
- Woody's parents get a gift for Kelly and Woody: small pet pig named Snuffles. Pet is somewhat of a misnomer as the Boyds, from a farming background, see Snuffles as Christmas dinner. Rebecca has an immediate connection with Snuffles as an animal. She wants to buy Snuffles after she hears about its ultimate fate. When Woody won't sell, Rebecca sets Snuffles free in the country. When Rebecca hears who ends up finding Snuffles, she sees the story as a Christmas miracle, until... Meanwhile, Sam starts dating Susan Metheny, the widow of Kirby, the man who bought Sam's Corvette. Sam is only doing so as he wants his Corvette back at a reduced rate. Susan, a kindergarten teacher, is a nice, sweet, innocent, shy woman who is vulnerable at the best of times, let alone at this grieving point in her life. But Sam only has his Corvette on the brain and doesn't even consider Susan's feelings. Susan ultimately decides that she won't be a pushover this time around when it comes to her feelings, a lesson which Sam learns much like a child would.
- One by one, Woody, Sam and Carla go into Rebecca's office asking for a raise. All three come out of her office only with superficial new titles. In other words, Rebecca has duped them. However she confesses first to Sam then to everyone in the bar that she cannot afford to give anyone a raise since the bar has been losing money for the past three months and the corporation is threatening to close the bar and take its losses. After brainstorming, the gang at the bar come up with an idea for a raffle for a Caribbean cruise to raise money and bring customers into the bar. Despite thinking it's futile, Rebecca goes along with it. The bar ends up being packed for the duration of the contest and the idea is a success. But an incident regarding the raffle may threaten the bar regardless. Sam, however, comes up with a solution that has an unwitting and absent Frasier and his one month anniversary with Lilith at its core.
- Cliff is saddled with the task of training a new postal employee, and he's not too happy about a rookie getting in his way. However he changes his tune when he meets her: Margaret 'Maggie' O'Keefe. Maggie is as passionate about the post office as Cliff, and she vows, with his mentoring, to be the second best postal employee behind him. Maggie's post office passion transfers itself to Cliff, who is as surprised and as nervous as he's ever been to this revelation as it will be his first time with a woman. At their scheduled rendezvous at an out of the way motel, things are going well until a policeman comes by asking the motel guests about the stolen postal truck, obviously the one Maggie used to drive to the motel. Will Maggie's actions be a deal breaker for sex-starved Cliff? Meanwhile, in Sam's never ending quest to bed Rebecca, Frasier suggests that he find the one sensory stimulus that turns Rebecca's crank. She admits to Sam that she does have one, it being a song from her teen-aged years. Will Sam be able to find out the song from the hundreds of thousands that have been written, and if so can Rebecca mask her feelings about the song in front of Sam?
- Rebecca is having her rich man obsession again, the object of her affection this time being Mr. Gaines. Although she has never really had any interest in him before, their shared knowledge of classical music - for her, it's more of a loathing due to her forced classical music upbringing - brings them together. He invites her over to his house for an evening of classical music. This evening is not quite what either expects, which in turn makes Rebecca do some things she probably would like to forget. Rebecca ultimately comes to a realization about her rich man obsession in general, but she has to translate that realization into action. Meanwhile, Cliff and Ma Clavin are feuding. By Cliff's words, the tone of his voice, his actions and absence of any trace of Mrs. Clavin when Carla, Norm and Paul break into Cliff's apartment, the threesome are convinced that he has murdered her.
- Sam is to be interviewed for a sports segment on the evening news. What he doesn't realize is that he was only chosen because all the big-name players weren't available.
- Sam is worried that Diane thinks he only dates dumb women, so he tries to impress her with his latest one.
- Diane doesn't tell Sam that she is going out to dinner with her ex-fiancé Sumner and his wife, because she thinks he will embarrass her if he comes along.
- Sam is in the middle of picking up an attractive woman named Suzanne in the bar, when he's telephoned by another former lover named Denise who wants to see him as soon as possible. So many women, so little time. He chooses to see Denise, while he puts current prey, Suzanne, on hold. However, Denise doesn't quite want a liaison: she tells Sam that he is one of two possible men who fathered her newborn child. Sam is shaken at the news, and swears to God that he will forgo sex forever if the child isn't his. He decides to change that to three months, which is like a lifetime for Sam. He quickly finds out that he is not the father, and is relieved. He is just about ready to head off for an evening of debauchery with Suzanne when Carla reminds him of his vow to God. Because of Carla's strong Catholic background, she convinces Sam, with a little unwitting help from Woody, that a vow to God is something one should not take lightly. Sam asks for advice from Father Barry and Frasier, the former who won't let Sam off the hook, and the latter who suggests he funnel his sexual energies into other endeavors. It doesn't help that another old flame, Rachel Patterson, comes by the bar on a short layover she has in Boston. Sam isn't sure he can make it through the evening with Rachel let alone the three months. A hotel room accessory may make him come to a conclusion about his vow.
- Diane goads Sam by dating other men, namely Chad. Sam doesn't seem to care, but does. They have a battle over who can bother whom the most by Diane's act or Sam's reaction. Meanwhile, Norm has added financial counselor to his resume and has made a tidy profit for one of his grateful clients. The gang at the bar all want in on Norm's next big investment opportunity, but he is reluctant to tell them what it is as business and friendship don't mix. Easily plied with free beer by Sam, Norm does reveal his next investment: Tan 'N' Wash, a combination tanning salon/ coin-operated laundry. Despite being skeptical, Sam, Diane, Cliff and Carla all buy in fearing losing out on Norm's winning streak. Despite moving into the winter season when people are searching for an easy tan, the timing may not be quite right as Boston is experiencing an Indian summer. The questions become whether the four nervous investors will weather the financial storm, whether Norm will indeed let them out of their investment, and whether their friendship can survive the ill feelings stemming from the possibility of each losing their entire investment.
- Rebecca is whisked off her feet by the latest man of her dreams, the extremely wealthy businessman, Robin Colcord. He has taken her on his private jet to several cities on the west coast, lavished her with expensive clothes and jewelry, and pampered her with spas and facials. Sam on the surface is getting on with his womanizing life, but a dream unmasks some what he concludes are deeper feelings for Rebecca which he believes Robin doesn't feel. Some additional information Sam finds out about what's not going on between Rebecca and Robin may help his cause.
- A slot machine is accidentally sent to the bar. Everyone is hooked on playing it, which for them is not a bad thing as the machine is paying out to everyone, that is except to Rebecca. She sees her losing streak on the machine as a metaphor of her life. Feeling sorry for her, Sam has the machine rigged to pay out to Rebecca to make her feel better. That act doesn't quite come out as planned. Fortunes seem to be on the upswing for Norm. A stint on a beer tasting survey panel parlays itself into a paid position at the brewery as a quality taste tester. Norm is in seventh heaven and doesn't even feel the need to get paid for such work. The position is on a trial probation basis and Mike, Norm's supervisor, assures Norm that he has the job permanently despite having an interview with the company president, Mr. Hoffmeyer, which is just a formality. The formality may not be quite so when loser Rebecca gets indirectly involved. But Rebecca's slot machine experience and Norm's interview show both who the real loser is, at least from Rebecca's perspective.
- Frasier finds out some juicy information about Rebecca from her college days, specifically that she was the party girl on campus and that her nickname was Backseat Becky. Although embarrassed by the information albeit one where how the nickname arose not divulged, Rebecca ultimately uses the nickname to her advantage. Meanwhile, Cliff and Ma Clavin, who is just like Cliff in the "know-it-all" department, are on a roller-coaster of emotions regarding the possible selling of their house to commercial developers. Cliff wants to sell in the name of progress, whereas Ma Clavin wants to preserve the memories of their lives in that house and not sell. Cliff and his Ma have to come to a consensus, but someone else or something else may beat them to the punch.
- When Sam comes into work with a day's facial hair growth, he, Cliff, Norm and Frasier decide to have a $20 per person 1-month beard growing contest, judged by Carla and Rebecca on length, body, fullness, luster, sheen, bounce and the ever important beer absorption ability. The day before the end of the contest, Sam, Norm and Frasier's beards are looking full and lush, while Cliff's is still straggly. The day of the judging, Cliff miraculously comes in with a full beard, which he attributes the the Clavin genes of sporadic but quick hair growth. Carla thinks he's lying and has a glued on beard but a hard tug at his beard proves that it is real. Is it? Meanwhile, Woody is offered his first leading role at his theater group, that of the young lover George Gibbs in Thornton Wilder's "Our Town". He is excited about doing the part but doesn't tell Kelly as he doesn't want her to know that he has a romantic scene with an actress, even though it's just make believe. However, the scene isn't very romantic as there is no such chemistry between Woody and Emily, his leading lady. The fault is all Woody's as he feels like he is cheating on Kelly. Without telling Woody, Lee Bradken, the director, tells Emily that she has to coax a performance from Woody or else he is going to have to fire him. So Emily uses all her feminine wiles to seduce Woody, only to have their scenes be real. Woody construes Emily's come-ons as being real which makes his performance even less real in deference to his love for Kelly. Can Emily or anyone else do anything to make Woody passionate in their romantic scenes, regardless if that passion is real or not? And if Woody can be real in his scenes with Emily, will Kelly understand?
- It's the morning after Rebecca's drunken spree, where she admitted to herself and Sam that she didn't love Robin, and that she was going to call off the wedding. However, what a little sobering up will do for the memory: she remembers nothing about that night and neither calls off the wedding or remembers that she doesn't love Robin. This is Frasier's gain as he, still hogging time on the karaoke machine, gets his first real gig when Rebecca asks him to sing at the wedding... that is until Robin surprises Rebecca with yet another Righteous Brother to sing instead, this time being 'Bobby Hatfield'. But Sam, as Rebecca's friend, will do whatever he can to jog Rebecca's memory about the night so that she doesn't make the biggest mistake of her life. If Rebecca was indeed only in love with Robin when he was rich, a revelation may make her decision to say "I do" or not that much more difficult.
- A dying man wants to leave $100,000 in his will to the gang at Cheers. But everybody fights over how much money each person will get.
- Woody's gripped with fear of losing Kelly when she returns with a Frenchman.
- Woody is meeting Kelly's mother, Roxanne Gaines, for the first time. Roxanne and Kelly's father, Walter, have been divorced for years, hence the reason why Woody has yet to meet her. He figures she's his last opportunity for someone in Kelly's family actually to like him. She does like him, a little too much as displayed by her tongue down his throat and the game of footsie she plays with him under the dinner table. At a dinner party at the Gaines household, Woody blurts out in front of all the dinner guests that he wants her to stop hitting on him. He thinks that act will ruin his relationship with Kelly. Contrary, Kelly believes that Woody has misinterpreted Roxanne's actions. Roxanne says as much to Kelly. Roxanne later makes her true intentions crystal clear. Meanwhile, one of Lillian's restaurants in Texas is closing down and is moving its unliquidatable inventory to its other properties. Cheers is the lucky recipient of a mechanical bull. Carla goads Cliff into riding the bull. Cliff ends up being close to setting a record he wishes he won't.
- Dave Richards is looking for a replacement television sportscaster to fill his position and thinks Sam would be the perfect person: he knows sports and he looks good. Although initially apprehensive about his abilities to do it, Sam agrees to fill in for the week. If he does well, this stint could lead to a whole new career in front of the camera. With Woody's help, Sam makes up a lie to Rebecca to get out of working at the bar for that time. Although Rebecca eventually finds out the real reason for Sam's absence, she allows him time off as she sees it as a win-win situation for her. If he fails, he's humiliated. If he succeeds, he's out of her life. Reading the actual sportscasts is one issue, but the sports commentaries, where he has to write his own material and come up with a point of view, is a whole different matter. Like his earlier lie to Rebecca, Sam needs Woody's help with regard to the result of his sportscasts.
- The guys at the bar feel sorry for Carla because nobody has responded to her newspaper singles ad. So they start sending her romantic responses from a fictional airline pilot.
- Sam is reevaluating his life in light of the fact that Rebecca has chosen Robin Colcord as the love of her life, with whom, by the way, she has not yet slept. Rebecca plans on changing their sexual relationship status when Robin returns from his current business trip to Switzerland, but is nervous about doing the deed after such a long abstinence. The guys at the bar convince Sam that what he should do is get his life back by buying another bar. He finds a place, and gives his notice to Rebecca. However, the new site of "Sam's Place" is not all that it's cracked up to be. It's a dump in need of major renovations, and is located in the worst neighborhood in Boston, though underneath the maggot-infested boardings are nice touches such as a lead-pane stained-glass window, hardwood floor and marble bar top. Sam decides to move forward on the plans. An unlikely source makes him look at his plans in a different light, and to go after what he really wants. However, this person may have ulterior motives.
- Diane warns Sam not to go out with a friend she met at the mental hospital because she has obsessive issues with men. But Sam doesn't heed the warning, and puts himself in a situation that he's afraid to get out of.
- Sam is continuing his battle with upstairs neighbor and the landlord of his pool room and washrooms, John Allen Hill. Sam feels like he needs to do something really to bug Hill. Just then, Sam meets Hills' daughter, Valerie. Sam is not exactly the type of man she usually goes out with, nor is she Sam's type, but he asks her out solely to get under Hill's skin. Having dinner at Melville's, Sam starts to make the moves on Valerie in plain view of Hill. Hill initially feigns disinterest, but ultimately breaks down in tears, telling Sam that he'll give Sam anything if Sam stops seeing Valerie. From this statement, Sam gets his pool room and washrooms rent free, and he gets his parking space back. Immediately, Sam drops Valerie, right in the middle of dinner. Valerie takes Sam rebuke graciously. But immediately after that, Sam decides he wants Valerie back if only because he can't have her, and Valerie still seems interested in Sam, but obviously they will have to keep their relationship a secret from Hill. How will the triangle between Hill, Valerie and Sam resolve itself? Meanwhile, Carla believes the foosball table that Woody finds in the storage closet is possessed. After Frasier gets his hand stuck in it, Carla brings in the person she believes best equipped to handle Frasier's problem.
- Frasier is nervous about a speech he has to make at a seminar. Carla suggests a device she uses: picture everyone naked, but wearing black socks. She says that you just can't help but laugh at the picture. It works. As Frasier practices it with people in general, he gets more and more and more relaxed. Perhaps he gets a little too relaxed as he forgets something important. Meanwhile, Rebecca is asked by yet another Vice-President at the company to do a menial task. Mr. Sheridan needs someone to house-sit and look after his dog Buster while he's away on a trip. As usual, Rebecca agrees, although this time she does so reluctantly in part because looking after such a large house by herself spooks her out a bit. Sam sees this as the perfect opportunity to get her into bed by visiting her at the house and playing on her insecurities. However as Sam enters the house, Buster finds an open door to leave. So Rebecca, Sam and the rest of the gang at the bar are placed on Buster search detail. Thrown into the mix are an attack dog named Satan, who looks like Buster and who Woody finds as a replacement "just in case", and the fact that Mr. Sheridan is on his way home a day early.
- Diane waltzes into the bar full of cheer, announcing to Sam that she had a premonition that he would ask her to marry him today; he mocks her and laughs in her face. Superstitious Carla warns Sam not to test the fate of woman's intuition. Diane does whatever she can to set the mood for a proposal and Sam does everything he can to prove to Diane that he won't propose. When they're finally alone just prior to midnight, Sam states that her insistence is driving him nuts and adamantly states that he will never ask her to marry him again. When Diane comes to the realization that it might not happen, her tears start to flow which prompts Sam to ask her to marry him. She says no, again! For a split second, he dreams that he has murdered Diane and is on death row - he chases her out of the bar to perhaps do the deed?! The following day, we find that Diane has had Sam arrested for assault and battery, and has asked newly minted but inept lawyer Tom, who has finally passed the bar examine after umpteen tries, to be his lawyer. At the bail hearing, Diane walks with a cane into the courtroom with a brace around her neck. Sam denies even laying a hand on her. Despite the fact that the judge has waived bail and released Sam on his own recognizance, Diane feels the need to tell the court of their relationship and their proposal history. Suggested by Tom and agreed to by the judge, they can get themselves out of this entire situation if Sam just proposes to Diane again.
- Frasier and Lilith are having a domestic spat, and Lilith is withholding sex. Frasier is going a little stir crazy because of it. Woody is having a spat in name only with 'Larry Bird' of the Boston Celtics who is originally from French Lick, Indiana, from where people of Hanover, Indiana are considered the dufuses of the state. Hanover residents have the same opinion of French Lick residents. With the rest of the gang, they're preparing for the next contest with Gary's Olde Towne Tavern, namely a three-on-three basketball game of bar employees. Gary "hires" a couple of extremely tall ringers. Sam goes one step further and "hires" Boston Celtic, Kevin McHale. Sam tells Kevin that the game is for charity - an orphanage - to persuade him to do this for him. Because of the surety of winning, Sam bets Gary $5,000 on the game, Gary unaware that Kevin is Cheers' ringer. When Kevin ultimately finds out he was duped about the charity aspect of the game, he's mad but agrees to play if the $5,000 is donated to an orphanage. At the game, Cheers wipes out Gary's, but Woody also wipes out Kevin at the end of the game with what initially looks to be a severe ankle injury. The injury ends up being not bad. However the Celtics doctor comes to the bar the next day with news that Kevin's injury is season ending. Kevin's injury has an unexpected affect on the bet and the bar war with Gary.
- Coach accidentally finds out that his recently-deceased friend once made a pass at his wife.
- Coach falls in love and gets engaged. But when his fiancée wins the lottery, her feelings toward him take an unexpected turn.
- The on-going battle between Jeanne-Marie and Rebecca for Robin's affections continues. Robin apparently bought Jeanne-Marie a house on the Left Bank. Because of that, Rebecca thinks Robin is going to dump her. Instead, he asks her to move in with him. She readily accepts, thinking he's going to dump Jeanne-Marie. While Robin is away on a business trip, Rebecca, with Sam, Norm and Woody's help, starts moving in to Robin's apartment. They discover a confidential Lillian Corporation document coming through Robin's fax machine, the document which was obtained using Rebecca's secret computer password. Norm concludes that Robin is going to attempt a hostile takeover of the Lillian Corporation, information for which he obtained using Rebecca's access to the company without her knowledge. Despite still being in love with Robin, Rebecca hums and haws about what to do. If Rebecca doesn't turn Robin in, Sam, Norm or Woody could. But the four may have some problems if Robin finds out that they have his top secret information.
- Diane admits to the gang that she has been taking a ballet class at the local community college under the tutelage of world renowned Madame Lihkova. The final exam for the class entailed performing a solo to be videotaped for adjudication. The gang at the bar intercepts the tape and the critique before Diane has a chance to see it; the critique is negative as Diane truly has no dancing talent. To spare Diane's feelings, Frasier decides to write a glowing review for Diane instead thinking that this act of kindness will cause no harm. After reading the altered review, which states that she has "the soul of a dancer", Diane decides to pursue her dream of becoming a ballerina, despite her advanced age. She crashes a closed practice for Boston Ballet, and is about ready to perform for the company when...
- Sam and Diane announce to the gang at the bar that they are engaged, however Carla goes into deep denial about this news, which is her worst nightmare. Diane loves this one engagement ring, and so does Sam until he finds out the $5,200 price. Norm mentions to Sam in secret that he has a jeweler friend, the term jeweler used very loosely, who can reproduce the ring for a fraction of the cost at $1,200. Sam agrees with the ruse. After giving Diane the knockoff ring, he in turn needs to tell one lie after another to protect his secret, each lie costing his some money. After he figures he can no longer support the lie, he goes and buys the real ring, now having paid in total $9,000 for the real ring, the knockoff and all the items to support the lie. Afterward, Diane, without Sam's knowledge, finds out that Sam bought the knockoff ring. Diane however doesn't know that Sam has in turn purchased the real ring, which ends up causing some complications in their relationship.
- Diane tries to make a good impression on Frasier's mother. But after their first meeting, Frasier's mother warns Diane that if she continues to see Frasier, that she will kill her.
- Diane develops an allergy believing it's Frasier's dog after they move in together, but Sam and Frasier know her allergies are psychosomatic. Meanwhile, the guys at the bar shower Carla with a series of gag birthday gifts.
- On his postal route, Cliff is bitten by a dog, and decides to sue the owner for $200,000. Madeline, the dog's owner, ends up being a beautiful, voluptuous woman, but one that is up front about wanting to help Cliff despite the fact that she has little money. Cliff and Madeline start dating, the gang at the bar thinking that it only a ploy on her part for Cliff not to sue. Cliff realizes this is the case, but is still dating her in hopes of trading dropping the lawsuit for a roll in the sack. Madeline announces to everyone that her lawyer wants her to get Cliff to sign a waiver to absolve her of any responsibility, but she refuses to do so. Perhaps Madeline really does like Cliff. Or maybe she's got other methods of getting her way. Madeline and Cliff make it all the way to bed in a nice suite at the Ritz, when... Meanwhile, Diane is off on a Buddhist monastery retreat for a couple of weeks.
- Carla has everyone convinced that the bar's new fortune-telling machine can predict the future. But does that include Diane's fortune that seems to indicate that her relationship with Sam could be in trouble?
- Sam locks himself out of the house while babysitting for Lilith and Frasier's son.
- Robin returns to Cheers, destitute. He has renounced his previous greedy ways, gave away the $6 million he had hidden in Rebecca's desk drawer and has decided to live a life of simple poverty. But admittedly, he still has feelings for Rebecca. Rebecca still has feelings for Robin, or at least for the $6 million she thinks he has. She thinks he's just testing her and that he still is rich. In the intervening time, Robin implied to the gang in an indirect way that he has hid another money belt filled with $6 million somewhere in the bar. Sam, Carla, Frasier, Norm and Cliff tear the bar apart, probe Robin and turn on each other trying to find the money belt. They then think that it was burned in the fire. But when they discover that Fire Captain Dobbins on duty the day of the fire is now retired with a sizable sum of money, they assume he stole the money.
- Sam thinks Diane's oldest and best friend is hitting on him. Diane knows better, but becomes paranoid after Carla eggs her on.
- Diane is doing some part-time teaching at the college and tells Sam that one of her students is falling in love with her. The problem is that she prides herself on being attracted to men solely on their inner beauty, but this guy, whose name is Lance Apollonaire, is drop dead gorgeous which is stirring animal passions in her. He is also young and a student. Sam thinks she is making this story up to make him jealous, especially with such a made up name as Lance Apollonaire. Is Lance real or a figment of Diane's "let's make Sam jealous" mind? Meanwhile, Cliff has reached one of his goals in life, that to become a member of a lodge called Knights of the Scimitar. He wants to invite all the guys into the lodge as well, they all really not wanting to join. He does eventually talk Norm into joining as it's a good place to make business contacts. Norm breezes through the interview and gets into the lodge, which he admits is made up of a bunch of good guys despite his sole original rationale for joining. However, he later learns two items about the lodge that may be deal breakers for his membership.
- Norm is chosen the bar's designated driver for the evening. As such, it starts off to be the worst evening of Norm's life, until... Meanwhile, Mr. Gaines is sending Kelly to study in Europe for a year in an effort to break-up Kelly and Woody's relationship. Woody decides to give Kelly a promise ring before she leaves. She initially accepts it, but gives it back after she and Woody get into an argument about her father's motives. Distraught, Woody decides to rush off to the Gaines household and with Sam's help - solely to hold the ladder - he plans to elope with Kelly. After Woody and Kelly discuss the issue, Mr. Gaines ends up unwittingly deciding their immediate future without he even knowing that he did so. Sam offers less support in the matter.
- Sam hires a still-unemployed Norm to be his accountant, but the tax return he prepares for the bar could ultimately destroy their friendship.
- Sam's old broadcaster buddy, Dave, predicts that Sam and Diane will be broken up in the next 24 hours. Then, he sets out to make sure that it happens.
- The Drs. Cranes are a little stressed at each of their respective practices, and Sam suggests they take a vacation. They immediately go on vacation mode in preparation for their impending Caribbean cruise. Will it relieve their stress? Meanwhile, Woody has joined a local theater group. He tries out for the company's original 4-hour play called "Authors in Hell"; he ends up being the understudy for the Mark Twain role. He wears his costume into the bar each night in the hope that he will go on, and at work he spouts Mark Twainisms to everyone. Into the bar walks a new customer named Mary, an older woman who is a bit nearsighted and who has recently become a widow. Mary and Woody as Mark Twain hit it off. It seems as if Mary really believes Woody is a well spoken older gentleman. The problem becomes how kindly old gentleman Woody can break the news to Mary that he isn't who he appears to be.
- Frasier has decided that he needs to get in shape. Rather than go with his original plan of hiring a personal trainer, Frasier takes Sam up on his offer to train him for free. After one hellish day of training for Frasier where Sam just sits and watches and eats donuts, Frasier has had enough and will do whatever he needs to to keep Sam away. Meanwhile, Woody has just returned from an all expenses paid trip to London with Kelly, paid for by the Gaines family. Woody has returned a changed man: pompous and affected by the English ways. After everyone in the bar gets mad at him, Woody makes a Freudian slip and calls himself Woody Gaines. He then realizes that he has indeed changed because of this trip and his access to the Gaines family money. He thinks perhaps it wouldn't be a good idea to marry Kelly and her money. Kelly is heartbroken when Woody tells her, and she turns to the only person around for support: an uncomfortable Norm. Norm suggest she try living like Woody, an example being to travel via the subway. This task may be difficult since she doesn't even know what the subway is. If they are to stay together, Woody and Kelly have to come to an understanding about how they will live monetarily.
- Sam accidentally shoots himself in the rear end after a confrontation with a jealous husband, but he changes the story when he tells it to the bar to make himself look like a hero.
- Patrons from a closed down bikers' bar start frequenting Cheers, which leads to fights and other problems at Cheers. To deal with these problems, Sam decides to hire Tiny, the former bouncer from that bar. Tiny does stop fights from happening, however he also scares away many of Cheers' regular customers. Sam realizes that Tiny has to go, but Sam and everyone else is scared of Tiny and Sam thus can't fire him. So the gang devise ways to get Tiny to leave on his own. This problem is nothing compared to Frasier's. Lilith just started cheating on Frasier with her colleague, Dr. Louis Pascal. This act she sees as a larger manifestation of problems in their marriage. However, she still loves Frasier and Frasier still loves her. He forgives her since he realizes that much of their problems are his fault. He wants Lilith solely to tell Dr. Pascal that she will never see him again, and the two of them can move on and work on their marriage. When she goes to do so, she may find other emotions in play.
- Cliff and Norm mourn the closing of the Twi-Lite Drive-In Theater and its associated memories of simpler times. In Ma Clavin's classic convertible, Cliff, Norm, Woody and newbie drive-inner Frasier - who ends up being trunk boy - head off to watch a Godzilla (1954) triple-header on the theater's last night. The foursome have a mixed evening at the theater, which includes enduring Cliff and Ma's rules of car etiquette and several run-ins with an angry car neighbor. But it's Ma's convertible that takes the brunt of the evening's battles. While the foursome are at the drive-in, Gus O'Malley, the previous owner of Cheers, stops by the bar. Sam offers Gus the opportunity to relive old times not only by tending bar, but managing the bar for the evening. Gus resorts to his old tactics of yelling and intimidation to get the staff to get working. Despite Carla and Rebecca's protests against Gus' tactics, Sam, who doesn't agree with how Gus is running things, figures that he can make an old man happy for one night by saying nothing. Sam has a change of heart about Gus' tactics by night's end.
- Norm is up for a promotion at work when he finds out that his competitor is having an affair with their boss' wife. Will he use this helpful bit of information to guarantee that he gets the job?
- Rebecca is upset that Evan Drake has promoted Sam to an executive position at corporate, the position of Eastern Regional Sales Manager to be more precise. Rebecca thinks something is fishy about the promotion. Despite having nothing to do even after asking Drake about his job responsibilities, Sam is oblivious to any ulterior motives for his promotion. Even after playing in the corporate league's first playoff game for the company, Sam is still oblivious but Rebecca catches on: Sam is the company's softball ringer, and once the playoffs are over, Sam will be let go from his executive position. Rebecca relishes the opportunity to rub Sam's smug nose in it, but a story by Sam make may her change her mind in telling him. Regardless, Sam uses any opportunity to reach his ultimate goal with Rebecca.
- An Englishman enters the bar claiming to be a spy, but Diane exposes him as a fraud. Everyone is mad at her for humiliating him just to show off her own intellect, until he plays a joke on her.
- Rebecca is at another crossroads in her life. She knows that she doesn't want to do the bar shtick for the rest of her life, but is now unsure what she wants to do. Regardless, she goes on one job interview after another, each time dooming herself to failure. Meanwhile, Sam has been spending a lot of time lately with the Cranes. More specifically, he has been spending a lot of time with Frederick. Each day, Sam arrives at their house a little earlier and leaves a little later. Frasier and Lilith finally tell Sam directly that he shouldn't be spending that much time with their son. Sam understands, but not until after the revelations that Sam likes kids and that Frederick now considers Sam more a father than Frasier. Later, Sam admits to himself that he wants to be a dad, but doesn't yet have an idea who the mother will be. Late one evening, Sam dozes off while watching Blue Hawaii (1961) on TV. In his dream, Sam gets a message directly from Elvis Presley about what he should do to address his quandary. His next step becomes how to convince the other party involved that Elvis' plan is a good one.
- Everyone at the bar is questioning Sam and Rebecca's wanting to have a baby. Some are dismayed they have decided to do this out of wedlock, while others doubt Sam or Rebecca's parenting skills. Lilith suggests that Sam and Rebecca should try babysitting someone else's child for an evening. With Frederick Crane unavailable, Rebecca decides that she and Sam should give themselves the ultimate test: looking after Carla's seven kids for one evening (the eldest, Anthony, won't be around, having a previous--fairly serious--commitment). Carla is all for the idea if only to have an evening away from her unruly mob. But what will Sam and Rebecca think about having a child after this evening is over? Meanwhile, Woody wants his parents to meet Kelly. Since he does not have the money for Kelly and himself to take a trip back to Hanover, he decides to make and send them a videotape of Kelly and himself. Cliff and Frasier volunteer to be director/videographer.
- Sam hits on a beautiful woman in the bar who promptly shoots him down. She is Dr. Sheila Rydell, a clinical psychiatrist and a colleague of the Drs. Crane. Because she shot him down, Sam wants her even more. Cliff suggests that he approach her on a professional level: that he should make an appointment to see her with some psychiatric problem. Despite the touchy nature of the issue itself, Carla convinces Sam to use the problem of impotence, as all women love to help a man solve such a problem. He goes in to see her at her office and she sees right through his story. When he confesses that he made up the story just to see her again and to ask her out, she accepts, thinking that the clinical part of her job is creeping a little too much into her personal life. As they spend some personal time together, they may have some problem separating their professional and personal relationships.
- Much to Frasier's horror, his psychiatry mentor becomes involved with Carla and asks her to marry him. But she doesn't want to, even though she has just found out that she is pregnant with his baby.
- Evan Drake invites Sam and a date onto his yacht for the weekend, Evan implying that it should be Rebecca since Sam and Rebecca are supposedly dating. Sam has someone else in mind - Julie, perhaps the most superficial person in the world - instead. Rebecca finds out about the invitation and of course insists that Sam bring her so that she can get closer to her unrequited love, Evan Drake. Sam reluctantly agrees, but brings along his "sister" Julie as well. Sam and Rebecca are hoping that this trip ends up being their conquest of Julie and Evan respectively, but Evan and Julie and Lorenzo the cabin steward may have other things on their minds. That may leave Sam and Rebecca to find their own fun together.
- Sam gets Coach's help to help him pass a geography class and get his high school diploma. But he eventually finds an easier way to pass the course.
- 1982–199330mTV-PG7.5 (525)TV EpisodeCarla finds out that the new house she bought was built on top of a 17th century prison graveyard. Cliff comes over to help her spend her first night in the house.
- A panel discussion with the cast of Cheers after their 200th show hosted by John McLaughlin.
- Sam and Diane try to stop Carla from sleeping with her new boyfriend after they learn that he has a heart condition.
- Coach's fiancée calls off the wedding and dumps him. But he's convinced that it's not over and that she will come back to him on their wedding day.
- Woody and Kelly argue once again about the difference in their monetary status. Kelly wants to live in a house purchased by her father. Woody, not wanting any Gaines money, wants them to live in his old apartment as that's all he can afford. They compromise, which shows them that one side might be more correct in their outlook than the other. Meanwhile, Rebecca's father, Navy Captain Franklin E. Howe, comes to Boston for a visit. A tough-as-nails man and father, he demands that Rebecca, who has screwed up her life in Boston, move back to San Diego into her old room in their home. Apparently, he has controlled her her entire life, including providing her with an allowance. He expects that Rebecca will put up a fight and demand to live her life in Boston as she sees fit. Captain Howe has an ulterior motive for his visit to Boston; if Rebecca knew this true motive, it might change the entire nature of their disagreement.
- 1982–199330mTV-PG7.4 (385)TV EpisodeIt's Elvis' birthday, and Elvis-fanatical Carla believes that he will make his presence known today. By the end of the day, she will get a visit from a King of a different sort. Meanwhile, Sam has some hair problems. He needs a hair cut - in his own mind, it is a need. Tony, his hair stylist, has been in a serious car accident, and is thus unable to cut Sam's hair. Sam is devastated, not for Tony but for himself. Woody offers to cut Sam's hair for him, and although initially reluctant, Sam does let Woody do the job. The resulting cut ultimately makes Sam feel like he owes one to Woody in return. Frasier decides to bring yet another one of his therapy groups, namely a low self-esteem group, into the bar to expose them to a real world social situation. They start off slowly, but Norm, Cliff and Paul, with their regular bar chatter, help them out. Ultimately, they all come to a common point of discussion: pompous fool Frasier Crane. What will Frasier think of his group's new self-esteem based on him as the target?
- Due to declining business since he has decided not to work, Norm has to fire his secretary, the mild mannered Doris. He writes her a letter of reference, which in her warped mind she misconstrues as a love letter. She confesses her supposed mutual love for Norm. Despite subtle and not so subtle hints from Norm, Doris just won't leave him alone. Frasier tells Norm that she is suffering from lack of self-esteem and he needs to build up her confidence to get rid of her. But a confession by Doris as to why she wasn't attracted to him when she worked for him gives Norm the idea of how best to get her to stop loving him. Meanwhile, Woody and Rebecca bore the gang with their respective stories. Woody's is about the coldest day ever in Boston, knowledge of which ultimately comes in handy. Rebecca's is about the antique desk that Robin has given her as a gift. He has let her know that there is a ring associated with the desk, the 'where' he will divulge to her next he sees her in two weeks. She believes the word in front of 'ring' is 'engagement' and she does whatever she can to find it or a clue in the desk as to its whereabouts. Could the ring refer to something else?
- Cliff is convinced that his new neighbor is Adolf Hitler. If not for Ma standing up for him, Cliff would be evicted from the building for harassment. But Cliff's still not convinced as to his neighbor's true identity. Meanwhile, Carla and John Allen Hill continue their love-hate relationship. However it has gone to a new level, to a love-hate-heart attack stage. Hill had a heart attack while they were making love. Seemingly indifferent to the heart attack since Hill is just a romp in the hay, Carla eventually breaks down in tears since "her boyfriend" had a heart attack. She suspects that the reason he did have a heart attack is she spurted out the words "I love you" to Hill. She doesn't know what to do since their relationship is built on hate. She finally goes to see him in the hospital, and based on events and the fact that Hill is out of commission for eight weeks, they decide to try and move their relationship to the next phase of true boyfriend-girlfriend. This eight weeks, or perhaps a shorter time period, will test if they are destined to be truly boyfriend-girlfriend.
- Woody's theater group is mounting a production of Hair, and unbeknown to Woody it has a nude scene. Despite everyone in the bar trying to convince him of that fact, he thinks they are all pulling his leg, that is until he reads it in black and white in the script. He is nervous about it until the director tells him that individuals can decide to take off their clothes or not based on how their mood sways them at the time. Being the professional that he is, Woody wants to be true to the production and wills himself to do it despite how uncomfortable he is. Will he when the time comes? Carla has her own problems. Eddie's will has finally been executed, and while Gloria, his other wife, got $100, Carla got everything else, which unfortunately was only debt. In discussion, Carla and Gloria negotiate splitting the $100, to which they also mutually agree that Carla would give Gloria half of everything that she would have got as well. Carla and Gloria end up being good pals, chumming around for the remainder of Gloria's time in Boston before she heads back to Kenosha. However, Carla soon finds out that Eddie may not have left anything of monetary value to Carla in his will, but he did have a life insurance policy from the ice show worth $50,000. Carla is elated, until she remembers her vow to her now good friend Gloria. Carla has to decide whether to keep the money all to herself or keep to her vow and share. Gloria may have her own say in the matter.
- 1982–199330mTV-PG7.4 (649)TV EpisodeAfter Sam throws out a careless "I love you," he and Diane decide to take some time off to evaluate their relationship.
- A jealous Diane agrees to have her portrait painted by an arrogant, eccentric artist, even though Sam can't stand the guy and forbids her to do it.
- Diane becomes upset with everyone at the bar when nobody shows any sympathy after she learns that her family cat has died.
- Eighteen year old Serafina, Carla's daughter, announces that she is pregnant and wants to marry the father, a retired police officer living off disability who she loves. After discussing the issue, Carla gives Serafina her blessing and her financial support for the wedding. With her connection to Hill, Carla manages to arrange for the ceremony at Melville's - she's afraid of the bad wedding karma history at Cheers - and the reception at Cheers. Despite Carla's meticulous planning to avoid any problems, a last minute Star Trek (1966) theme and some surprise guests may ruin the day for Carla.
- 1982–199330mTV-PG7.4 (424)TV EpisodeAs Robin walks into the bar office, what he sees is Rebecca in a state of undress and Sam's shirt button stuck in her blouse's zipper. Rebecca tells Robin that something almost happened with Sam but that nothing did happen. It's a lie, which Sam is supporting. Robin's return prompts Rebecca to go back with him, and to support him during the time of his indictment. She will continue to work at the bar until she can find another, better job. Sam goes back to setting the bar back up the way he used to have it. As a show of gratitude for the support of his customers, Sam decides to wipe out all the bar tabs, including Norm's. But back with Sam and Rebecca, they decide to move on from their sexual encounter. However Rebecca confesses that it was one of the most powerful experiences of her life. As much as he says he had a good time, Sam, on the other hand, states that perhaps his expectations after three years was a little too much compared to the actual act. Rebecca is hurt by this statement, but Sam's behavior masks something else going on in his psyche. He refuses to tell anyone about his tryst with Rebecca, except Father Barry, to whom he goes for counsel and advice on why he isn't telling anyone. Sam finally realizes it's because Rebecca was both a friend and a lover, a first for him, and he wanted to protect his friend more than brag about his lover. But will the gang goading Sam about never having slept with Rebecca and now never having the chance to get the better of him?
- A public works crew is doing some construction at the top of the bar stairwell, which is causing a slow-down in bar business. Sam wants to grease the wheels by bribing the workmen with free beer, but Rebecca refuses. The workmen initiate a work slow-down. After that Sam, thinks they have to up the bribe ante, but again Rebecca refuses. As such, Rebecca suggests building a back entrance to the bar from the alley. During that work, Norm gets stuck between the iron bars in the back window. They call in the police to get him unstuck. Rebecca uses this situation as an inopportune time to implement the earlier lesson from Sam. Meanwhile, Ma Clavin comes back to Boston for a visit. Cliff, with his new bachelor lifestyle, doesn't want her to stay with him. Woody, on the other hand, offers his place to Ma Clavin. Woody becomes Ma Clavin's surrogate son. The two of them have a great time together. Cliff initially feigns disinterest in Ma and Woody's relationship, but after Ma calls Woody "son", Cliff admits that he wants his Ma back. Is there enough love in Ma's heart for two sons, and conversely can Cliff and Woody share a Ma?
- Coach becomes a youth league baseball coach. But his competitive nature turns him from lovable guy to angry tyrant. Cliff gets a raise and treats Norm to dinner. Carla brings her newborn to cheers for breastfeeding.
- Eddie Lebec, a newly acquired goalie for the Bruins, comes into the bar prior to a game. Eddie is currently the hottest goalie in the league. Since the start of his winning streak, Eddie, a superstitious person, will not stray from his regular routine, which includes a drink of club soda, no ice, 2 slices of lemon and a red straw. Eddie and Carla hit it off and start dating. Carla is excited but anxious that something will go wrong to ruin the relationship. On the day Eddie publicly declares Carla as his girlfriend, a game against the Flyers goes into OT, and as soon as Carla blows him a kiss of good luck, Eddie's winning streak comes to an end. Is the only difference in his routine the fact of Carla being in his life? With others in the bar, Diane is called to jury duty, to which she is named foreman for an attempted murder trial. Despite being sworn to secrecy, Diane talks about the trial to anyone who will listen, that really being no one. And a depressed Frasier is sad about the passing of beloved lab chimp Bombo. To cheer him up, Carla takes him to a hockey game. The game does get him out of his funk, a little too much however.
- Carla and Eddie are now in a relationship. Ever since Carla blew him the kiss and Eddie let in that cheap goal, Eddie has been on a slump. The most superstitious couple ever, Eddie and Carla analyze Eddie's life routine since the slump started, the only change in routine being Carla in his life. Not only does Carla come to the conclusion that she may be a jinx, but so does every one else in the bar. Carla has to decide to dump Eddie and have him regain his winning streak, or stay with Eddie at the price of the Bruins. Or is there another solution? Meanwhile, Diane is still at the trial and still talking to whoever will listen to her. Reminiscent of 12 Angry Men (1957), Diane stands alone in the jury as the dissenting voice thinking that the accused is guilty, comparing the relationship of the accused and his victim wife to Sam and herself. If she can't win in the court of law, she figures, out of a streak of good luck, that she can win outside the legal system.
- Diane reluctantly enters the Miss Boston Barmaid contest, but only so she can publicly denounce the competition as sexist and chauvinistic.
- The gang decide to watch an old Red Sox game on a classic sports channel, a game in which Sam played. As this game took place during one of his drunk years, Sam is unsure if he played well or made a fool of himself in the game. Since he finds out he pitched three innings in the game, he assumes he played well. After Sam makes a big deal about watching the game, Carla reminds him that that game was indeed not one of his finest moments. Sam does whatever he can to prevent the gang from watching it. Meanwhile, Norm is being audited. The auditor is Dot Carroll, a gravelly-voiced, chain-smoking, no-nonsense, scary tough broad. Norm, the ex-accountant, knows he can fudge his way through the audit even without legitimate receipts, but when his tricks don't work, he resorts to a tactic suggested by Carla: flirt. It works, much to Norm's dismay, as Dot invites Norm back to her hotel room. But a faithful Norm now doesn't know what to do as Dot expects a sexual evening. Norm learns that what may work best in the situation is an unexpected approach.
- Norm announces to the bar that he has a great new job at a prestigious CPA firm. Everyone at the bar soon learn first hand that Norm over-sold his job as his office, the size of a phone booth, used to be the supply room which he has to share with an obsequious brown-noser of a colleague named Tompkins. When alone with Diane, Norm shows his frustration at which Diane chastises him for not being more of a go-getter in his life in general. This act and his lot within the company makes Norm think he can move up the corporate ladder. With Diane's help he thinks he's got the plan that will help himself become a corporate success, which would be a first in his life. This plan ultimately shows Norm that he really has found his lot in life. Meanwhile back at the bar, Sam and Diane discuss where they should go on their honeymoon. Will it be Tibet or Disney World?
- Sam becomes a commercial spokesman and becomes romantically involved with his agent. But things become complicated when he wants to break off the romance.
- Diane decides to find a new job because Carla now thinks Sam is playing favorites for his new girlfriend. But finding a job is harder than it seems.
- After a health scare, Norm gives up his old life and says he's moving to Bora Bora. However, he chickens out at the last minute and hides out in Sam's office. Meanwhile, Carla becomes depressed after losing a tip wager with Diane.
- Prior to their wedding, Kelly wants to get to know all of Woody's friends. She's been spending quality time with them at the bar. They all have their own reason for liking Kelly around. Sam's beloved Corvette has been stolen, after which he starts a support group for people who have had their high performance cars stolen. The group is beneficial to Sam and to the others in the group, but its usefulness becomes moot for Sam when something more beneficial happens. And something beloved returns to Rebecca's life, namely Mark Newberger, her high school boyfriend and her first real love. Rebecca is excited to see Mark again, even more so after the fact as it supports what she thought she would feel: that Mark is and was the one man for her, the one she shouldn't have let get away and the one she won't let get away now that she has this second chance with him. But what is obvious to the rest of the world isn't obvious to Rebecca in why a Mark/Rebecca coupling is never going to happen. In her oblivion, Rebecca pursues Mark like a banshee.
- Sam hires a new bartender and appoints himself as host/manager of Cheers. But when his new strategy goes belly-up and he is forced to return to the bar, somebody has to be fired.
- It's Valentine's Day, and it doesn't seem to be going well for anyone. The Drs. Crane are trying to bring their respective therapy groups - Frasier's a group of shy men, Lilith's a group of shy women - together as part of their therapy. They try party games to get the men and women together, games such as passing the orange from chin to chin, Twister and Spin the Bottle, with little to show for their efforts. Rebecca is depressed as after the recent break-up with Robin, she has no man in her life and thus no one to give her a Valentine. Just before midnight, Cliff comes to the rescue and gives Rebecca the Valentine he was going to give to his Ma. However, Cliff wants a little action in return. And Sam, who has had an on-going "only on Valentine's Day" date with Lauren Hudson for the past twenty years, slips and throws out his back just before he is off to see her. In such a state, Sam may be unable to perform sexually as he does his darnedest to hide his injury from Lauren and to make the most of his once a year tryst with her. Will this year show both Sam and Lauren the different state of a maturing relationship?
- Sam says he's going to Vermont for a funeral, but Diane knows he's really going on a ski weekend with his buddies. And Cliff gets jealous of Norm's new friendship with another guy.
- Diane's has to get married within ten years of her father's death, or her mother loses her fortune. But there's one problem: she's only just learned of this fact, and the ten-year deadline is tomorrow.
- When Sam goes away on vacation, he chooses Woody to be boss at the bar. Woody is prepared to do so, but unprepared for the Dear John letter he receives from Beth. Wanting to explain in person, Beth and her fiancé, Leonard Twilley - who Woody knows - plan on stopping in Boston on their way to Niagara Falls. Although Woody is sad, he is more fearful of looking pitiful in Beth's eyes by not having his own girl on his arms. Seeing that Beth and Leonard's stopover is a short one, Diane thinks that making up a girlfriend for Woody is not a bad idea. However Beth and Leonard's stopover is a bit longer than either Diane or Woody thought, and Beth suggests that they, including Woody's girlfriend, go out for dinner. As a last resort, Woody picks a name out of Sam's little black book - Desiree Harrison - who, according to Sam "is the best" and has multiple stars next to her name. When Desiree comes to the bar at the appointed time, she is not what quite Woody expects.
- Sam refuses to accept Diane's reconsideration of his proposal, and brags to her about a romantic weekend he has planned in Cape Cod. Diane follows him down there, and Sam doesn't want her to know that his date had to leave early.
- The Coach's niece, Joyce, comes to Boston to attend BU. She comes to the bar bearing a letter from her father, the Coach's younger brother, for Sam: he asks Sam keep an eye out for his little girl, for if anything was to ever happen to her, he would blow his brains out. This is a heavy burden on Sam, and by association Diane. To keep her out of trouble, they ask the most innocent person they know to show her a good time, that person being Woody. Woody and Joyce have such a good time together that after a couple of days, they announce that they are engaged. This news throws Sam into a tizzy. Sam's attempts to end the engagement have an unintended result. Diane takes over, her talks with them also not going according to plan. Do Diane and Sam's tactics reflect the quality of their future parenting skills? Meanwhile, Frasier and Lilith are celebrating an anniversary of their first meeting. Frasier buys Lilith an antique armoire, while he leaves clues around the apartment for what he wants, a new set of golf clubs. Will he get his beloved clubs?
- Carla attacks an especially obnoxious Yankee fan after they beat the Red Sox. He threatens to sue the bar unless Carla is fired.
- One of Frasier's colleagues, Dr. Lawrence Crandell, is in town on a tour to promote his latest book on human sexual attraction and marital fidelity. He is in town without his wife, Valerie, which he says is a good way to test his theories. He says he has been celibate for 10 months while on tour. Rebecca construes a private conversation between the doctor and her as an unwanted come-on. In public, she is visibly hostile toward him. Sam and Frasier don't believe her story is a come-on as she believes. Sam and Frasier convince her that she could be wrong, so she apologizes to Dr. Crandell. His come-on this time however is unmistakable as is the hole is his sock as he runs his foot up her leg. Later in his hotel room, Dr. Crandell propositions the gullible young chambermaid named Maria just as Rebecca, with Sam clandestinely in tow, come by to have the doctor admit that he did come on to her. Add to the mix a violinist to serenade whoever the good doctor is hitting on, and an unexpected Valerie, who the doctor says is the scariest woman on the face of the planet, and the doctor's hotel room gets a little crowded, albeit one where many of the players are in hiding.
- Dick Cavett encourages Sam to write a book about his playing days, and Diane helps him do it. Meanwhile, Norm's old rival for Vera wants to make a move on her now that she and Norm are separated.
- The gang at Cheers flies Woody's old girlfriend in from Indiana to visit, and it becomes obvious that when they're together they use binge eating to curb their sexual urges. Meanwhile, Frasier takes a job at Cheers to make Diane feel guilty.
- Rebecca is afraid that Robin is getting tired of her since after four dates they have not yet slept together. So in an effort to spice up their relationship, she decides to wait for him in his apartment stark naked. However, Sam finds out Robin's delayed by a few hours so he rushes off to Robin's apartment to tell Rebecca, in large part in his wish to see her naked. But neither Rebecca or Sam get their wish when ready to leave the apartment, Rebecca, thinking that she's pushed the elevator button in Robin's apartment, accidentally triggers the security system instead. All the doors and windows are secured and Rebecca and Sam are trapped inside. What's worse is that they also trigger the electronic laser sensor system, so they can't even move for fear of cutting one of the laser sensors. They have to figure out how to get out of their predicament without setting off the alarm before Robin returns. Meanwhile, back at the bar, Norm tries to teach Woody about economics. That lesson culminates in a game of Monopoly with Cliff and Frasier, the game which ultimately does have the desired effect, but not quite in the way Norm had envisioned.
- 1982–199330mTV-PG7.3 (408)TV EpisodeThere is a new postal uniform which Cliff refuses to wear despite never having seen it. Twitchell, the bar's postal delivery man, threatens to report Cliff unless he complies. Twitchell does report Cliff by bringing in postal inspector Henderson, who will suspend Cliff unless he complies. Once Cliff sees the flashy, sequin-trimmed uniform, Cliff changes his mind and wears the new uniform proudly. However, there's something about the uniform that Cliff doesn't know. Meanwhile, Woody's naive cousin, Russell, comes to Boston for a visit. Once they hear him, Sam and Rebecca hire Russell to sing and play the piano at the bar for tips. Russell is somewhat obsessive once he gets his mind set on something, and his newest fixation is Rebecca. When she confronts him about his supposed crush, he says he doesn't have one. In reality he has an all consuming love, as expressed by the semi-nude mural of Rebecca he's painted on his motel room wall. Rebecca has to figure out how to let him down gently, or so she thinks.
- Frasier has a massive headache, and no matter what he does, it won't go away. For Frasier, Lilith suggests he take an extreme measure: acupuncture or at least acupressure. Believing it quackery, Frasier initially won't do it, until... The process isn't quite what Lilith expects. What will go away if the US government and Woody have their way is Henrí, whose Visa has run out. Henrí mentions that a way he could stay is to marry a US citizen, an idea on which Kelly picks up, with her being the bride. Woody doesn't like the idea. Woody and Kelly have an argument over it, which pushes Kelly into marrying Henrí, she believes only "on paper". They would get divorced immediately after, but Henrí may have other thoughts. This action by Kelly could jeopardize Woody's immediate future plan to ask Kelly to marry him, and thus jeopardize their long term future together.
- There are a lot of transactions taking place in the bar this evening. Despite Rebecca's concern about its legality and its affect on the bar's license, Sam organizes the first sets of transactions: a basketball betting pool worth $500, $125 for each of the four quarters. Two reluctant bettors are Woody, who doesn't like to lose money or take money from his friends, and Rebecca, who eventually sees that $500 is more than she normally makes in an evening's work. The second transaction happens between the Cranes and Norm, the former who have hired the latter to decorate their unborn child's nursery in as neutral and unbaby-like a scheme as possible. And the third sets of transactions happen primarily between the gang at the bar and the local florist. It's Carla's second wedding anniversary to Eddie, and she is without Eddie for the evening as he's on the road with the ice show. Carla is certain that he'll come through with a romantic gesture for their anniversary regardless. He's got five and a half hours until midnight and nothing yet has happened. Many people in the bar have their doubts if Eddie will actually come through. As a result, Carla receives more than one floral bouquet that evening. The question is are any of them really from Eddie?
- Woody has some honey bees delivered to the bar and keeps them in the office for safekeeping. Luckily he does keep them safe as they do get loose and they seem rather angry. Rebecca has another pest with whom to deal, namely her new boss, Martin Teal. Greg Stone has been fired from the company, and Teal has taken his place at corporate. He wants to meet with Rebecca. In the elevator at corporate, she is hit on by a vertically-challenged man-child in a suit, to whom she basically tells to go back to his mommy. Later, she is horrified to learn that the man-child is Martin Teal. He takes an instant like to her in more ways than one. He not only reinstates her as the sole manager at Cheers, but he wants to date her. To get him off her back, she lies and tells him that she is already romantically involved with someone, namely Sam. But Martin Teal is a man-child who is used to getting what he wants at any and all cost.
- Carla's task is to get Eddie's number retired from the Bruins as a memorial to him. She is circulating a petition to achieve her goal and does whatever needed, including lie, coerce and threaten, to get people to sign. Rebecca's task is to throw yet another corporate party, this time for Larry, a middle manager who is retiring. Rebecca is as enthusiastic about this task as Larry is about his retirement and his feelings for the company, which are not very much. However, when one of the corporate Vice-Presidents, Mr. Sheridan, arrives for the party, Rebecca has to pretend that she put more effort into planning and implementing it than she has, which may be difficult to achieve at the last minute. It might be easier with some advice from Sam. The Cranes are having a party of a different sort. Little Frederick Crane is one week old and it's time for his bris. All the guys in the bar are invited to the ceremony, but they all chicken out from going since they're squeamish about watching a circumcision. Despite being happy about instilling some religion into his son's life, Frasier is also squeamish and kidnaps Frederick before the knife hits. The guys try to convince Frasier to take Frederick back and support Lilith on this important day. Ultimately, Frasier and Lilith come to a meeting of the minds, but it's not quite what either expects.
- Norm's workplace party at Cheers is a miserable failure--so he tries to set up Diane as his boss's "date" for the evening.
- Cliff has been chosen to re-enact the first postal run cum pony express in Boston. The problem is is that Cliff is scared of horses. Other fears take over Cliff. Best friend Norm comes to the rescue, but will Cliff appreciate the effort? Back at the bar, Sam is in his continual battle with upstairs neighbor, John Allen Hill. At the end of his rope, Sam decides to pull out the big guns to get back at Hill by using the meanest, evilest thing at his disposal: Carla. Sam leaves it to Carla's discretion about what to do, but Carla only promises to make Hill cry. Later, Carla comes back in a panic. She confides to Lilith and Rebecca that she did the worst thing she possibly could have done: she slept with Hill. Lilith explains to a confused Carla that she and Hill have the classic compulsion/repulsion relationship. Carla is not only confused but she feels that she betrayed Sam. Carla has to come to some resolution with both Sam and Hill about the issue.
- Sam and Rebecca each have a date to attend the same black tie event at the USS Constitution, and both are stood up. Sam suggests that they go together, but Rebecca would rather do anything else than go on a date with Sam. Sam goes alone and after the event brings back to the bar Admiral William J. Crowe Jr., Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. The admiral has a good time at the bar, as does everyone there hearing his stories. After he leaves, Rebecca is in a panic when her $32,000 borrowed diamond earrings that she had left in a tumbler in a her office go missing. She thinks the admiral has stolen them as he was the only person alone in her office during the evening. These are treasonous words in the mind of patriotic American, Cliff. As she turns everything upside down in her office in search of the earrings, Rebecca says she will do anything to get the earrings back, and yes, that anything includes sleeping with Sam. Carla suggests to Sam that they recreate the scene of the supposed crime. In doing so, Sam and Rebecca come to a new understanding about their relationship, but an understanding that Rebecca would rather not divulge to Sam.
- Rebecca has the opportunity for some free cosmetic surgery. There is much discussion among the gang what she should do if anything. What she finally decides upon gets Sam thinking about it. Meanwhile, Maggie O'Keefe, Cliff's one time postal girlfriend in Canada, has left a message for Cliff, stating that she is stopping by Boston and needs to see him. Upon seeing each other, Cliff isn't disappointed as Maggie wants to "be his girl". However, he immediately becomes afflicted with what he calls hysterical blindness. This condition happened to him only one other time, that when he almost got into a romantic relationship in high school. Then, as soon as he and Wendy Beeman started going steady, he lost sight only when she was around. His sight became normalized after they broke up. Frasier easily deduces that this affliction is a psychosomatic reaction to commitment, for which he can't prescribe a quick fix. Cliff is hoping that someone, namely Sam, can at least help him with his first night together with Maggie. During Cliff's encounter with Maggie, he may come to some physical realizations about whether he and Maggie are meant to be together at this point in his life.
- After Loretta dumps Nick, he performs odd jobs around the bar for Sam in an effort to try to win Carla back.
- After his shameful performance in a charity softball game against a team of Playboy Playmates, Diane confronts Sam about his over-competitive nature.
- Cliff falls head over heels for Carla's innocent-looking younger sister, who is sitting in for Carla while she has her baby. But what Cliff doesn't know is that she isn't as innocent as she looks.
- Norm's neighbor tells him that she suspects that Vera is having an affair with her husband, and Sam must apologize for degrading Diane on a call-in radio show.
- Margaret O'Keefe, Cliff's mail carrier girlfriend living in Canada, has come back to Boston wanting to rekindle her relationship with Cliff. Cliff also wants to do so, but he isn't thinking marriage just yet. The biggest hurdle in the relationship is that Ma Clavin and Margaret have never met. When Cliff tells Ma about Margaret, Ma is hurt - she feels like Cliff wants to replace her with another woman. But Ma and Margaret do meet, and after an initial coolness between them, Ma and Margaret get along famously. They get along so well that Ma proposes to Margaret for Cliff and Margaret accepts, without Cliff even being there. Ma and Margaret announce this news to the gang at the bar, but Cliff doesn't yet want to get married. He will have to tell both Margaret and Ma, the latter who may be the more difficult person to tell. In doing so, Cliff and Ma demonstrate who wears the pants in the Clavin household. Meanwhile, Rebecca and Sam are still trying to have a baby. It's been two months without success. Rebecca is being scientific about it, and thinks the problem is that Sam is too warm "down there" due to the fact that he wears constricting bikini briefs. She suggests he try boxer shorts that contain freon to freeze his testes, which is what he becomes.
- Cliff sees dollar signs in his future when he successfully schemes to get his mom engaged to a wealthy bar patron. However, his plan soon backfires when his future step-father announces that he's giving his fortune away to charity.
- Rebecca tries to check out her competition for Robin at a high society ball.
- Cliff has bought himself a new condo in a singles building. He starts dating Sally from the building. The guys at the bar are anxious to meet Sally, but Cliff says that Sally wants Cliff all to herself and would rather stay in all the time. In reality, Sally is a shy, Plain Jane who would really love to go out with Cliff, but Cliff is embarrassed by her looks. Based on advice from Rebecca, Cliff decides to become Sally's Henry Higgins. Meanwhile, Rebecca has started smoking again to relieve some stress in her life. However she quickly realizes that it was a mistake and wants to quit, a task more difficult than she anticipates. Frasier suggests that she associate smoking with the most vile act she can imagine. As such, she tells Sam that if she smokes another cigarette, she will sleep with him. So Sam does whatever he can to catch her smoking.
- After getting one of his jokes published in a postal newsletter, Cliff thinks he's the jokemeister of Boston. However, only Lilith appreciates his brand of humor. He wants Rebecca to have a comedy night at Cheers starring himself, but Rebecca suggests he go to a comedy club open mic night, which he does, exposing a few and diminishing number of other Bostonians to his brand of humor. Back at the bar, Sam breaks a tooth on a shell that was in some crab salad from Melville's. Despite the fact that the salad was given free to Woody, Sam vows to sue to get even with his nemesis, John Allen Hill. Beyond that, Sam pickets outside of Melville's, telling his story, or a more fanciful version, to anyone who will listen. Hill admits that Sam's act, however futile, is causing his business harm and thus decides to settle with Sam. However, Hill may have more up his sleeve to beat Sam once again. Elsewhere in the bar, Carla is proud to announce that her second oldest son, Gino, has decided to become a priest. Carla is the proudest she's ever been, not so much for Gino's sake, but for herself. She believes that the parents of priests and nuns have what she calls a "free ticket out of hell" card, i.e. she will go to heaven no matter how evil her life is. She takes this opportunity to be mean to everyone in sight and relishes the act. Carla doesn't account for the fickle mind of a teenager, and she may have to make the ultimate sacrifice to get her ticket back into heaven.
- Rebecca is still in a quandary over what to do about the marriage proposal from Martin Teal. In her own words, Martin, her boss, is a weaselly little twerp, but she doesn't want to jeopardize her career by saying no. She talks Sam into rekindling their fake relationship to the point of being in a fake engagement to throw Martin off her trail. Martin however makes a preemptive move by sending Sam down to Cancun on a bartender exchange for a month, Sam who is thrilled by this opportunity. While away, Sam thinks nothing about Cheers or Rebecca. When Sam misses the corporate jet back to Boston, Martin takes that as a sign that Sam has forgotten about Rebecca and his job in Boston. Once again, Martin hits on Rebecca. Rebecca manages to hold Martin off in the short term while she works on her supposed "grief". She heads down to Cancun herself to plead with Sam to come back. Will Sam give up his new carefree life to help Rebecca? If he does, he may take the ultimate advantage of her if given the chance.
- A dalmatian puppy follows Cliff on his mail route, the pup which he names Spotty. Woody is immediately taken with Spotty. Well maintained, Spotty obviously is a lost pet, but Woody wants to keep him. Woody does whatever he can to keep Spotty, even if his rightful owners show up. Meanwhile, one of Sam's old baseball nemeses, Dutch Kincaid of the New York Yankees, wants Sam to pitch against him on the Yankee's Dutch Kincaid Day. He chose Sam because he as a hitter always had Sam's number: Dutch hit a home run almost every time Sam pitched to him. Sam doesn't want to do it, but Dutch and the gang at the bar goad him into it. Sam wants to strike Dutch out, and works out to get in top physical shape. On the day, Sam is approached by Cap Richards, Dutch's manager, who wants Sam to float a pitch to Dutch on the third throw, allowing Dutch to hit a home run. Sam is outraged and refuses to do it until Dutch's grandson, Billy, tells Sam a story of wanting to see his grandpa hit a home run, on this, his last day ever to play baseball. Sam has to decide if his own goal of striking out Dutch or pleasing a small boy is more important. Dutch may have some say in the matter.
- Through a strange twist of fate, Diane meets a cultured, intelligent man who appears to be perfect for her. But she eventually wants to dump him because she thinks he's not attractive enough for her.
- Diane and Carla console Loretta, who has caught Nick cheating on her. They counsel her to stand on her own two feet and leave Nick. When Nick comes into the bar to claim her back, a chivalrous Sam stands up for her. Nick takes that as a sign that Sam has stolen Loretta from him. So Nick threatens to steal the same from Sam, that being Diane. Nick makes an attempt to wine and dine Diane, then Loretta, then Carla and then any of the three who will give him the time of day. Meanwhile, Frasier, the chess expert, has met his match in simpleton Woody.
- Carla has given birth to her twins, which results in some short term waitressing issues at the bar. Sam decides to hire Annie Tortelli, Carla's daughter-in-law, since the Tortelli's are facing some financial hardships. However, Evan Drake would like Rebecca to hire his "friend", Laurie. Having already hired Annie, Sam and Rebecca let Annie work solely for tips. Sam and Rebecca's waitressing problems don't end there. Annie is falling for Sam, especially since Anthony is unemployed and a bum by Annie's standards, and since Sam made an offhanded comment about Annie being beautiful. Sam tries to solve both his and the Tortelli's problems with one maneuver. With Laurie, Rebecca suspects that she is Evan Drake's young lover, to which Rebecca is devastated. Rebecca has open animosity toward Laurie, and uses words like slut, harlot and tramp to describe Laurie behind her back. Rebecca needs to find out for sure if Laurie is indeed Evan Drake's lover. When Rebecca thinks she has her answer, she takes what she considers decisive however inappropriate action. Elsewhere in the bar, Frasier is angry at the guys for ruining the ending of book after movie, and decides to exact his own revenge.
- Cliff bonds with his long-lost father until he learns the real reason why he came back to see him. Meanwhile, Sam suspects that Diane intentionally sabotaged his date with a smart, cultured woman.
- Carla believes that one of her customers is her old evil Catholic school principal, and she wants to get revenge on her. Meanwhile, Cliff claims to be receiving love letters from a woman he met on his Florida vacation.
- Sam accidentally convinces Carla's son Anthony to get married, Cliff is convinced that he's grown a potato that looks like Richard Nixon, and Diane blows her opportunity to get a part-time position at the university.
- After being cut by the Bruins, Eddie finally gets a job as a penguin, not of the Pittsburgh variety, but rather a dressed-up penguin in The World of Ice ice show. The first stop on the show's tour is Seattle. Carla is reluctant to visit Eddie on the extended Seattle stop as everyone finally finds out she is afraid to fly, or to be more precise she is afraid to crash. After the gang discuss ways to help Carla, Frasier decides that he could hold a week long pteromerhanophobia workshop ending with an actual flight on a plane. Carla agrees to participate. Frasier's workshop ends up doing the trick but not quite in the way he had anticipated. Meanwhile, Murray Treadwell, a local restaurant critic, is doing a series of reviews of bars. When Cheers was managed by Sam, Treadwell gave the bar a rotten review, so Rebecca will do anything to rectify that. Treadwell implies to Rebecca that he will give the bar a good review if she goes out with him. Will Rebecca's personal relationship, or perhaps lack of, with Treadwell affect their review negatively?
- Sam and Rebecca have definitely decided that they are going to have a baby together. Rebecca wants the conception not just to be a technical exercise, but a special night that they can tell their child about. The night should be a romantic one. Just before they are ready to do it, Rebecca's talk of "making a baby" makes Sam realize what they are doing and he gets nervous and runs out on her. He needs advice and turns to Frasier. Frasier thinks Sam's nervousness is related to the fact of the purpose, as opposed to the act of making love. Sam needs to make the evening more about making love than making a baby. Concerned that she did something wrong, Rebecca turns to Lilith for advice on the situation. Lilith thinks that Sam's nervousness was due to the fact that he has never made love with the purpose of having a child, and to make the act of this lovemaking special and different than the umpteen million other times he's made love to women, Rebecca should focus on the purpose of siring a child. When Sam returns to Rebecca's apartment, their evening gets worse as they are working at cross purposes to each other.
- Cliff idolizes Weather Channel anchor, Dorothy Boysick, who, annoying to most but endearing to Cliff, has a lisp. Cliff writes her a fan letter, and gets an unexpected reply. Meanwhile, co-owner of the bar, Rebecca, wants to open a tearoom in the pool room. Sam thinks it's a dumb idea, but allows Rebecca to open it on a trial basis, letting her keep it if she clears $500 on her first night. Sam thinks this goal impossible for Rebecca. Things are going very slowly on her trial day, and Rebecca doesn't help her own cause when she chastises Frasier and Lilith, her first and only customers, when they solely order her loss leader, orange pekoe tea. However, things take an up turn for Rebecca when she hijacks and starts selling Woody's chili, which everyone in the bar loves. As it seems like Rebecca's converted chili room is a success, Sam feels like he needs to take drastic measures to sabotage Rebecca. Sam ultimately shows Rebecca how he feels about her as co-manager/co-owner, but he shows more about how he feels about his 'vette.