Schlock Treatment: Schlock-A-Bye Baby 7......
Even more cinematic debris from the nether regions of the schlock, ultra-schlock, and sub-sludge landfill!...
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- DirectorSteve SessionsStarsDonna HamblinDonny VersigaLucien EisenachA horrifying excursion into black magic and white-knuckled terror! A conjure man (Lucien Eisenach) has moved into town with a big bag of tricks and a short temper. Unwittingly, Emily (Donna Hamblin) crosses his path and provokes his wrath. As the nightmare of his curse progresses, Emily enlists the aid of her brother (Donny Versiga) to find out what's happening and try to reverse the hex before it's too late!Voodoo hogwash featuring the world's longest car wash scene!...
- DirectorUlli LommelStarsElissa DowlingChristian BehmPatrick FaucetteThree serial killers team up at the US/Mexican border town of Juarez and go on a killing spree.A maniacal threesome makes violence and murder into an excruciatingly boring experience!...
- DirectorKareem BlandStarsSakeena NicoleArchie EkongNicholas VitulliA conflicted young woman haunted by a dark past is caught in the middle of a love triangle, and stalked by a demonic serial killer who only targets people she loves. To make matters worse, the suspects are her friends and she can trust no one. As the mystery unravels in her world of love, obsession and murder, ebony discovers that in order to stop the nightmare she will have to confront her past, and face the demons that torment her, or risk losing her own soul. In the end every broken heart is nothing but a Bleeding Rose..Another halfway decent story obliterated by... well, everything else!...
- DirectorMichael CortStarsJames Robertson JusticeCharles HawtreyRobin HawdonA race of sexy women from Angvia, a planet in another dimension, comes to Earth to kidnap women to repopulate their planet.Half-naked female aliens seek to add to their uber-colony! Pure, unadulterated cheeeze corn!...
- DirectorDeryn WarrenStarsApollonia KoteroMark HamillStella PacificThe owner of a suburban art gallery searches for someone to perform an exorcism after a witch casts a spell on him.Luke Skywalker vs. Apollonia! Pure schlock genius!...
- DirectorMatthew PatrickStarsJennifer BealsJames WilderLouis FerreiraA pretty female radio DJ and a handsome jazz musician fall in love. Unfortunately, soon both he and his jazz friend start hearing a voice in their heads, an irresistible siren call of a deadly female spirit.A mysterious DJ causes chaos! A very boring tale!...
- DirectorDon JonesStarsDean RussellGary KentTomi BarrettA cannibal hermit living in the woods preys on campers and hikers for his food supply.A killer, hillbilly cannibal! Ghosts! Don't get excited, it still manages to be painfully boring!...
- DirectorHoward AvedisStarsAlejandro ReyJohn AndersonKatherine JusticeAs part of a blackmail plot, a woman is forced to seduce her new husband's son. Complications, including murder, ensue.A crazed man kills his wife's lover and goes on a frowning spree! Drive-in schlock heaven!...
- DirectorLorenzo Munoz Jr.StarsUnodozJ10Jose E.A pair of hip-hop performers kill drug dealers to finance their music.Gangsters drive around forever! Talking and talking and talking! Annnd, talking! Pure sub-sludge agony!...
- DirectorFred Olen RayJim WynorskiStarsRoss HagenRichard GabaiAntonia DorianFive downed pilots must contend with hungry prehistoric beasts and lusty cave women on a lush island paradise.Another Jim Wynorski contribution to the schlock pile!...
- DirectorJason BaustinStarsPaul BaileyRich AdamsSylvia BeekenPolite and soft-spoken roving serial killer Roy Thompson fancies himself as an old school cowboy. Roy stops off at a sleepy small town in the Midwest and starts bumping off the locals. When the police prove fail to effectively handle the situation, various quirky residents band together as a vigilante posse and hunt Roy down.Yes, he's a psycho killer, but he's so "down home" and unassuming! Too bad he mutilates people and all! Hyper-gore cheeeze by the bucket!...
- DirectorMark JoffeStarsTom JenningsNicole KidmanJoanne SamuelSteve Beck (Vince Martin) is a Karate instructor, Robby Mason (Tom Jennings) his prize student. Beck is using drugs to give him an edge. Guy Duncan (Craig Pearce) is Beck's drug connection that threatens to expose Beck as a user then Beck kills Duncan, but Robby was witness to this. Robby confronts Beck about the killing, during the karate championship. Beck tries to kill Robby during the match and again afterward in the street.Yes, Nicole Kidman is in it! No, it's not a good movie! However, it does have its moments of schlock brilliance!...
- DirectorDouglas CurtisStarsDavid NaughtonJudie AronsonKevin McCarthyJason (David Naughton) moves into an abandoned train car where he resurrects the vicious ghost of his landlady's dead husband - The Mister. After some near-fatal encounters with the violent specter he seeks local exorcist Vincent Tuttle (Kevin McCarthy).David Naughton is haunted by a peevish ghost! A rather dull, imbecilic "comedy" that might cause posterior irritation!...
- DirectorVadim JeanStarsCraig FairbrassElizabeth HurleyKeith AllenDr. Stephanie Lyell works for Neurological Research, and is testing a seemingly safe personality-altering drug on Marc Gilmour a notorious Serial Killer. But when a pair of bizarre suicides occur at Dr. Lyell's apartment complex, Homicide Detective Terry Hamilton connects the mysterious deaths to the drug's diabolical side effects on Gilmour. Only after they too begin to experience horrible dreams and hallucinations do Terry and Stephanie realize they are trapped in Gilmour's nightmarish world, from which there is no hope of escape.Nope, Elizabeth Hurley can't save this from sub-sludge hell! It all adds up to nothing!...
- DirectorJordi GigóStarsSilvia SolarOlivier MathotJosé NietoFormer Countess Clair and Professor Gruber conduct occult research in castle basement of Count Victor, re-animating people to kill for them.Mad science! Black magic! Zombies! Nearly non-stop nudity! Pure schlock gold!...
- DirectorPhillip J. RothStarsLane LenhartRobert TossbergBrenda SwansonIn a post-apocalyptic future, a wheelchair-bound veteran volunteers for an experimental cybernetic program that will allow him to walk again, only to find that it turns him into a lethal killing machine pre-programmed to kill the last remaining member of the resistance - the woman he loves.A TERMINATOR ripoff that finds a way to be incredibly boring!...
- DirectorScott P. LevyStarsRoddy McDowallAlex Hyde-WhiteMelanie ShatnerTrapped under 2500 ft. Of crushing pressure, an underwater research team is invaded by an unknown mind-controlling alien. Terror turns to paranoia as the team members turn on each other, unable to discern friend from foe.Another brilliant Roger Corman production! Undersea monster schlock of the highest order!...
- DirectorJim WynorskiStarsTraci LordsArthur RobertsLenny JulianoAn alien arrives on Earth looking to take human blood in an attempt to preserve his dying planet.A remake of a Roger Corman film, directed by Jim Wynorski, starring Traci Lords! Pure paradise!...
- DirectorAlbert PyunStarsJenny Dare PaulinMorgan WeisserAlan AbelewOn May 19, 2004, an unprecedented biological outbreak occurred in Lawton, California. A classified N.S.A.A. report detailed the carnage which ensued that night. This film is based on that top-secret report.A "found footage" film about a zombie invasion turns out to be a long, long drive down the same road! Eternally! At night!...
- DirectorKinji FukasakuStarsVic MorrowShin'ichi ChibaPhilip CasnoffAn embattled planet, which is on the edge of doom, sends an S.O.S. and an intergalactic team comes to its rescue.Quite possibly the most absurd of all of the STAR WARS clones! Watch and believe!...
- DirectorAlbert BandStarsJosé FerrerMichael PatakiJan ShutanCommunist soldiers accidentally unleash the part-vampire servant of Dracula, as well as Zoltan, his vampire dog, during excavations in Romania. Together, they set out for America to find the last living direct descendant of the great Count. Meanwhile, said descendant, unaware of his true heritage, goes on vacation with his family and their dogs, not knowing they are in great danger. Fortunately, a vampire hunter is also on the case and is tracking down the servant and his dog, as well as the descendant, in order to destroy the former and protect the latter.Is it absurd? Yes, but it's also highly entertaining!...
- DirectorGeorge McCowanStarsJack PalanceCarol LynleyBarry MorseSome time in the future, man has set up colonies on the Moon, when Earth becomes uninhabitable. A madman decides to destroy the Moon colonies with his robots and automated ships, and only three people and their robot can stop him.Yet another STAR WARS clone! Hilarious from start to finish! Jack Palance must be seen as the grimacing Omus!...
- DirectorHarry ThomasonStarsWink RobertsRoger ManningRobert GinnavenA glowing meteor falls into a secluded pond into which Mafia hitmen have dumped the body of one of their victims. Students from the local college use the pond for a swimming hole. Then the fun begins.Gangsters! An alien-possessed zombie! George Gobel! It's all here in this schlock sausage fiesta!...
- DirectorLaurence JacobsMark StockStarsRobert ClarkeAnn RobinsonDavid StafferA Martian begins to attack the patrons and staff of a movie theater during the 1950's as a low budget science fiction film plays on the screen.Abysmally boring, the only terrifying aspect is the woman who pulls enormous boogers out of her nose! Pure $h!t!...
- DirectorJesús FrancoOlivier MathotStarsHoward VernonAntonio MayansLina RomayA young doctor visits the secluded home of his ailing mentor - Eric Usher - who believes the house itself is alive and plotting to drive him insane, manifesting itself through ghostly apparitions.Jess Franco's nonsensical opus uses 20+ minutes of footage from an earlier, unrelated film as a "flashback" sequence! It's also intolerably boring!...