Don't fancy 103 minutes of Sly Stallone's musclebound mercenaries, out on DVD and Blu-ray on 13 December? Read Paul MacInnes's slim version
The ExpendablesBy Paul MacInnes, with apologies to Dave Callaham and Sylvester Stallone
Scene 1
Int - a small garage in Chicago. Day. It belongs to Sylvester Stallone, 64-year-old muscleman and mercenary for hire. His friends, including Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren and Mickey Rourke have come round for a Chat. Such is the muscle mass and so small is the room that none of the men are able to Move.
Sylvester STALLONEDa reason I call you guys here is simple.
Mickey ROURKEIt had better be simple, or I ain't gonna understand it.
Stallonei appreciate dat. [pause] It's a simple plan
Dolph Lundgren [sceptically] Oh yeah?
Stallone Oh yeah!
The two attempt to Square Up to each other, but there is not enough room
Jason Statham Guys, guys, calm down. The plan doesn't matter. What...
The ExpendablesBy Paul MacInnes, with apologies to Dave Callaham and Sylvester Stallone
Scene 1
Int - a small garage in Chicago. Day. It belongs to Sylvester Stallone, 64-year-old muscleman and mercenary for hire. His friends, including Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren and Mickey Rourke have come round for a Chat. Such is the muscle mass and so small is the room that none of the men are able to Move.
Sylvester STALLONEDa reason I call you guys here is simple.
Mickey ROURKEIt had better be simple, or I ain't gonna understand it.
Stallonei appreciate dat. [pause] It's a simple plan
Dolph Lundgren [sceptically] Oh yeah?
Stallone Oh yeah!
The two attempt to Square Up to each other, but there is not enough room
Jason Statham Guys, guys, calm down. The plan doesn't matter. What...
- 12/8/2010
- by Paul MacInnes
- The Guardian - Film News
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